Little Earthquakes
by HBIC-Santana
Summary: A/U Ensemble fic. A chef, an accountant, a football wife, a wedding singer, and a wedding planner meet in a prenatal yoga class and form a bond that helps them through the ups and downs of new motherhood. Meddling mothers-in-law, clueless husbands, health crises, an actress running from her tragic past,a college student intent on ruining lives, and all-consuming unconditional love.
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone! I decided to write a story based on "Little Earthquakes" by Jennifer Weiner. It'll be AU, the characters are all adults and the girls didn't go to high school together. Some of them went to school with their husbands though. Each chapter will focus on a different character or characters, and I will change the "main characters" each time, so check back often if you only search for stories about certain ones, or add this story to your alerts.

Rachel, Brittany, Santana, Mercedes, and Tina meet in a prenatal yoga class and experience the ups and downs of motherhood together. Quinn is also heavily featured as are all of the New Directions guys. Chapter one will be up very soon, I just wanted to put this little intro first without having to list any characters. For those of you following "My Life Would Suck Without You", I promise I'll update that within the next few days too!


	2. April: Quinn

She sat on the park bench in the shade, just like she had every day since returning home to Lima, Ohio. Baggy jeans and a loose fitting gray tee-shirt hanging on her waif-like body, stringy blonde hair with dark roots in a low ponytail, dark circles under her eyes that she didn't attempt to cover with make-up anymore, and a big pink bag by her feet. She was a shadow of her former self but no one noticed her anymore, which was just as well. Two years ago, she couldn't take the trash out without someone approaching her. Back then, she could put on a hat and and some big sunglasses and could often get away unnoticed but many times people would at least look twice. She wasn't quite a household name by then but enough people knew of her and she was very recognizable. Her old self would be horrified if she ever saw her out in public looking like this, but a lot had happened since then.

The woman she had come to watch showed up right around three, just like she had every day. She was short, slightly plump, and had a prominent nose but still managed to be attractive. Her full, dark brown hair shone in the sun, and she always had a smile on her face, and noticeable glow to her complexion. She wore stretchy black exercise pants and a black hoodie over a light blue tee shirt that made it hard to tell at first if she was pregnant or just carried more of her weight in her belly area. It wasn't until the woman stopped and held her lower back that the blonde woman that watched her knew for sure. She was pregnant, the blonde knew all about those back aches.

Suddenly she felt the ground beneath her start to spin as she began to struggle for breath. It was like something heavy was sitting on her shoulders, and her hands began to sweat. She came home to Ohio to feel safe, she came to the park that she visited so much as a child for comfort but it didn't help. Nothing did since the incident. Her husband Sam had been sweet and comforting and supportive even though he was hurting just as much as she was, and she'd gone to a well-meaning therapist but nothing could make her feel safe these days. So she'd been going through the motions, getting through the day the best she could, but she wasn't living. She hadn't lived since that day.

It was three weeks after the incident, and she'd only left the apartment once, so Sam suggested they go to their favorite restaurant. She put on a simple black dress, one that hung on her body and didn't show the drastic weight loss that had taken place in just three short weeks. They didn't say much but she was fine. Fine until a couple was seated at the next table with a baby. They were at a pretty fancy restaurant so they didn't expect to see that there, but there it was, seemingly mocking her, and she froze. Last time they were there, she was pregnant and so happy. She had so much to look forward to, live for, and be grateful for. Now she felt like she had nothing.

"Quinn?" he asked, and she just sat there frozen. "Quinn," he said again and after a few seconds she finally snapped back into reality. "I just have to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back," she said and walked away. She didn't go to the bathroom, she left the restaurant and headed home. She went down the hallway and turned right into their bedroom. Their apartment had two bedrooms but she couldn't go into the bedroom at the end. It had stayed locked ever since that day. She saw their wedding picture on the night stand. Sam was so handsome. He was so good to her even after she'd ruined his life and she couldn't bring him down anymore. She packed a bag with some of her clothes, wrote Sam a note saying that she was sorry for everything and asked him not to look for her. She told him that she loved him and that she'd call him when she was ready, and took a cab to the airport. She bought a one way ticket to Lima, Ohio and the next morning, she showed up at her mom's house. She and her mom Judy had had a strained relationship, but Quinn didn't feel like she had anywhere else to go. They didn't talk. Judy didn't ask what she was doing there and Quinn was pretty sure her mother didn't even know what had happened to her in the last year and a half. That was fine with Quinn though, she had a place to stay, and she really didn't want to get into it.

Quinn's mind snapped back to reality and she noticed the woman she had been watching was walking toward her. _Now or never, _she thought and steadied herself as she got up from the bench. She grabbed the silver spoon Sam and surprised her with from Tiffany's and fixed the turquoise ribbon around it before heading in the direction of the pregnant woman. She got a little nervous as she walked closer to her, but she was able to drop the spoon in the woman's open hand-bag without being noticed and walked off in the other direction.


	3. April: Rachel

Rachel had noticed the blonde woman walking strangely close to her and almost bumping into her when she passed, but didn't have time to think about it when her cell phone rang. "Ugh," she muttered to herself as "Nancy" flashed across her caller ID. She felt bad for pressing "ignore", but her mother-in-law was relentless. She had now called eight times that day. Nancy had recently gone through her fifth divorce and clearly had nothing better to do than call her daughter-in-law all day every day. Apparently it escaped Nancy's mind that Rachel was pregnant and also the head chef at "Savory", Lima's hottest restaurant. She didn't have time to talk to her mother-in-law all day or come over at the drop of a hat to see her new tulips or the vest she got for her damn poodle. She put her phone back in her bag and headed back to Savory where she was immediately greeted with the amazing smell of spiced pork belly and pistachios roasting in the oven for the gelato. She had been a vegan, not really by choice, that was just how her dads raised her, until she was a struggling aspiring actress in New York and could no longer afford the Vegan organic food she had grown up with. It started out slowly with chicken and canned tuna, when ramen noodles were no longer able to give her the strength and endurance she needed for all her audtions, and then she discovered she really loved meat and cheese. She of course gained a lot of weight since then, putting her at about 150 pre-pregnancy which was a lot for her tiny frame, and while she wished she had the figure she had in high school, she was happy and her husband loved her just the way she was, so she didn't worry about it too much.

"What are you doing here? It's your day off, shouldn't you be slowing down?" asked Lisa, her best friend and co-owner of Savory.

"Just thought I'd stop by, you know how bored I get," Rachel said just as her cell phone rang again. She sighed and started to get really agitated when she saw who it was and smiled. "Hi baby," she greeted. Rachel and Noah had been together for eight years, married for three and they were still like two lovesick teenagers.

"Hello my hot little Jewish American Princess. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well my mom just called and said she's been calling you all day and hasn't been able to reach you.

_Shit,_ Rachel thought

"I know she can be tiring, I lived with her. She means well though, and I know she can be overbearing but she loves you, so answer once in a while. Let her know you're okay so she doesn't freak out".

"I can let her know I'm alive," Rachel grumbled "but I don't have time to talk all day or come over for stupid stuff."

"I know, that's okay. Just talk to her, she's lonely."

"Okay, I'll call her tonight, I promise, but I have to turn off my phone soon. I've got yoga". Just then Rachel could hear Noah getting paged. "I heard that, so I know you have to go. I love you".

"I love you too, have fun at yoga."

"Yoga?" Lisa laughed as Rachel hung up the phone.

"Don't laugh! Just because I haven't done any exercise except for light walking in years doesn't mean this is going to be a disaster!"

"I just figured you'd start out with something a little easier, yoga can be pretty hard," Lisa replied.

"Well my doctor suggested it. And it's for pregnant women, how hard could it be? I'll see you tomorrow" Rachel waved and headed for the door, stopping when she reached in her bag and felt something metal. She pulled out a beautiful silver spoon with a ribbon, but no box or card or anything.

"Did you put this in here?" she asked her friend.

"No, but it's cute" she said.

"Hmm, strange," Rachel said as she put it back in her bag and glanced at herself in the mirror next to the door. She sighed as she smoothed her tee-shirt. She was pretty sure she just looked fat to most people. She had been chubby for years and always hoped to be one of those cute pregnant women but was afraid that she wasn't. She thought it kind of sucked. She sighed again and went on her way.

"Mommies, welcome" the instructor greeted soothingly. Rachel muttered a "hi" and then remembered to turn her cell phone off before looking around the room. There were four other women, all pretty far along in their pregnancies by the looks of things. To her right was a cute blonde dressed completely in yellow and socks with little yellow duckies on the ankles. Even with the baby bump, Rachel could tell she had a dancer's body and tried not to immediately hate her. The blonde gave her a warm smile and a cheerful "hello". Then she looked to her left and saw literally the most beautiful woman she had ever seen in real life. She was both elegant and sexy at the same time with long black hair that fell in perfect soft curls, flawless skin the color of the chai lattes that Rachel drank every morning, full beautiful lips, and hypnotic dark eyes. A small section of her perfect, stretch mark free belly was exposed, and Rachel took note of her perfectly manicured nails and the diamond on her left hand that was the approximate size and shape of a Jolly Rancher. Although she was otherwise thin, she looked to be the farthest along in her pregnancy out of all the women there, and her nose was flawless. Rachel had always been self-conscious about her own nose and was constantly looking at other's for comparison. She sighed at the unfairness as she tried not to stare but couldn't help but notice that this woman looked really familiar. Then it came to her, she couldn't remember her name but knew it was something exotic. Her husband had just been traded to the Cleveland Browns, and they were from North Carolina. She never paid much attention to sports but she did remember Noah telling her about this one day not too long ago. It was a big deal in town because they had chosen to live in Lima rather than Cleveland. Behind them was a black woman who was even more overweight than Rachel and definitely didn't look very pregnant at all. Rachel wasn't very proud of the fact that it made her feel better about herself. But she had a nice smile, and beautiful skin, and like Rachel, she was attractive despite being overweight. Next to the black woman was an Asian woman who was completely engrossed in something on her iPhone and hadn't made eye contact with the rest of the group yet. She was dressed all in black, with black fingernails, but she had sections of blue in her hair, and blue eye shadow.

"Let's start with introductions, I'm Holly Holiday, I also teach Jazzercise and I'm a substitute for the Allen County Public School System. I've never been pregnant or even had a relationship that lasted more than 36 hours but they needed someone to teach this class so here I am. Go!" the instructor said and Rachel couldn't help but wonder if she was also a porn star with a name like that.

The cute blonde went first. "I'm Brittany Abrams! I'm 27 years old and 26 weeks pregnant! Things are great now but I had lots of morning sickness in the beginning! I love being pregnant and we were worried I wouldn't ever get pregnant because my husband's legs don't work, even though the sex is fine, more than fine, I was worried we might have problems! And I'm a wedding planner!" she exclaimed enthusiastically.

Rachel was next. "I'm Rachel Berry-Puckerman . I'm 33 years old and 29 weeks pregnant, and it's a girl. Everything has been great but I'm a little bummed because I feel like I don't really look pregnant yet". At that the black woman gave an understanding nod. "And I'm the head chef at a restaurant called Savory".

"Oooh, I love Savory!" Brittany exclaimed while clapping her hands excitedly.

The beautiful woman was next. "I'm Santana", she said. "I'm 26 years old and 36 weeks pregnant and this is my first pregnancy too. It's a boy," she added, gently patting her large bump. "I haven't had any problems and I'm not working right now. We only moved here a few weeks ago for my husband's job."

"What did you do before you moved here?" Holly asked.

"I was an on air meteorologist in North Carolina," she replied, and Rachel was fairly certain she had done some modeling too. She had one of those recognizable faces and she thought she remembered hearing something about that too.

"Oh my god, your husband is….." Brittany started excitedly but Santana shot her a look that told her she better keep her mouth shut. Brittany blushed and sent her an apologetic look that was so cute Santana had to laugh a little bit.

Then the black woman spoke up. "I'm Mercedes Jones, I just entered my third trimester. I'm a wedding singer who hasn't found Mr. Right yet and I'm 34, and since my best friend is the mayor of Gaytown and can't have a baby on his own, we decided we might as well have one together," she shrugged, causing the other women to giggle.

The Asian woman next to her finally put her iPhone down and introduced herself. "I'm Tina Cohen-Chang-Chang, but I've only been married once. My parents decided to give me a confusingly long name for a little girl for some strange reason. I met my husband Mike while teaching at Asian Camp when we were teenagers and we've been together ever since. I'm 31 and this is our first baby, and I'm completely addicted to Angry Birds and Mike's abs. Oh, and I'm an accountant."

"Okay then, let's begin," Holly said as she sat Indian-style, closed her eyes and took some deep cleansing breaths. They did some stretches and she taught them the proper breathing technique and then instructed them to get in the Downward Facing Dog position. Brittany and Tina accomplished this with no problem and Rachel and Mercedes slowly got it too. It was the beautiful woman- Santana who thumped to her knees first with a soft groan and a pained expression on her face. Holly immediately rushed to her side. "Was that too hard?" she asked.

Santana shook her head. "No it was fine, I've been doing yoga for years, I'm just feeling a little….off today."

"Why don't you just take it easy for now and focus on your breathing?" Holly suggested.

Santana nodded and the class continued for what seemed like hours to her. They did a several more poses which Rachel thought were completely ridiculous but she tried to remain focused. She noticed Santana wincing and softly groaning every few minutes and looked over at her out of concern.

"I'm okay," she whispered, "just a little crampy today". Rachel nodded and went back to the "dead hippopotamus" or whatever the hell they were supposed to be doing now.

Soon after that, the class was over and the women all headed out. Brittany caught up with Rachel "I just love your restaurant" she said enthusiastically.

"Thanks, do you remember what you had?" Rachel asked.

"Shrimp pa-e-lla," Brittany replied with a smile, proud that she could finally pronounce it correctly. "It was the best I've ever had, and oh my God, what's wrong with her?" she exclaimed, pointing across the parking lot. Rachel looked over at Santana who was leaning against the side of her black Escalade with her hands pressed up against the window.

"She either broke a nail and is really bothered by it or…." Rachel started

"Oh my God!" Brittany yelled again, rushing toward her.

Santana looked at them, trying to holding back tears. "Either I've suddenly lost the ability to control my bladder or my water just broke," she explained, gesturing to the wet spot on her yoga pants and the small puddle on the asphalt. "But it's too soon, I still have four weeks to go and my husband is in Texas."

"How long have you been having contractions?" Rachel asked, putting a comforting hand on Santana's back.

"I haven't had any," Santana said "just what feels like really bad period cramps."

"What do you think contractions are?" Rachel asked, her head tilting to the side.

"I don't know. We were going to take a childbirth class in North Carolina," she cried, pausing as another contraction hit her. "I thought these were just those Braxton-Hicks things I read about."

"Well Braxton-Hicks are irregular and they don't hurt," Rachel explained.

Santana nodded, getting even more upset "then my husband got traded and we moved here…..this can't be happening. It's too soon, I don't know anyone here and what if he misses the birth?"

"It'll be okay" Rachel reassured, "first labors can last for days". She was trying to be helpful but that piece of information almost made Santana and Brittany burst into tears. Santana winced and grabbed her belly again. Things were clearly moving pretty quicker than that, and it was apparent that she probably wouldn't be in labor for days.

"Why don't we get to you the hospital?" Rachel suggested.

"Do you think you can call a cab for me?" Santana asked desperately.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Rachel exclaimed. "We're not going to leave you to go through this alone". She really did feel bad for the woman who just an hour ago, she envied so much. New city with no friends or family, husband out of town, and her first baby coming way ahead of schedule. By this time, Tina and Mercedes noticed something was going on with Santana and joined them over by her car.

"I'll drive," Brittany offered. "This is my car right here, we can all fit," gesturing to her Volvo station wagon. Rachel was not surprised at all to see that the perky woman drove a bright yellow car. She and Tina helped Santana into the passenger seat and then climbed into the back next to Mercedes. The girls all called their husbands and Kurt to let them know what was happening, and Santana handed her phone over to Rachel and instructed her to call her husband. He didn't answer and she had to leave a message telling him that Santana was in pre-term labor and being rushed to the hospital. "Is there anyone else I can call for you?" Rachel asked.

It turned out they were both patient's of Dr. Wu so Rachel knew his number by heart and let him know what was going on. Santana lamented that all her friends and family were back in North Carolina, and there was no point in worrying any of them just yet. It's not like they could be there in time anyway, and she and her mom were never close.

"Do you think there is a private entrance or back door we can go through?" Santana asked Rachel desperately. "My husband is famous, and I'll admit I've always been a little vain. I really don't want anyone to see me like this."

"Santana, it's a hospital, with all they see, wet pants is nothing. Besides, they're black, it's not really noticeable. "

"Please?" she pleaded sounding even more desperate.

"Okay, my husband is an ER doctor. I'll call him and have him meet us at the employee entrance with a wheelchair and a blanket. "

"Thank you," she cried, pulling out some dark sunglasses and putting them on.


	4. April: Santana

a/n: Good morning Gleeks! Thanks again for all the favorites, alerts and reviews! I'm Finally getting those emails, saying that people are enjoying this. It's just delayed about two days I guess! I'm so glad people are liking this. Here's the next chapter. Let me just say that I'm not a medical expert, and for the sake of this story, I am pretending that Lima is a suburb of Cleveland. So, just go with it, even if you know Ohio geography better than that!

A few minutes later they pulled into the employee parking lot at Lima Memorial Hospital. Dr. Noah Puckerman was already out there with a wheelchair and a blanket, just like Rachel said he would be. They got Santana situated and Rachel and Noah took her inside while Brittany, Mercedes, and Tina parked in the patient lot. Santana couldn't help but notice how handsome Dr. Puckerman was, not as handsome as her own husband was, but handsome none-the-less. They checked her into triage, and the nurse instructed her to take everything off below the waist and change into the provided gown. She did and got settled onto the gurney around the same time Brittany, Mercedes, and Tina caught up with them again.

Noah excused himself just as a young female resident came to check on Santana's progress. "Hello Mrs. Hudson, I'm Dr. Burton. I'm just going to see what's going on here. How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Just peachy," Santana replied with a roll of her eyes.

"Okay, let's take a look" she said as she lifted up the blanket and Santana's new "friends" all went and stood by her head to give her some privacy. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. She had been the most popular girl in her entire high school, although that was mostly because she was hot, since she was a bit of a bitch back then. Yet here she was, not even ten years later and the only people to help her through birth were some women she had only met less than two hours ago. They all seemed to be very nice and they meant well but she really wanted Finn. He should have been there. She had left him several voice mails, text messages, even an email. Messages had been left with his coach, one of his teammates, his publicist, and their maid, and she still hadn't heard from him. It was really starting to piss her off.

"Well your water broke," Dr. Burton announced in a cheerful tone.

_No shit,_ Santana thought but she just nodded politely, like her pageant experience had taught her to.

"You're only one centimeter dilated though. This could take a while, and we generally like to get the baby delivered within 24 hours of the water breaking to avoid the risk of infection. So if things don't pick up by morning, we'll have to start talking about your options." The women all nodded, knowing what the doctor was talking about.

Just then the woman in the next bed could be heard talking about Finn Hudson's "Mexican" wife being right next to her, as if that flimsy curtain was sound proof or something. For the record, Santana was an American of Puerto Rican descent, but people regularly referred to her as Mexican for some reason. She tried to ignore the conversation until the doctor got excited again and asked when her husband might be showing up. Dr. Burton was surprised she didn't figure out who her patient was sooner. She thought she looked familiar and she did notice that flawless 12 carat emerald-cut diamond on her left hand. She should have known, of course everyone knew Finn had been traded and they'd recently moved to the area, and women in Lima, Ohio just didn't have rings like that. Plus that ring had been all over the magazines when they had gotten engaged.

Finally Santana was fed up listening to her neighbor muse about why the great Finn Hudson wasn't at the hospital and how she hoped he'd be there soon so she could catch a glimpse of him.

"Can I go to labor and delivery now?" she asked, loud enough to make her neighbor shut up.

"Are you sure?" Dr. Burton asked. "I was going to let you go home. This could take hours, and we usually suggest the mom labors at home for as long as possible, that lessens the chance of pitocin, forceps, vacuums, and cesarean sections being used. Of course your water has broken so we would like to have you back by about 6 am to check on your progress, and go from there."

"I'd just like to go to labor and delivery please," she said, almost desperately. "The only person at home is my maid, and I live on the other end of town."

"Okay Mrs. Hudson," Dr. Burton smiled, "we'll get you admitted. But your friends will have to leave, you can only have immediate family up there."

"We're her sisters!" Brittany exclaimed cheerfully.

Dr. Burton looked at the group in the small cubicle. Five women, one Latina, one black, one Asian, and two white…all very pregnant.

"Our parents have a lot to look forward to!" the blonde said nodding.

"Fine," Dr. Burton sighed, obviously not believing her but going along with it anyway, because she wanted to do everything she could to please Finn Hudson's wife. "But only two of you can stay."

The pregnant women all decided that Rachel and Brittany would stay with Santana, so they got Mercedes and Tina's phone numbers and promised to keep them updated. They left, agreeing to return after the baby was born, and caught a cab back to their cars at the yoga studio.

A little while later Santana was in her own private room and comfortable. Well, about as comfortable as possible while being in labor with relative strangers and not knowing where her husband was. Brittany and Rachel took turns rubbing her back and bringing her ice chips. Her mother had warned her about this. They were never close, her mother choosing drugs, and modeling, and perfecting her figure over her daughter. She never gave much advice but she did warn her when Santana first started falling for Finn. She told her that athletes couldn't be trusted, and that nothing in her life would ever be private again. But what did Cecelia Lopez know anyway? SHE couldn't be trusted, and she was a drug addict who had always been jealous of her daughter. NFL players were super reliable in Santana's opinion.

Finn was wonderful. He had doted on Santana, cherished and adored her since the day they met five years before. It was fall 2005, and she was the reigning Miss North Carolina. As one of her duties, she got to sing the National Anthem at the Carolina Panthers game. She was 21 and beautiful and most of the men were absolute pigs to her, making inappropriate comments and jokes toward her. Mostly about the set of implants her mother rewarded her with for managing to get to through high school without any unwanted pregnancies. She'd also graduated with a 4.0 but her mother cared more about the not being a grandmother yet part. She was just about to sing in front of thousands and was suddenly very upset because one player asked her if he could make a giant omelet when she was done with the ostrich eggs she was smuggling in her bra.

"Leave her alone!" one man finally shouted. "Are you alright, Miss?" he asked as he approached her. Santana wiped her eyes, cleared her throat and looked up at none other than Finn Hudson. 23 year old quarterback and top recruit for that season. Drew Brees, who? It was all about Finn.

"I'm fine, thank you," She nodded.

"Ignore them, they were just messing around."

"Well it wasn't funny," she sniffled. "I just came here to sing."

"I know, here" he said, handing her a napkin and a bottle of water.

She accepted it, composed herself and then it was time for her to sing. After the game, she was walking to her car when she heard her name being called.

"Santana!" Finn yelled. "Can I walk you to your car? It's not safe out here for a pretty young girl to be by herself," he said with a smile.

God, his smile was cute. But she had to be strong. She had to play hard to get. Make him work for it, even if he was THE great Finn Hudson. That was the one other thing her mother taught her.

"How do I know I'm safe with you?" she smirked.

"Ouch. You wound me." He joked, placing a hand over his heart. Well actually it was the right side of his chest. He clearly didn't know any better and Santana thought that was pretty charming.

They continued walking until they reached Santana's Honda. "This is me" she gestured, unlocking the car with the remote, and like a perfect gentleman, Finn opened the door for her.

"Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?" he asked, flashing that devilishly handsome grin once again.

"I don't think so," she replied.

"Oh, so you're taken?" he laughed.

"Don't you have some crazy after party to get to or something?" she asked, turning her head quickly so he wouldn't see her smile.

"Oh, I see how it is, you're playing hard to get."

"I'm not playing anything," she said "I'm performing my pageant duties. Besides, I can't see myself having a relationship with a man who wears tighter pants than I do to work!" she smirked.

Finn's expression turned serious and Santana worried that that last comment might have been too much. She had probably insulted him, and what's worse, they just met and she said the word "relationship"!

"What if I promised to wear regular pants?" his grin returning.

"To work?" she asked.

"To dinner".

She batted her eyes, looked back up at him "then…." She paused playing hard to get. "I'll have to think about it".

"So, Friday night?" he asked.

"Friday night." She nodded, finding a piece of paper and scribbling on it before handing it to him. This is my address, pick me up at 7. He closed her door and she drove off, both of them with ridiculously goofy grins on their faces. She had a date with Finn Hudson. Finn. Fucking. Hudson. She couldn't believe it. The next day when she got home from school, her senior year at UNC Charlotte, there was a beautiful bouquet of lilies outside her door. Lilies were her favorite, she didn't know how he knew that, but she was delighted. Their first date was the best first date either one of them had ever been on. They started seeing each-other regularly after that and they both fell hard and fast. It was Finn who knew that he wanted to marry Santana right away and didn't see the point in waiting. She wanted to finish college and get a real job, even though, if she married Finn, she knew she would never have to work again. But she wasn't like that, she was hard-working, and independent, and wasn't going to just depend on a man. She graduated that spring and landed a job as "weather girl" at the biggest station in Charlotte. Finn proposed on New Year's Eve, a little more than a year after they first met, and they'd been married about three years now. They had the perfect marriage but everything seemed different since she got pregnant. He still doted on her and looked at her with admiration when he was there, but he seemed to be away a lot more. She knew he got a lot of promotional work in the off season, but he was harder to get in touch with when he was away lately. And didn't he know she was nine months pregnant?

Santana was pulled from her thoughts when her cell phone rang. It was Finn, finally. "San, baby?" he said sounding frantic.

"Where are you?" Santana cried.

"I'm on my way, at the airport"

"In Cleveland?"

"No baby, Dallas. I just got the messages, I'm so sorry. My plane is taking off in 15 minutes, I'll be there in less than 4 hours. Keep your knees together!"

"Oh God!" she groaned as another contraction ripped through her body and she had trouble holding onto the phone "Hurry!"

"I'll be there as soon as I can. Bye San. I love you."

Finn hung up, and she dropped her phone on the bed. This was the worst contraction yet and she couldn't bear to talk through it anymore. They were coming a minute apart by now. "I need drugs" she growled, "someone get me a fucking doctor, I wants to get my anesthesia on!" Brittany waddled off to find the doctor while Rachel continued to rub Santana's back. Not that it really helped or anything. Brittany returned a few minutes later with Dr. Wu, Santana's obstetrician who examined her and proclaimed that she was now 6 centimeters dilated and could receive an epidural. The anesthesiologist was there a few minutes later and in no time, Santana was numb from the waist down and all three women were able to sleep.

The next time Santana opened her eyes, it was light out, and Finn was there. So were about a dozen nurses crowding in Santana's room because they suddenly had the need to check on her, fluff her pillow, change her IV, or make sure there was soap in her bathroom.

"Hey baby," he said, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"You're here," she croaked, tears of joy filling her eyes.

"Thanks for keeping your knees together until I got here," he joked.

She was so glad to have him there, but something was different. His scent was different. He didn't smell like the Finn Hudson she had known for five and a half years. She tried to brush it off, thinking it must be her pregnancy hormones, her exhaustion, the drugs, different soap at the hotel, or something that brushed off on him at the airport. But she couldn't help but think that he smelled faintly like perfume, and not her perfume.

There was no time to think about that though, the doctor was right behind him ready to do another cervical exam.

Everyone cheered when he announced that she was now 10 centimeters and ready to push. Rachel and Brittany got up to leave but Santana begged them to stay, nodding to Finn to let him know that that's what she wanted. Dr. Wu suited up as Brittany and Rachel each grabbed one of Santana's legs and Finn supported her back.

"Now, another contraction is coming, when I say so, I want you to bear down like you're going to the bathroom." Dr. Wu instructed. "Go!"

"Push, Push, Push, Push!" everyone chanted.

45 minutes later and still no baby, even Brittany and Rachel looked exhausted. Santana had had it. "I can't do this anymore" she cried as she collapsed into her pillow.

"Yes you can, you're doing it, and I'm so proud of you" Finn whispered in her ear as he stroked her hair.

"Just one more big push and the head will be out, come on Santana," Dr. Wu encouraged.

The girls tightened their grip on Santana's legs and she gave it all she had. Even though she couldn't feel the contractions anymore, the burning and the pressure were unlike anything she had ever experienced before.

"The head is out!" the doctor announced, and one more big push later, Santana felt her son's body leave hers. She wanted to lay back and cry, but Dr. Wu instructed her to reach down. When she did, he guided her hands to her son's slippery little body and helped her lay him on her chest.

"Baby, you did it! Open your eyes!" Finn gushed.

She looked down at what she would soon learn was 5 pounds, 4 ounces of sheer perfection. He had her full lips and dark eyes, his adorable nose, and the perfect amount of dark hair. His head was perfectly round, despite the fact that it took almost an hour to push him out, and even covered in blood and a stinky, messy white substance, Santana thought he was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen.

"Look what we made," she cried, looking up at Finn, forgetting the horrible concerns she had about him not too long ago.

"Welcome to the world, Christopher Javier. I'm your mommy. I love you so much." She then proceeded to pepper him with kisses, not even caring that he was messy. He was all hers, and he was amazing.


	5. April: Mercedes

That same morning in a 3 bedroom house across town, Mercedes and Kurt were enjoying their breakfast. Well, Mercedes was enjoying her breakfast, Kurt was drinking some coffee with Splenda. He had been putting on sympathy weight with Mercedes and just noticed his hips were starting to look like a pear. Mercedes was eating the only thing she wanted to eat for the last seven months...tots. She got up for a second helping, ignoring the disapproving look she was receiving from Kurt. She had to eat, and everything else made her want to hurl anyway. Whatever, she didn't care.

"So how was yoga?" Kurt asked, breaking the tension, "someone went into labor?"

"Yeah, this woman Santana did. She was only 36 weeks, but this other woman Brittany texted me and told me she had a healthy baby boy this morning".

Kurt nodded, and then realized he knew that name. I mean, how many Santanas could there be? And he knew Finn had just gotten transferred here not too long ago and that they were expecting a baby. Kurt had never paid attention to sports until he saw Finn and Santana's wedding pictures in USweekly a few years back, and had been a fan ever since. Well, a fan of Finn's, he still couldn't care less about sports.

"Oh really?" Kurt asked, suddenly perking up. "Was her husband there? Did you meet him? Are you going to visit them today? Can I come? You know how much I love babies!"

"I had to leave before he got there, they only let two people in the delivery room. I think they probably want their privacy today, and she's probably a little sore. No, you're not coming to drool over Finn, and since when do you care about other people's babies? We went to see my cousin's baby last summer and you wouldn't go within ten feet of her because you were afraid she would spit-up all over your sweater." Mercedes said, rolling her eyes.

"It was a brand new Marc Jacobs….and I'll like our baby" he retorted. "Just put my name out there. They just bought that huge house, it probably hasn't been decorated yet, and I'm sure the nursery hasn't been done yet. The baby coming so early and all."

Mercedes just rolled her eyes. He really needed to get over his Finn Hudson crush, Kurt clearly wasn't his type. Her best friend was completely harmless though. They'd known each-other for 18 years, having been the two biggest divas in their high school glee club. Merdedes had had the biggest crush on Kurt in the beginning. Poor girl was so clueless because Kurt was capital G Gay and it was obvious to pretty much everyone else. Once Kurt came out to Mercedes, she was shocked but understanding and she'd had his back ever since. They'd pretty much been joined at the hip and were the perfect couple, except without the sex. They were delighted when they were both accepted to Ohio State and as soon as they were uppper-classmen and didn't have to live in the dorms anymore, they got an apartment together. They'd lived together ever since, and two years ago they bought a house. Well Kurt bought a house, and Mercedes paid rent. When they were both 32 and sick of the dating scene, they decided to take the ultimate plunge together...parenthood. They tried insemination with a turkey baster but after several attempts it hadn't worked. Mercedes had always had irregular periods and her doctor explained that many overweight women often had the problem. They talked about their options and decided they'd try one round of fertility drugs to stimulate ovulation and IVF. They fertilized four eggs for the best chance of success because they could really only afford one round. Even though they really really didn't want to have more than one, two at the very most, baby at a time. They felt guilty but relieved when only two of the fertlized eggs developed and only one implanted. Two weeks later their doctor confirmed it, they had a baby on the way.

"Fine, I will, if I ever see her again. I just met her once and I doubt she'll be at yoga again considering she's not actually pregnant anymore." Mercedes replied.

"Who else was in the class?" Kurt asked pretending to care about anyone else besides Finn.

"Well there was this woman named Brittany, she's a wedding planner, and I don't know her but I recognized her. We've worked at some of the same weddings before, but we're always so busy at those things to introduce ourselves. There was another woman named Tina who seemed nice but didn't say much, she was too invested in some game on her iPhone. Mean Seagulls or something. And another woman named Rachel who is the head chef at Savory. Her husband is an emergency room doctor."

"Oooh, I've been wanting to try that place! We should all go, us and your new yoga friends…..and their husbands of course!" Kurt suggested enthusiastically.

"Would you give up? I'm not I'm not organizing a dinner with people I've met once just so you can pretend to be on a date with Finn! I already told you I'd give your name for decorating, but you're making me regret that!"

"Fine," Kurt sulked. "What are your plans for today?"

"I'm auditioning with two couples, and then I'm free the rest of the day. What about you?" Mercedes asked.

"Meeting with an expectant couple about a Feng Shui nursery. Then I'll be back here to draw up plans."

"Okay I need to get going" Mercedes said looking at her watch. "Why don't we go to Savory tonight, just the two of us?"

"It's a date" Kurt said, kissing his baby-mama's cheek.

a/n: Eh, not my best chapter, but here you go. Kurt and Mercedes were hard for me to write! Thanks again for all the favorites, followers, messages, and reviews. I woke up to two solid pages of emails from in my inbox!


	6. April: Tina

a/n: Well my last chapter was wildly unpopular. Only a fraction of the people that read the other chapters read it. So I'm not sure if I'll do a whole lot of chapters focusing on Mercedes and Kurt or if I'll just have them make appearances in chapters about the other characters. Not sure if it's because of the problems this site is having lately, or if Mercedes and Kurt are just less interesting. Let me know if you have an opinion on the matter, lol. This chapter focuses on Tina and Mike…. We'll see how it goes. This story will mostly focus on Rachel, Santana, Brittany, and Quinn anyway but I wanted to include Mercedes and Tina. I'll probably at least write chapters focusing on the births of Tina's and Mercedes' babies and then beyond that, you guys can let me know what you'd rather see. I've been working on the next chapter, or possibly next two chapters of "My Life Would Suck Without You" but I'm waiting for the next episode to air to see how certain things with Santana are going to play out. But a good portion of it is written, so that'll be up shortly after the next episode airs. I just found out that won't be until April 19, and I thought it would be April 12. UGH! I have also decided on some new things I want to do with that story later on, and am currently researching. Chapters for that won't always have to wait on new episodes to air, but for what I have planned for the next chapter, I need to see certain things on the show.

"Can you pass the raisin bran?" Tina asked her husband Mike as they sat down to breakfast.

"I will for an Asian kiss" he replied, as they rubbed noses and then exchanged a sweet peck.

"I'm so in love I might just start crying" she mused. "Every day is Valentine's Day when I'm with you," she continued. And then she actually started crying, causing Mike to look around uncomfortably. They had what all their friends considered to be a sickeningly sweet relationship, but he still did not know how to handle her pregnancy hormones.

It was the summer after they graduated from high school when they first met. They signed on to teach the fine arts to all the tech-savvy kids at Asian Camp. Mike was there because he was kind of obsessed with all things Asian, in a completely adorable way. Tina was there because her parents made her do it. She had a bad attitude going into it, until she saw the 6 foot tall specimen of a man she was going to be paired up with for the next 6 weeks. He was the hottest guy she had ever seen, and his abs, oh my God his abs! Suddenly her summer was looking a whole lot more promising.

"Mike Chang" he offered, extending his hand and offering a shy smile.

"Tina Cohen-Chang" she said, grabbing his hand and giggling like a twelve year old school girl. She was positively giddy. She'd never been that girl, except for the few times she had gotten drunk, but looking at Mike, she just couldn't help herself. Sparks were there for both of them from the beginning, and after checking to make sure they were not in fact related, they began seeing each-other outside of camp. By the end of that summer, both teenagers were in love, and devastated over the fact that their colleges were several states apart. They stayed together though, talking on the phone every day, exchanging letters, and getting together every time they had a break. After they both graduated, Mike with a degree in Dance Education, and Tina with a degree in Accounting, they both moved back to Ohio. She joined the same firm she'd been with for the last eight years, and just last year she was made a partner. He worked at various dance studios in Lima until finally opening his own two years ago. They got married two years after graduating from colleges. Tina felt that was kind of young, but they couldn't wait to live together, and Mike's uber-tradional mom had a cow over the thought of them "living together in sin". So, they'd been married about six years and things had been great for the most part. They were still madly in love, but starting a family had been a major struggle for them. They decided to start trying three years into their marriage, and although getting pregnant was never a problem for them, staying pregnant was. Tina suffered three miscarriages in the first trimester and was ready to give up when it happened. Last fall they discovered she was pregnant for the fourth time and this time just felt different. She took it easy for the first four months as a precaution, but she probably didn't need to. This pregnancy stuck and they were now just a few months away from meeting their little bundle of joy.

There was a knock at the door, and Tina quickly composed herself before going to answer it.

"That must be the designer, right on time" she smiled as if she hadn't just been bawling less than a minute before.

"Kurt Hummel" the stylish man greeted when Tina opened the door.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Tina, and this is my husband Mike" she said, ushering him inside the ultra-modern condo.

"Thanks for fitting us in. I know you're busy, being one of the few interior designers in Lima, but you did my co-worker's house last year and I just had to get you to do our baby's room. You're amazing!" Tina gushed, showing him around the house.

"This is the baby's room" she said when they reached the bedroom right off the front hallway. "The baby will sleep in our room until it can sleep through the night, and then move here. Mike is insisting on a Feng Shui nursery, and they advocate the baby's room being at the front of the house" she added.

"We don't know what we're having but we were thinking of a soothing green, and maybe bamboo or birds."

Kurt took measurements and pictures of the room and then they sat down in the living room where he asked them questions about what they like and looked through magazines and binders of other projects he had done. The couple hit it off with the designer really well and he revealed that he was going to be a father too, when Tina realized she knew his situation.

"Is your baby's mother's name Mercedes?" Tina asked excitedly.

"yes" Kurt said nodding, "why do you ask?"

"I met her! We took a yoga class together yesterday. It sure was eventful!"

"So I heard" Kurt replied. "Mercedes doesn't want the baby to actually come out now after seeing a woman in labor. I can't wait though, did she tell you it's a girl? I'm so excited to dress her up!" he exclaimed giddily.

They visited for a little while longer until Mike had to get to work, explaining that he had a class to teach in 30 minutes. Kurt left too, after saying he would be back in a week with some sketches and inviting his new friends for dinner that night at Savory. It sure was a small world.


	7. May: Brittany

a/n: okay you guys win, there will be more chapters on Tina/Mike and Mercedes/Kurt. I guess it is mostly problems with this site since I got a review and a private message about my last chapter while it still said no one had read it, lol. Thanks for the reviews/alerts/favorites! Here's the Brittany chapter, enjoy!

"San, your boobs are incredible!" Brittany commented as she sat on the couch across from Santana who was breastfeeding two week old baby Christopher, or "Topher" as they liked to call him.

"I hope mine look that good after my little one gets here" she added rubbing her bump.

"Thanks" the Latina giggled, "they're fake, but yours will definitely get bigger too." The truth was, Santana was a little self-conscious about her chest now. She didn't regret her decision to breastfeed, she was very glad she was doing it. She knew it was the best thing for Topher and herself, and loved the bonding aspect of it, but the size of her chest was absolutely ridiculous she thought. After her boob job she was a 32C, perfect for her small frame, and giving her some pretty sexy curves. Now she was spilling out of a 34DD, which was a pretty difficult size to find, especially in bras that actually looked attractive. If she had thought about what would happen after having babies, she probably would have waited on the boob job, but she was 18 at the time, and babies and breastfeeding weren't even on her radar. Oh well, Finn seemed to love them, and Topher definitely loved them.

"Does it hurt?" Mercedes asked, joining them on the couch. Santana had invited her four new yoga friends over to show her son off, and give them each a "Bugaboo" stroller. She and Topher loved theirs, they had been taking daily walks with it for the past week and she really wanted each of them to have one too.

"I'm still unsure about the whole breastfeeding thing," she confessed "plus Kurt said he'd handle the night feedings, since I'll mostly be working nights when I go back. I know it's best, but I don't want my boobs out all the time! Maybe I'll pump."

"You shouldn't be insecure about your body Mercedes" Rachel chimed in.

"Oh, I'm not insecure" she replied "I'm afraid of showing too much skin and causing a sex riot!" she giggled, high-fiving Brittany.

"It's not nearly as bad as labor!" Santana laughed, "No, it's not that bad. It was a little sore at first, especially when my milk first came in, but it's gotten a lot better. It's pretty easy now, and Topher loves it. And it makes me so proud to see the weight that he's putting on and know that I'm providing that for him. You know?" She said, now crying. "Damn hormones!"

Being born four weeks early, Topher was still tiny but he was definitely filling out. Everyone that saw him commented on how beautiful he was, and she knew people said that about all babies, and even though she was biased, she knew they meant it. His head was still perfectly shaped, he had her beautifully expressive big brown eyes, and her full pouty mouth, and the cutest little button nose. She and Finn both had cute little noses, so it was a given that their child would too. So far he didn't have the baby acne that she had read about but even if he did, he would still be beautiful.

"Okay, so what was labor like, really?" Brittany finally asked.

"Most of it wasn't bad." Santana assured. "I was apparently in labor for a full 24 hours before I knew it was happening. It just felt like really bad period cramps. I'll be honest though, once my water broke it sucked! Epidurals are amazing though, definitely get yours as soon as you can!"

"Oh, I will!" Brittany said, nodding emphatically.

"You know it, girl!" Mercedes agreed. "I'm hoping I can just go to sleep and wake up with a clean, pink baby in my arms."

"I'm planning on a natural birth at home" Tina said confidently.

"Are you nuts?" Mercedes asked as she and Brittany looked at her like she'd just said she was going to walk across the surface of the sun barefoot.

"I just think it's the best thing for me and the baby. Women have been doing it for thousands of years, it'll be a more peaceful entrance into the world for my little one, and we're both healthy, so why not?"

"I wanted a home birth but Noah is against it" Rachel lamented. "So I'm going to have the baby in the natural birth center attached to the hospital. Hopefully with as little intervention as possible".

"You'll both do fine." Santana said. "It hurt but anyone could get through it without pain medicine if they had to. I just didn't want to!" she said laughing as she switched Topher over to her other breast.

"My mom had six kids" Brittany said "but I don't think she had any of them naturally. I don't know, she never talked about it".

"I couldn't imagine that many! I'm pretty sure this baby will be an only child." Mercedes admitted. "Is your family really close?"

"Not really. After my mom died, we all kind of drifted apart. My dad has a new wife now and she seems more important to him than any of us. I was the oldest and my mom was so frazzled all the time that I took over a lot with the younger ones. So they just think I'm bossy. I am pretty close with Kourtney. She's a year younger but she's married now and living in California." She explained, trying not to get too sad about it.

"Anyway, my husband is a big Browns fan" she said, trying to lighten the mood.

"How long have you been married?" Rachel asked.

"Two years" Brittany nodded.

"Do you guys want a big family too?"

"God no!" Brittany replied, trying not to laugh. "We'll have two, that'll be it. We weren't even planning on having our first for a couple of years but I went on antibiotics for a sinus infection and forgot to use back-up birth control, and this happened" she said, gesturing to her belly as she caught a glimpse of herself in the large mirror that hung over the fireplace. She wished she was prettier. She was okay looking, she thought. Kourtney had gotten the looks in the family, and everyone always commented on that.

"Kourtney is so beautiful" they would tell her "but you're cute too, and you've got that awesome figure". She better have an awesome figure, she thought. She'd been dancing since she was three!

"Do any of you have siblings?" Brittany asked.

Rachel and Santana were only children. Rachel had two gay dads who thought she was perfect and didn't want to take the chance of being disappointed by another one. They also thought she was a major hand-full. Santana's mother never had any other children because she was afraid of what it might do to her figure, figuring she was lucky Santana had left her relatively unharmed. Tina and Mercedes each had an older brother.

Topher had finished nursing and Santana put him over her shoulder to burp him. After a few attempts, he produced a nice burp and a small amount of spit-up and then was fast asleep in his mother's arms.

"We should get going" Tina said. "I need to figure out what's for dinner". The other ladies got up and Brittany thanked Santana for the stroller, saying that it was too much, but really she was thrilled. She was an avid reader of InStyle and UsWeekly and was always wanting whatever the latest thing the celebrities were using, but could never afford them. Of course, the Bugaboo stroller was used by almost all of them.

"Actually I was hoping you could stay" Santana said to Brittany. "I need to trim his fingernails and I'm scared I'll hurt him. I figured you would have experience in that department."

"Sure I'll stay!" Brittany said trying not to show her excitement too much, but failing miserably. She was thrilled, she hadn't made a lot of friends since moving to Ohio, and she'd seemed to find some great ones. The other ladies left and Santana guided Brittany up the grand staircase and into the most beautiful nursery she'd ever seen. Topher never slept in there, of course, Santana preferred to keep next to or even in her bed, but it looked nice.

Santana laid the baby on the changing table and handed the clippers to Brittany. "The trick is to do it while they're sleeping" the blonde explained. And he was. She took his tiny hands and clipped the nails, Topher only giving a small whimper but never actually waking up.

"See, no biggie" she said confidently. "These baby clippers make it almost impossible for the baby to get hurt." she said handing them back to Santana as she picked the baby up, inhaling his sweet scent. She couldn't wait for her own baby to get here. Brittany hung out for a little while longer, getting a tour of the amazing house before deciding that she better head home too.

"Thank you so much" Santana said, hugging her new friend, and finally getting her son back in her arms.

Brittany returned to her apartment where her dog Ducky greeted her as soon as she came through the front door. Ducky, of course was a yellow lab. She looked around her stylish apartment and entered the nursery, all decked out in a rubber ducky theme, and paid for entirely by credit cards. They'd bought it knowing that Artie was next in line for a promotion. He was the smartest person in his office, everything was going to be alright.

She'd met Artie their junior year of high school, and although she'd never admit it, they got together to make her best friend at the time jealous. She had blown Brittany off for her fuck-buddy too many times, and the one time she'd wanted to do a project with Britt, Brittany decided to choose Artie. He had been in a wheelchair since he was 8 and at first it freaked her out. He had always thought she was cute but figured he never had a chance with her. She was a cheerleader and he was a nerd who was incredibly dorky around girls. After awkwardly mentioning that he still had the use of his penis even though his legs didn't work, she wanted him to prove it to her. And he did. They had sex the first time he came over to work on their project. And they'd been together ever since. He was good to her, and he was the first guy she ever dated that made her feel special or smart. He told her she was "magic" and soon she had fallen for him. They'd gone to the same college in their home state of Illinois, and after graduating, he got a job here in Lima so she came with him. They'd gotten married two years ago and they'd kind of lost touch with all their friends back home. She was so glad to have new ones, ones that she'd have at least something in common with since they were all having babies at the same time.

She heard Artie coming home and got up to greet him, looking around the perfect little nursery for their perfect baby. "Everything is going to be perfect" she nodded before turning off the light.


	8. May: Quinn

Her flight back to Ohio had been so different from the one she took to California 11 years before. At 18 she was so hopeful, naive, and excited about her big adventure and making it in Hollywood. At 29, she was jaded, depressed, and practically a zombie, purchasing two tickets so she wouldn't run the risk of sitting next to a baby, or anyone that might recognize her and ask questions. Just last week she'd been at the grocery store when a paparazzo with a Jew-fro told her he was really sorry about her loss. She was okay with him bringing it up, she kind of expected it, at least he was being thoughtful, until he asked her what she did with all her breast-milk now that she no longer had a baby to feed. Life was so cruel. She left without taking her groceries and she and Sam had Chinese take-out again. Well, Sam had take-out, she hadn't been able to eat much since it happened. Apparently she wasn't ready to resume normal tasks like running errands, she didn't know how she could ever be.

She paid for her rental car in cash just like she had with her plane ticket, not wanting Sam to know where she was. She couldn't deal with that now. She drove on auto-pilot mode until she reached her mom's house, not even remembering the drive, but somehow she got there. The house was a fraction of the size of the house they lived in before her parents' divorce, but just as cold. It was the only place she could think of to go though, and her key still worked. She didn't know how long she laid there in the dark, time meant nothing to her anymore but finally her mom came home from her job at Sheets 'n' Things. Her mother came through the living room on her way to the kitchen, briefly glanced at the motionless figure on the couch, and moved on.

"There's Lean Cuisines in the freezer. I usually heat them up for dinner, help yourself to any of them except for the butternut squash ravioli, that's my favorite." Judy said as if Quinn was always laying on the couch in the dark when she came home. They hadn't spoken in 11 years and Quinn had been through so much and the first thing her mother says to her is "don't eat my ravioli". She wondered if her mother had any idea what she'd been through, or if she even cared. She had decided that Judy must not have known, she couldn't have been that cold. She'd never cared about movies or celebrities, and thought all those magazines were trash. No, she couldn't have known.

Quinn couldn't help but notice how old and frumpy her mom had gotten in the last 11 years. She was no longer the beautiful, perfectly made up woman from before the divorce, but Quinn had let herself go too. They heated up their lean cuisines and sat in silence, both wanting to say something but neither being able to come up with anything. Judy had asked Quinn what brought her back in town, and Quinn pretended not to hear it so Judy let it go. She tried to tell her mother what happened only to open her mouth and be rendered completely unable able to speak.

"You can stay here as long as you'd like," the mother finally said as she took her tray to the trash can.

"Mom" Quinn said, hoping to be able to say what had happened, but her words failing her again.

"Lucy, you'll always have a bed here, you're my daughter" she offered coolly. "I trust you remember which room is yours?" she said as she walked up the stairs to her own room. And that was it, after 11 years that was the extent of their first conversation. Judy had never been the warm and fuzzy type but Quinn was thankful to have a place to stay. She couldn't be back in California where all that bad stuff happened.

She relaxed a little, knowing that she'd gotten the first conversation with her mother over and that Sam wouldn't be able to find her. She'd changed her name when she moved to California so her parents couldn't find her there. She was born Lucy Frederick, and as soon as she made the move she officially changed her name to Quinn Fabray. Quinn was her middle name and she didn't know how she settled on Fabray but it worked. She'd also gotten a make-over, bleaching her mousy brown hair, perfecting her nose, plumping her lips, dropping a few pounds, getting a prescription for Accutane, and having veneers placed over her already nice teeth. As far as everyone she met in California knew, Sam included, Quinn Fabray was her real name, she was from Missouri and her parents were dead. That way he would never have to meet them. He believed her and his heart broke for her.

'Poor thing," he had said, rubbing her back. Quinn was thankful that she'd always been good at crying on cue.

She glanced over at the mirror on the vanity, still cracked from the last fight she'd had with her mom. She couldn't remember what it was about, only that she was sure her mother hated her, and Quinn said so. She threatened to go live with her dad, and Judy coldly replied that her dad didn't want them, didn't want her, and that he had left for some tattooed freak. So, she punched the mirror just hard enough that it cracked, but stayed together. Three days later she'd cashed in her baby-sitting money and was on her way to California.

Quinn fell asleep but at some point woke up to her mother standing by her bed asking what was wrong. She just rolled over and went back to sleep. Judy must have given up because the next time Quinn opened her eyes it was light outside and she was alone in the house. She put on some clothes, got in her car and drove around aimlessly until she ended up at the park her dad used to take her to as a kid, when he still cared about her. She sat there for a while, not really noticing anything until a pregnant woman walked by, pausing to stretch her back. The same pregnant woman Quinn would come to watch every day.


	9. May: Rachel

a/n: Thanks again to everyone who has read/favorited/alerted/reviewed! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Rachel and Noah Puckerman had met eight years ago. She was 25 and living in Manhattan, where she moved right after high school to try to make it on Broadway. Although she originally wanted to be an actress, she wasn't completely happy there. She quickly discovered that she was a very small fish in a very, very big pond. She was a talented actress and a very gifted singer, but was constantly told she wasn't pretty enough, so she was never given a chance. A few directors told her to come back after she'd gotten a nose job, but most just said "thanks but no thanks". She actually considered the nose job thing for a while, but she couldn't afford it, and after going to a consultation, decided it would be an insult to her Jewish heritage. If Barbra could make it with an "interesting" nose, then so could she. So she kept trying for a few more years, but eventually she ran out of money and hope. By that time, she'd given up her vegan ways, and gained quite a bit of weight, so she was having even more doors slammed in her face, based just on her appearance. So she decided to go with plan B, cooking. She had to get pretty creative on her limited income, but she had plenty of starving artist roommates to practice on, and it turned out to be another area she was insanely talented in. So, she swallowed her pride and got a job as a waitress and she never looked back.

One day while walking to the market to pick up supplies for her job at a little hole-in-the-wall diner, she noticed the "help wanted" sign in the window at Gramercy Tavern, and on a whim, she went in. They hired her, also as a waitress, but she didn't care, it was a great place to get her foot in the door. She never went back to the diner, and she felt guilty about that, but she had no future there, and Gramercy Tavern was one of the best restaurants in the city. Slowly but surely they let her do some cooking too and she was hopeful that one day she'd be promoted to head chef. She now fluctuated between a size 12 and a 14, which was a lot on her tiny 5 foot 1 inch frame, but on the nights she waited tables she made an effort. And now that she was out of the Theater world and back in the real world, she finally felt a somewhat confident, even sexy. A lot of successful young men came in the restaurant, and she wore low-cut but still dress code appropriate tops, and knew how to do her beautiful hair and make-up just right to play up her best features. She got a lot of male attention too, when she made herself up, but the first time she saw Noah, she knew he was "the one".

It was a particularly busy Wednesday night, half of the staff was out with the flu that was going around so Rachel was put in charge of two sections.

"Hello, and welcome to Gramercy Tavern. My name is Rachel and I'll be taking care of you tonight. Would you like to hear about our specials?" She rattled off before noticing the handsome man at the table. His head was shaved, which she normally didn't go for but he was so handsome it worked. He had amazing hazel eyes and full pouty lips, five-o-clock-shadow that drove her insane, and an absolutely perfect nose. She couldn't help but think how beautiful their children would be and hoped that they would get his nose. _What was she doing?_ She didn't even know this guy, he was way out of her league, and, she had noticed, was with a skinny blonde. As she described the specials, she couldn't help but notice that the man kept looking at her, smiling at her, and dare she say it? Flirting with her whenever she came over to the table.

When she asked how their food was and he said it was way better than the food he was used to getting at the hospital he worked at, that was it. He was a doctor, and he was definitely flirting with her, so she did something she'd never done before- she wrote her name and phone number on the receipt, hoping desperately that he would be the one to pay the tab. He did, of course, leaving a very generous tip, and a note that said "I'll call you- Noah Puckerman." Oh my God, he was a Jewish doctor, this could not be more perfect, she thought. That night, she giddily scribbled "Rachel Puckerman, Rachel Berry-Puckerman, Mrs. Rachel Puckerman, Dr. and Mrs. Noah Puckerman" and any other variation over three pages of notebook paper and had decided that they would live in a Brownstone with 2.5 kids and a perfect little dog.

By the time she got home from work the next day, he had left a message on her answering machine, and they began dating that night. Turns out the skinny blonde he was with was a co-worker he had lost a bet with and owed dinner, and a lesbian so she didn't have to feel guilty about that. He courted her for six weeks, taking her to nice dinners, movies, even Broadway shows, and she cooked for him too, but she was a little disappointed that they'd only gotten to second base. She was still a virgin at the time, saving herself for "the one" and now that she'd found him, she couldn't wait any longer. They had attended a birthday party for Lisa, Gramercy's bartender, and Rachel's best friend and both had way too much to drink and were making out in the corner of Lisa's living room.

"You're so hot," Rachel blurted out, "I really really like you."  
"Thanks. I like you too" Noah replied, running his fingers through her hair.

"So, your place or mine?" she said, not usually this bold, but too drunk and fed up with the slow pace of their relationship to care.

"Mine" he smirked, and guiding her out of the apartment, both offering quick good-byes before walking the 16 blocks to his apartment as neither one of them had any business driving. They hurried inside, tossing their coats on the floor and she led him to the couch where she straddled him, attacking his neck with passionate kisses.

"Rachel," he said as she peeled off her top and worked on getting his off too.

"Rachel," he repeated. "I don't think we should do this".

She froze and leaned back in her skirt and bra, feeling more self-conscious than she ever had around Noah.

"Why not?" she finally said.

"It's just that..." he started

"It's just that I'm fat." Rachel finished, grabbing her top and hurrying to get dressed and get out of there.

"No!" he replied, but it was too late, she was out the door and didn't hear him over her crying. "You're beautiful" he muttered but he was alone in his apartment.

She spent the next two months moping around, not bothering with her hair or make-up anymore and gaining an additional ten pounds. Even her cooking was suffering, but one night, he came in. She did her best to ignore him, he was sitting at the bar, so thankfully she didn't have to wait on him, but he waited for her until she was done with her shift and the restaurant was closing. Finally she got up the courage to go over to him, and he was looking just as pathetic as she was.

"Can we talk?" he pleaded.

"I'm busy" she replied curtly, "and I have to get back to my boyfriend." Which was a lie. She hadn't been on a single date since Noah, guys didn't even seem to notice her anymore since she'd kind of let her self go.

"Please" he said, sounding even more desperate.

"Fine, five minutes." She said as he led her out to his car. They sat there for what seemed like forever when he finally spoke up. "I think I'm in love with you".

"Oh whatever" she said shaking her head.

"I am, I'm in love with you, he repeated with more confidence. "You're witty, and smart..."

"and fat!" she finished.

"Would you stop" he said, touching her chin and guiding her face up to look at him. "You're beautiful".

"Right, that's why you put the brakes on us as soon as you saw me in a bra." She said looking away again.

"I have to tell you something private." he finally said.

"I'm listening" she replied.

"I had a lot of casual sex in high school and college..." he paused, and Rachel panicked. Oh God, he had an STD or something! That's why he wouldn't sleep with her. She didn't know if she could do this.

"It didn't mean anything because none of those girls meant anything, and I got someone pregnant. We were young and careless and we weren't even dating," he continued.

"You have a child?" She asked with a shaky voice.

"The mother decided to give her up for adoption," he said, sniffing and wiping a tear from his eye. "If it were up to me, we would have kept her, but it wasn't my decision. I only got to hold her once."

"Oh Noah, I'm so sorry," she said, kissing his hand. "I couldn't imagine."

"I haven't been able to do _it _ever since. I love you Rachel, you are the first person I've ever had these feelings for and I was scared, so I pushed you away. And I wanted our first time to mean something, not just to happen because we had too much to drink. You are so special, and I wanted our first time to be special."

"I have to tell you something too," she admitted, not even looking at him. "I'm, a virgin," she said quietly. "I know it's embarrassing, considering my age, but I have body image issues and I wanted it to be with the right person, and I was just never ready before..." she explained, but he cut her off.

"How did I ever find someone like you? You're so pure, and amazing, and I'm honored that you would want to be with someone like me. I love you so much," Noah said honestly.

The truth was, she was still in love with him too, more than she wanted to admit, and they sat there in his car and made out. It was at that moment that she knew without a doubt that she had made the right decision by giving up on acting and getting into cooking, because if not, she would have never met him. They had officially been back together ever since and they made love for the first time a week later. Rachel was pleasantly surprised at how large he was. Not that she had anything in real life to compare it too, only videos, but it was more satisfying that she ever imagined. And also by the fact that he looked at her with pure lust and adoration in his eyes. She made her best meal ever and then they had sex. It was surprisingly good, considering it was her first time, and it only got better.

They dated for two years while Noah finished his residency and landed a position at Lima Memorial Hospital. Rachel happily moved with him and convinced Lisa to come too. The two women drained their savings to open Savory, which proved to be a wonderful decision and things were good. Four years ago he proposed and a year later they were married in a beautiful and traditional Jewish ceremony.

"Are you awake?" Rachel asked, trying (and failing) to roll over in bed one morning. She was 32 weeks pregnant and becoming very uncomfortable. He mumbled something and she decided he was so she continued.

"There's a woman who's been watching me in the park."

"What?" Noah replied, not really believing her, and not sounding too concerned about it.

"If you don't feel well, you should stay home. I'll call Lisa if you want, tell her you won't be coming in." He said, rubbing her hip.

"No, I'm fine" Rachel assured him, taking his hand and guiding it to her belly.

"Can you feel that?" she asked excitedly.

"That's my girl!" he said proudly, and kissed his wife.


	10. June: Quinn

A/N: I loved the response I got to the last chapter, thanks so much! I hope you all enjoy this one :). Reviews make my day!

"So, Lucy, how long are you here for?" Judy finally asked one morning at the kitchen table, nine weeks after Quinn had shown up at her house. Quinn didn't say anything for a few moments, instead pushing her shredded mini wheats around with her spoon as she felt her mother's eyes staring at her intently.

"What are your plans?" Judy persisted.

"I don't know." Quinn mumbled, not even bothering to look up from her cereal.

"What do you do all day?"

At that, Quinn looked at her mother, expecting to see a severely disapproving and disgusted expression on her face but instead saw curiosity and even concern.

"Sleep" she admitted, which she did a lot of. She wasn't about to admit that she was pretty much stalking an innocent pregnant woman. She never planned to do it, and she wasn't a threat to her or anyone, but she realized that was pretty much what she was doing. Still, she couldn't stop watching her, and had left a few more gifts for her besides the silver spoon. Last week, a fuzzy white baby bath towel with ears that resembled a little lamb, and before that, some un-opened Gripe Water. Not that that had worked for Quinn's baby. Little Beth had cried pretty much all the time but that didn't stop her from buying it when she saw it at the store and leaving it on the front steps of Savory one day. Hopefully it would work for someone else's baby. She's also been working on a letter to Sam. Every day she'd start over with a fresh piece of paper that said "Dear Sam". She'd sit there forever and the only other words she could ever come up with were "I"m sorry", so she'd get frustrated and toss it out.

"Why don't you tell me what's wrong?" Judy said, touching Quinn's arm. She _never _touched her, ever.

"Something happened" Quinn managed to say, but didn't think she could go any further, she was suddenly feeling sick.

"Yes, Lucy, I figured as much. Maybe it would help if you talked about it?" She said, still gently touching Quinn's arm, and still sounding concerned. Who _was_ this woman and what had she done with Judy Frederick?

"I'm not ready, not yet." Quinn said fighting back the tears and the bile that were threatening to come up.

"Well then, whenever you're ready, I'll be here."

"Whatever, it's not like you really care" she said, giving up on trying to finish her cereal and taking her bowl to the sink.

"Oh Lucy, cut the crap, I'm your mother, of course I care!"

But Quinn wasn't exactly convinced. If Judy had stopped and hugged her, maybe gone just a little bit further than touching her arm and giving a concerned look, she might have told her. But she didn't. As soon as she was done saying how much she cared, she looked at her watch and mentioned matter-of-factly that she was going to be late for work, grabbed her keys and headed for the door. "Wear a coat if you actually leave the house today, it's unseasonably cold," she shouted, exiting the house.

Quinn sat down in the living room, her thoughts returning to the person she woke up thinking about today. For the first time in months, she woke up not thinking of Beth, but of her husband Sam. It still felt weird to think of Sam Evans as her husband, she'd known him less than two years.

They'd met at a bar that one of Quinn's friends had dragged her to, and Sam was the entertainment that night. He was a struggling country singer from Nashville who had come to Los Angeles to make it. Usually people came to Nashville from other places to make it in country music, but whatever. He was talented and despite the fact that his mouth to face ratio was like, way off, he still managed to be cute. Quinn had stood out to Sam too, from his vantage point on the stage, and when he was done he bought her a drink. They began seeing each-other that night and things were going great. Sam was genuine and kind which was hard to find in Hollywood, and treated her so well. Six months into the relationship, Quinn realized something was missing...her period.

A half hour and three pregnancy tests later, it was confirmed. Quinn was pregnant. When she finally worked up the courage to tell Sam, he wasted no time in proposing, slipping a twist-tie from a loaf of bread on her finger for the time being. A typical response to the man you love proposing would be "yes," but Quinn asked if he was sure. "You don't have to marry me just because you knocked me up, you know," she had said.

"I'm sure about you," he said offering a goofy grin. "I love you, you're the one for me, and this is just a good excuse to be your husband sooner."

Two weeks later, they flew to Vegas to get married. Quinn suggested it, since as far as he knew, she had no living family, and he was okay with it too. He didn't care about a big traditional wedding, he just wanted Quinn to be his wife, and he was traditional in one sense, he wanted his child to have two parents who were married before it arrived. Quinn spent the day finding a simple white dress, getting her hair and nails done, and Sam spent the day in the casino, only gambling small amounts though. They now had their baby's college fund to save for. Neither one of them had gone to college, but their child was going to! They met at a little white chapel at 6 o'clock that night and were married by an Elvis impersonator. It was a little cliché, but they were in Vegas after-all. Their surroundings might have been tacky, and so were the other couples around them, but Quinn looked gorgeous. She literally took his breath away when she showed up in her dress, and she'd never seen him look more handsome either. They'd chosen matching platinum bands, and they were happy. Quinn had always wanted a diamond, and Sam promised her that one day she would have a big one. But for now, this would do.

Quinn finally got up from the couch and actually showered, which didn't always happen every day anymore, but that was it. She didn't bother with her hair or make-up, just threw on the 12 year old coat her mother left for her and was on her way. She stopped by a pawn shop and sold her wedding band, adding to the nest-egg she had brought with her from Los Angeles and headed to the park with a newspaper. The pregnant woman she had been watching wouldn't be there yet, she usually went for her strolls in the mid afternoon, but this time she had a different plan. After about 15 minutes of looking, she found what she was looking for, the perfect apartment. Far enough from her mom, closer to the park, and the rent was doable. She called the number on the ad and agreed to meet the landlord there in an hour, and headed on her way. She knew it wouldn't take an hour to get there but didn't want to take any chances, and what else was she going to do?

She drove through downtown, noticing an Internet cafe on Main Street and decided to stop in. She did have an hour, after-all. She logged in to her email account for the first time in months and had over 700 new emails. Most of them were spam, offering to increase the size of her penis, or help her shed 20 pounds in 20 days...she knew how to do that, lose a child and become so consumed with grief that you're unable to eat. There were also 67 new messages from Sam, one for each day she'd been gone. She quickly deleted all of them without reading, except for the most recent one. It was a very kind email, she wouldn't have expected anything less from Sam. He didn't try to find out where she was, he just wanted to know that she was safe, and that she knew he was thinking about her all the time, and that he didn't blame her for what happened. He even ended the email with an "I love you". On a whim, Quinn hit "reply". She sent a message that said "I'm safe" and that was it. She logged off the computer and headed to the apartment.

It was old, but it had lots of charm and a nice view of the park, and it would do. She went to the big window and looked down at the sidewalk below. She saw a cute Asian couple stop right on the spot, the woman grabbed the man's hand and placed it on her very pregnant belly. Even from eight floors up, she could see that they were deliriously happy and she felt sick again. That was her and Sam just a few months ago. She grabbed the window frame for support and the landlord came up behind her, noticing that something was wrong. He told her she should sit down but she assured him that she was fine, that heights just made her a little nervous. The apartment was empty anyway, the only place to sit was the floor, and she'd gotten so weak from depression, lack of food, and lack of exercise that she knew getting off the floor would be a problem.

"What do you think?" the landlord asked.

"It's nice, I'll take it." She replied. She filled out some paperwork, with her real name, he ran a quick credit check, and said that the apartment was hers. He explained that he needed a security deposit and the first month's rent, and she reached in the diaper bag, pulled out a huge wad of cash, and started counting.

"You don't have a check?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"No, I was hoping to pay in cash. Don't worry, I'm not a prostitute or anything," she said with a nervous laugh.

"It's fine," he assured, "let me just write out a receipt."

He did, and handed over the keys. Quinn removed her coat, laid down on the empty floor, and closed her eyes. She hadn't had her morning nap yet, and she was exhausted. Soon she fell asleep, and she had the same dream she'd had every time she closed her eyes since it happened. She'd wake up in bed to the sound of a baby crying, make her way down the impossibly long hallway, and half-way down, the sound of the crying would change. It started to sound more and more like a cat meowing until that's exactly what it became. She'd push on to the nursery and get to the crib where she would indeed find a cat. She'd reach out to it and the cat would hiss, and then Quinn would wake up drenched in sweat.


	11. June: Santana

a/n: I've updated both of my stories today, I'm on a roll...we can thank my insomnia for that! Thanks again for reviews, alerts, etc. Keep them coming, they make my day!

"Please stay" Santana said, playing with one of Christopher's soft curls as she watched Finn get ready to leave. "Please" she repeated, looking up at her husband. In Christopher's nearly six weeks of life, he'd rarely been out of his mother's arms, she usually only put him down when she was showering or something. She rarely even shared him with Finn, her baby seemed so small and fragile to her and she was determined to do everything right when it came to parenting.

"I wish I could Baby," he replied "But I promised the people at Dr. Pepper I'd do this more than a year ago, it wouldn't be right to back out". He was going to Dallas, again, and Santana had a sickening feeling about it. The last time he'd gone to Dallas, he'd returned the day Topher was born smelling like someone else's perfume. There had been a lot of trips to Dallas in the last few months and Santana knew about his contract with Dr. Pepper, but she still didn't like it. It wasn't like they were hurting for money, and she needed him at home.

Santana knew how pathetic she sounded, practically begging her husband to stay home but she didn't care. She had changed quite a bit since they first met five and a half years ago. She was fiercely independent then, that was actually one of the things that attracted Finn to her most, besides her beauty. He was used to women throwing themselves at him constantly, and she was the first woman he'd ever met that made him work for it. Ever since she'd gotten pregnant and things seemed to change, she'd become insecure for the first time ever. She was only 26, so she couldn't have been past her prime yet. She thought she still looked okay, she'd lost all of her baby weight, although her body may not have been as firm as it was before the baby, and she wasn't getting much sleep. Topher was still waking up several times a night, and for obvious reasons she was the only person that could give him what he needed most of the time. But she still did her hair and make-up every day, usually with Topher sleeping in a sling strapped to her chest, and thanks to eye creams and moisturizers that she applied religiously, she thought she looked a lot less tired than she felt. But maybe not, and maybe she really couldn't blame him. Her pregnancy was pretty uneventful, except she was never in the mood, and didn't really want to be touched. She hadn't been cleared for sex yet, but she still wasn't really up for anything in that department, she was exhausted, her breasts were sore, and Topher cried a lot. He wasn't particularly fussy or colicky, but considering the fact that he couldn't talk, he had to express himself somehow and Finn had never spent much time around babies before, so it probably annoyed him.

"I can stay if you really want me to" he offered, although she knew he probably didn't mean it.

"No, you should go. I know you need to keep your commitments" she said, but if she was being honest, she didn't mean it either. What about his commitments to his wife? And why did it have to be Dallas again? She knew he took his work seriously and he was a consummate professional, but why did he have to be so damn happy about it? She swore she could almost see him skipping at the thought of a week away.

In the pre-baby days when they were living in North Carolina, she didn't mind all the traveling he did. She even went with him most of the time, but now she couldn't. Topher was too young to go, and leaving him wasn't an option. It wouldn't be, even if she wasn't his food source, the thought of being away from him at all was unbearable at this point. Even when he left her home alone then, she was fine. She was secure in herself then, and their marriage had been perfect, and could find plenty of things to keep herself occupied. Finn was always trying to make sure their family was secure since growing up, his mother was single and always struggling, and Santana respected that, but she didn't think they'd ever struggle financially, and was beginning to resent it.

"You know I hate leaving you by yourselves" he said, bending down to kiss her on the forehead, just like her father had when she was a child. "Why don't you call your yoga friends? Have a girl's night, or go shopping or to a spa?"

"I just really wish you didn't have to go right now" she said, this time with tears in her eyes, which surprised both of them and made Finn feel really bad.

"Awww, baby" he said, pulling her into a hug, being careful not to squish their infant son, and he just let her cry. "Chin up, I'll be back before you know it. And I meant it about having the girls over."

"I'm sorry" she said, wiping her eyes. "I'll be fine, we'll be fine".

Her independent streak developed from her childhood. She was just seven when her father disappeared one day. It seemed out of nowhere to her, and she was devastated. Her mother told her to keep her chin up, just like Finn was doing now, and said that they would be fine. By her eighth Christmas, her mother had left her with the nanny over Christmas so she could fly to Paris with her boyfriend at the time. She never admitted it to her mother, but she sent the nanny home that year. She had her own family and Santana felt bad for her, thinking that she deserved to be with them on Christmas. So she ordered pizza and watched "It's a Wonderful Life" by herself. Now, nearly 20 years later, she was reminded of that. Although she didn't think she had the strength she had then, and being a mom, it broke her heart to think that someone could leave their child around the holidays. She knew that there would be a lot of time apart when she married Finn, she just didn't think it would bother her this much.

"Okay, I have to get going. Have fun!" He said, bending down to kiss his wife, on the lips this time. "Be good to your mama, little man" he said, kissing Topher's head. He was always good to her, Santana thought her son was perfect. She brought him to her shoulder and inhaled his sweet baby scent. _He'll take care of me_, she thought.


	12. June: Rachel

a/n: once again, everyone reading, alerting, favoriting, and reviewing is amazing! Hope you enjoy this chapter! Something is wrong with my microsoft word, so I wrote this on "notepad". Sorry if there are any mistakes!

"Sorry I'm late," Rachel whispered, joining Brittany, Tina, and Mercedes at the conference room at Lima Memorial Hospital for the "Parenting 101" class. "Restaurant emergency, we ran out of tots", she explained, causing Mercedes' eyes to get wide. "It's okay" she assured, "I went and got some." Just then Holly Holiday appeared, carrying a box of plastic baby dolls, and the pregnant women wondered if she was the only teacher of any kind in Lima.

"Okay so babies...they're just like dolls only real!" She started, handing each of the pregnant women a doll.

"oooh, I got a black one!" Brittany exclaimed, a little too loud, causing Mercedes and the fifteen or so other women in the class to turn and look at her.

"Artie will be so thrilled" Rachel whispered, smiling at her as Mercedes traded her blonde doll for Brittany's.

"They don't have any Asian ones," Tina said, "Mike would be disappointed!"

Holly started, explaining some of the things they might expect during childbirth, complete with a performance of Salt-n-Pepa's "Push It", then moved onto caring for a circumcised penis and umbilical cord stumps, breastfeeding basics, swaddling, bathing, mixing formula, and changing diapers.

After two very long hours, and many bathroom breaks, they left and met Santana and baby Topher at The Lima Bean. They all got herbal teas, decaf coffee, or hot chocolate. It wasn't the same as regular coffee but it was something.

"He just keeps getting cuter and cuter" Mercedes gushed

"I know, I just want to squish his little face and then eat him up!" Brittany added

"Please don't" Santana laughed, "I kind of like him."

"He really is beautiful" Tina cried, "I can't wait until mine is here. God, when do the baby hormones go away? This is ridiculous!"

"Topher is nearly two months old and I'm still emotional" Santana explained. "He slept four hours in a row the other night, and I cried because I thought he wasn't a newborn and didn't need me anymore. He still wakes up every two to three hours most nights though. It's really pathetic but I miss him so much when he's sleeping. You'll see!" She started to get a little teary-eyed too but quickly composed herself.  
"So how did y'all get pregnant?" Santana drawled, changing the subject.

"Well you see, when a man and a woman love each other..." Rachel started, and Santana playfully smacked her arm with her free hand.

"I mean, how long did it take? Did you have symptoms right away?" She explained. "I don't mean to brag but it was pretty easy for us. I went off the pill, and we were going to wait the recommended three months before we started trying, but Finn didn't always use a condom so it happened that first month. I never had any morning sickness or anything. My periods have always been regular, so when I was a day late, I just knew. I feel very fortunate" she said, smoothing Topher's hair.

"You are fortunate" Mercedes nodded. "I have poly-cystic ovarian syndrome so it took us almost a year with artificial insemination and then Clomid and IVF. I was so terrified I'd end up with multiples that I prayed the other embryos wouldn't develop into anything. I know that's terrible. I have had a little bit of morning sickness. I never actually threw up, I've just been a little queasy and the only thing that ever sounds good to me is tots. I have just felt fat most of the time, and my doctor constantly gives me a hard time about my weight. People couldn't tell I was pregnant for the longest time and now they ask me if I'm having multiples! It's frustrating."

"I actually wanted twins" Brittany confessed. "We only want two kids, and I was kind of...scatterbrained when I was younger, so I've taught myself to be very organized and disciplined to deal with it. So, we were hoping whenever I got pregnant, we could have two at once; I could take the first year off, and then go back to work. Actually though, that wasn't even supposed to happen until I was thirty. I think I told you guys that I went on antibiotics and that's when I got pregnant. I had severe morning sickness in the beginning, I was even hospitalized for dehydration once and then put on bed rest for the remainder of my first trimester, but things have been fine ever since."

"I get pregnant really easily. This is actually my fourth pregnancy, and each time it happened on the first try, but I've had three previous miscarriages". Tina explained sadly, as Rachel squeezed her hand. "Things have been really good this time, too good almost. I thought it was a bad sign that I never got any morning sickness and I've felt fine until the last few weeks. Now I'm just tired and swollen. I feel so fortunate though, but it's kind of like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"Everything will be fine, I'm sure of it. You're so close now," Rachel assured. "I guess I'm about average. It took us six months of actively trying to get pregnant. It felt like forever though. Just when we were going to see a fertility specialist, I got pregnant. I've felt pretty good too, just fat! People ask me if I'm having multiples too, Mercedes, so I can relate on that! And my stretch marks are horrible; my belly looks like some animal attacked it with its claws". She looked around to make sure they were still alone in the coffee shop, and lifted her shirt a little to show her friends. Soon all the pregnant women were comparing stretch marks.

"Let's see yours, Santana, have they faded at all?" Brittany asked.

"I actually never got any" Santana blushed, not really knowing why she felt guilty about that. She figured she just had good genes, plus Finn regularly rubbed her down with cocoa butter, and she got frequent prenatal massages. Still, she shifted Topher slightly in her arms and lifted her shirt.

"You bitch!" Rachel joked, "You look like you never had a baby! Finn's a lucky guy. Noah says he still finds me sexy but I don't see how!" This made Santana feel slightly uncomfortable, since she had recently become insecure about her marriage, but she wasn't ready for her new friends to know that.

"Yeah," she sighed, hoping her insecurity wouldn't show.

Just then the bell signaled that another customer and joined them, and Rachel saw her out of the corner of her eye. When she got up to the counter to order, Rachel leaned closer to her friends.

"Okay, don't look now, but that woman at the counter..." She started, and they were all listening but Brittany decided to turn around and look.  
"Brittany, I said don't look now!" She hissed quietly.

"Sorry" the blonde said blushing.

The other women casually took turns glancing over that way.

"Do you know her?" Santana asked.

"No, but I keep seeing her everywhere!" Rachel said. "She looks like a zombie" Brittany commented, just as the woman at the counter turned and looked at them. Brittany was right, Rachel decided. She did look like a zombie. The lost looking woman headed toward them, and they all kind of froze. They weren't scared of her or anything, she looked harmless, they were just worried that she had heard them talking about her. "Your baby is so good, so quiet." She commented to Santana. "Yes. Yes, he is" she replied cautiously. The woman was about to say something else, but then her eyes became glassy, and she turned around and quickly left.

"Guys, I think my water broke!"

a/n: so another one of the babies is coming! Whose will it be?


	13. June: Tina

/N: To: Hii: I don't think that was a false fact in my last chapter. I know a decent amount about childbirth, and some women do have their water breaking as their first sign of labor, with no contractions before. It's more like 10-15% than .5% ….even if it was .5% it could still happen that way. I even know quite a few women who have had it happen that way. If you read my other chapters, you will know that Santana had contractions long before her water broke. Since I have to write about five births, I wanted to make each one a little different. Anyways, thanks for the reviews, and on with the chapter!

"Guys, I think my water broke!" Tina announced. Everyone was still kind of thinking about the strange behavior of the sad woman that had just left the coffee shop, but the always calm Rachel Puckerman jumped into action. "Jumped" might not have been the most accurate term, being as pregnant as she was, she maneuvered herself out of her chair and motioned for Santana and Brittany to help Tina up. Santana was probably the most weirded out, this woman had approached her and gotten close to her baby. Nothing had happened and the woman was probably completely harmless but Santana was a mother now, and she was very protective. She stood up too and pulled herself together, giving Topher another kiss and a reassuring pat on his diaper-clad bottom. He was fine though, he had no idea what was going on.

Tina, of course, apologized profusely to the staff at the Lima Bean for getting the chair wet, and assured them that she would pay to have it cleaned. Fortunately, it was a vinyl chair, and it wasn't a major gush of fluids, not like what Santana experienced.

"I"ll drive you home Tina, Topher has to be in his carseat anyway", Santana volunteered, "y'all can just follow us there".

Most of them thought Tina was crazy for wanting to give birth at home, but were supportive. Rachel thought it was wonderful, and was even a bit jealous that Tina's husband was okay with her doing that. Tina was just grateful that her birthing tub had arrived the week before, and Kurt had just put the finishing touches on the nursery. It was perfect.

Once they got Tina in the house, Mercedes called the dance studio to let Mike know Tina was in labor. Fortunately he was in his office doing paperwork, so she was able to get him right away, and he found subs for his classes the rest of the day.

"Mike says he should be here in about 30 minutes" Mercedes announced. "What else can we do for you?"

Tina really wasn't sure what she thought they should do, but this was intense. She thought things were happening a lot faster her for than they were for Santana, but she wasn't really sure. Maybe Santana was tougher than she looked, but Tina's water had just broken and already the contractions felt like they were ripping her apart. She thought it was already bad enough that she wouldn't be able to play "Angry Birds".

"Let's just time my contractions for a little while and see where we stand." Tina suggested, trying to sound calm. "The stop-watch is on the night stand in the master bedroom which is the last door on the right" she explained, and Santana went to get it.

She was just about to start timing them for her when she came back, but Christopher chose that time to start crying. He rarely did that unless he was hungry, so Santana realized it had been a few hours and knew that that was it.

"Can you time them? I need to nurse him," she said handing the stopwatch to Rachel, and heading to the spare bedroom for privacy since Mike would be home soon, and Topher refused to be covered up while nursing, preferring to look at Santana and play with her hair. When she returned to the living room forty-five minutes later, Mike was there and, Rachel announced that Tina's contractions were two minutes apart. Santana knew from experience that Tina was getting close. "Maybe we should call the midwife?" she suggested, joining them on the couch.

"Yeah, that's a good idea", Tina said, reaching for her phone. She did her best to speak to the midwife in between contractions, and it was difficult. She was discouraged when the midwife implied that she was overreacting and that she couldn't possibly be that close since her water had only broken less than two hours before. So she hung up.

"We should probably go, now, Mike is here and you probably want to be alone." Mercedes said, getting up from the couch.

"You ladies can stay," Mike offered, "Tina would probably like the support," and Tina nodded, perhaps a little too enthusiastically.

"Yeah, I mean the midwife said it could be hours," she cried.

"I can stay until the midwife gets here" Brittany offered, and and the other women all said that they could too.

They spent the next two hours taking turns walking around with Tina, rubbing her back, and having her sit on the birthing ball.

"I need to push" she announced confidently.

"Are you sure?" Mike asked, "the midwife said..."

"I'm sure, I need to push. Call the midwife and tell her I'm getting in the birthing tub and having this baby with or without her!"

The women started to fill the birthing tub while Mike helped Tina change into a loose dress for privacy, and Rachel called the midwife and insisted she come over. They helped her into the tub just a few minutes before the midwife got there, and though she couldn't believe it, she examined Tina and announced that she was indeed, fully dilated and ready to push.

"Most first time moms don't move this fast" she had said. "Most second time moms don't even move this fast!" But Tina had known, she figured she was ready to push even sooner but no one believed her, she she kept laboring.

"We'll get out of your way now" Santana said, but Tina insisted that they all stay, saying they might as well because the midwife could see the baby's head when she pushed. Less than twenty minutes later Lily Mingmei Chang was born peacefully at home. "Lily" was the only girl's name they could agree on. Tina refused to give her child an Asian first name, and was able to convince Mike that Lily sounded somewhat Asian, and agreed to let him give the baby an Asian middle name. Tina explained that she hated her Korean "real name" and always went by Tina instead, and Mike had joked that she was a "self hatin' Asian" but he went with it. Lily means beautiful and pure, and Mingmei means smart and beautiful. Although Lily was just born, her parents thought she certainly lived up to the "beautiful" part, and they knew she'd be smart.

They helped Tina get into the couch, and the family bonded while the new mother's friends quietly left to give them some alone time. It was a really beautiful experience, and unlike after seeing Santana in labor, they now couldn't wait to go through it themselves. Yes it was painful, but if Tina could do it at home, they knew they would all be fine. Rachel was still a bit jealous because she wanted to give birth at home and wouldn't be able to, and Mercedes and Brittany still definitely wanted to give birth in the hospital. But they all thought it was amazing.

"I love my girls so much" Mike said, kissing his wife and then his daughter on the head. "We love you too!" Tina replied, crying.


	14. June: Brittany

a/n: I love reviews :)

Brittany felt like she could do anything at that moment. She was sitting in perfectly organized office of her up-town high rise apartment, talking to a very wealthy new client and taking diligent notes while her baby kicked enthusiastically and Ducky wagged his tail happily at her feet. This was going to be the wedding of the year, well for Ohio standards, it wouldn't be like Will and Kate's, and she had the privilege of helping with it.

"So, you want white linens, white roses, white lilies, white calla lilies, white hydrangeas, and white orchids, white unscented candles in Swarovski crystal candle holders, and you want to ride away in a vintage white Rolls Royce?" She asked.

"And I know having all white food may not be realistic, so we'll have to think about the menu. I just don't want anything that'll stain, or be too bright," the bride, Lindsey replied.

"We'll come up with a wonderful chicken and rice dish, and some kind of vegetable. Maybe white asparagus? I have a good friend who is a chef so we'll see what she thinks," Brittany suggested, feeling very proud of herself. One thing she didn't admit to anyone these days is that she really struggled in school. She had some learning disabilities, and was barely passing when she met Artie her Junior year. He was brilliant though, and helped her come up with alternative learning methods, and taught her organization so nothing ever got out of control. It worked, and although when they graduated, her grades weren't good enough to go to the same university he attended, she went to a nearby community college, and after two years, and lots of work, her grades were good enough that she was accepted. It wasn't a particularly prestigious university, Artie could have gone to a much better one, but it was still a university, and they were hopeful that Brittany would be able to attend it with him at some point.

They spent the next twenty minutes ironing out the rest of the details, and everything was going great.

"So when can we get together to see what you've come up with?" Lindsey asked.

"Actually, you're going to be primarily working with one of my co-workers. I'm pregnant and starting my maternity leave tonight. I'm taking a whole year off! But don't worry, she's one of our best, I just got started with you because she's off this week," she explained.

"That's a shame," Lindsey sighed. "I mean, congratulations, that's great! I'm thrilled for you. We just got along so great over the phone, but if you say this other woman is great, I'm sure she is. Anyway, I won't keep you. Good luck!"

"Thanks" she replied, as she hung up and typed the details they'd discussed in an email and sent them to the co-worker Lindsey would be working with. When she finished, she closed her eyes, relishing the feeling of her son moving around inside her. She was so lucky, she thought. She couldn't wait to meet him.

"Hey," said a sad voice, interrupting her from her peaceful moment. It scared her and she stood up, accidentally stepping on Ducky's paw in the process, causing him to yelp.

"Artie! You scared me!" She yelled, petting Ducky and letting him know how sorry she was. Thankfully, he was okay, just scared. "What are you doing home?"

He sat there motionless, slumped over and looking so small in his wheelchair. His hair was messy, his glasses crooked, and he looked like he had been crying. Then he looked down and mumbled something she couldn't quite make out.

"What?" she asked, a little more harshly than she had intended. She just knew that whatever he was about to tell her was not going to be good and she wished he would come out with it already.

"I'm sorry, Artie. I didn't hear you," she said, correcting her tone, figuring that whatever it was was going to be hard for him to say too.

"What happened?" She asked, having never seen him look this way. He may have been in a wheelchair, and some of the meaner kids in school had made fun of him, calling him "four eyes" and a "cripple" but Brittany never saw him as handicapped. She'd always seen him as strong, and normal, and smart, and put together, and capable, but not now. Now he looked small, weak, and defeated.

"I've been laid off," he said quietly. "I made a minor mistake, and with the economy they decided to down-size and I was one of the first to go" he tried to explain.

"You got fired?" she cried.

"Laid off," he assured, but to her there wasn't really a difference. She was devastated.

"You've got to be kidding me!" She said, becoming more upset.

"I wish I was baby. They let me and about fifteen others go. Even Steve, the Regional Vice President was let go, for someone who is younger and will work for less..."

But Brittany didn't care about Steve, or the other people that had been laid off in that moment. Only Artie, herself, and their little family. How were they going to get by? Their apartment was nice, but it was mostly unfurnished, they had car payments, and a mortgage, and all the things they would still need for their son.

"Don't they know I'm pregnant?" she practically shouted.

"Yes they do, that's why they're giving me three months' severance instead of two" he explained, trying to calm her down, but it wasn't working.

"Do we still have health insurance?" she asked, afraid to know the answer.

"I can buy private insurance. Don't worry about that."

She calmed down, taking a deep breath before she hyperventilated. "How could they do this to you, to us? What happened? What did you do?" She asked, she said the last part quietly, but Artie still heard.

"I just screwed up, okay. I didn't mean to, but it happened. I guess I'm having trouble focusing, being both excited and worried about the baby. About how I'll be as a father, you know, with my wheelchair and all."

Brittany felt sorry for him, she did. But she was also so mad that this could happen right now. She didn't deserve this, and her son definitely didn't deserve this.

"What are we going to do?" She asked, thinking of the deal they'd made long before she was pregnant, before they were married even. She was going to take a year off whenever she had a baby and be a stay-at-home mom, and Artie would work and support them. That was what they both believed was ideal. Artie just rolled away and grabbed Ducky's leash.

"I'm going to take Ducky for a walk, that's what I'm going to do right now," he shrugged.

_You've got to be fucking kidding me. _She thought. And she really wished he was. That this was all some elaborate April Fool's joke and he was going to turn around and say he was kidding about losing the job and kidding that at this moment he was going to take the damn dog for a walk. But it was June, and Artie had never really played jokes on her to begin with. Brittany still sometimes had a hard time distinguishing when people were joking and when they were serious, so Artie never did that to her unless he was extremely obvious about it.

So he and Ducky left and she robotically went about making dinner. They didn't return until two hours later, and by that time, dinner was cold. Brittany picked at her plate, not really hungry, but knowing she had to eat for the baby. They sat there in relative silence until Artie finally spoke up.

"Brittany, honey, say something." He urged.

"What do you want me to say? That everything is okay? That I'm about to have a baby and my husband doesn't have a job, but it's okay?" She cried, and he just looked at her, feeling really guilty. "I'm going to bed" she announced. It may have only been seven o'clock and she hadn't eaten much dinner but she just wanted to escape.

She turned around, suddenly feeling guilty too. She knew it was just as hard on him as it was on her, and he didn't need any grief from her. She did mean to talk to him about his worries and insecurities about being a disabled father, but she couldn't right now."Hey, these things happen, and I'm sorry, but it's going to be okay," she reassured, touching his shoulder, unable to be any more affectionate then that. Then she headed out of the empty living room, past the perfectly decorated nursery, and the perfectly organized office, and into the master bedroom. This wasn't supposed to happen, things were so good when they bought this apartment, they were going to nice restaurants, and on nice vacations. They both made such good livings and they were supposed to have it all. "Why?" she cried as she buried her head in her pillow.


	15. July: Santana

A/N: I'm sick and can't sleep, so you y'all get another chapter! Yay! Reviews= love :)

While it was true that little Christopher Hudson rarely cried, there was a reason for that. Attachment Parenting. At three months old, he had still rarely been out of his mother's arms, or her sling, or her bed. That usually kept him satisfied, but when he did start crying, the only thing that ever seemed to help was nursing. He would nurse for hours on end if Santana let him, and usually she did. From what she had read in her "Bible", the baby book by Dr. Sears that she always kept handy, Topher was most likely full after thirty minutes or so and just using her as a pacifier beyond that. She didn't mind, she loved her son more than anything, and she wanted to do the best she could by him, but she was so damn tired. She kept him next to her in bed at night so he would feel secure, and so that it would make the night feedings easier, but he was still waking up every two hours, and when he would go back to sleep, she'd lay awake longer than she needed to, counting his breaths and marveling at his beauty.

"My boy isn't beautiful, he's handsome and studly. You're going to confuse him. There's only one beautiful person in this family, and that's you," Finn would say giving her a kiss, but she wasn't so sure these days. If she was so beautiful, why was he leaving all the time? This time it was some kind of business meeting, she couldn't remember what for. With her fatigue and constant fussing over her son, she couldn't always keep track of what Finn had going on. "I'm sorry I have to go, but I promised. I'll be back in time for dinner" he assured. "I love you," he added, flashing his dimples. Dimples, Santana had discovered, that their son had inherited, and it made her sad that Finn wasn't around to see many of his smiles.

Santana just sighed, remembering the perfume that she smelled when Finn arrived to the hospital, late, the day Topher was born. Though it was faint, it was one of the Ralph Lauren ones, she could tell. She didn't even know anyone who wore Ralph Lauren since she was out of college, and she wondered exactly how old this "girl" was, and what she had to offer that Santana didn't. It couldn't be perkier breasts, Santana may be a mother now, but thanks to the silicone she had implanted, she was still definitely very perky. She didn't have wrinkles yet, or stretch marks, and her classically beautiful features were all still there. But every time he went away, all she could think about was that perfume. She'd tried to ask him about it, but every time, she'd backed down, and the words never came out. Once she asked him, and he admitted it, she couldn't hide from it anymore. She'd be one of those pathetic women who stayed with a man who was disrespectful and obviously wanted something else. Or worse, she could leave him and force her son to grow up in a broken home. So, instead of confronting him, she pushed her fears aside and raised one of Topher's chubby little arms. "Wave bye-bye to Daddy!" she said sweetly, planting a kiss on the side of his head.

Finn left, and Topher was miraculously still sleeping, so Santana took the opportunity to crawl back into bed with him. She guessed it was an hour later when the phone woke both of them up, causing Topher to start crying again. She figured it was Tina, she'd been calling a lot lately to ask Santana parenting questions, or just to keep herself from going crazy. Lily was less than two weeks old, but Tina was more than ready to leave the house, or get some kind of adult interaction. Her mother-in-law insisted that she stay at home, primarily in bed for one month following the birth of her child. Some Chinese tradition, and she hated it. Whenever the older woman left the room, Tina would call or text her friends about the weird things she was making her consume, like chicken feet salad, and tea made out of panda hair. Apparently they were supposed to help her heal, but she thought they were disgusting. Why couldn't she just have a normal salad that didn't have chicken feet in it?

Santana grabbed the phone and looked at the caller I.D. And to her surprise it was not Tina this time, but her own mother. "I hear that sweet boy!" Cece announced, and Santana rolled her eyes at her mother's sarcastic tone. He was a baby, what did she expect?

"Hello mother."

"Hello, my darling. How are you?"

"Just fine," Santana said as Topher wailed in the background.

But Cece was not convinced. "That doesn't sound like a happy baby," she had said.

"He's just a little cranky," Santana explained "_something_ startled him". Topher started to cry even louder so Santana laid him down on the bed and unhooked her bra with her free hand before lifting him back up and latching him onto her breast. His wailing stopped immediately, and Cece noticed. "Well that sounds better. Did he figure out that crying wasn't going to get him anywhere?" She asked. "No mother, I'm feeding him" Santana explained, trying to remain calm. "Why is he hungry at 10 am, didn't he have breakfast? When you were three months old, we had you on a strict schedule. Carmen fed you every four hours and you hardly ever cried," Cece bragged. Carmen was the nanny Cece had pawned Santana off on at six weeks old so she could get back to her modeling and busy social life. Santana wondered how her mother knew if she hardly ever cried since she was never around, but didn't ask.

"Are you using the book I sent? Doesn't it say anything about how to stop the crying?"

"Yes mother, and we're working on it," Santana said. Clearly Cece didn't know anything about the book, and just picked sent it off blindly because someone "important" recommended it. It didn't say anything about denying your child what it wanted, or putting a newborn on a strict schedule. Instead it stressed the importance of baby wearing, co-sleeping, and nursing on demand, but she wasn't going to get into that with her.

"You should let Finn give him his bottle, or the nanny. You need your rest Mija, and Christopher needs to learn independence."

That was it, Santana was officially annoyed. They had been over this many times. "Christopher doesn't get bottles, mother. I'm breastfeeding. And he doesn't have a nanny, he has his mommy." She wasn't even going to touch the "independence" bullshit.

Cece would have known that Santana was breastfeeding and that she didn't have a nanny if she had spent more than three hours with him. She and Santana's step-father flew in from their beach house in North Carolina when they had Topher baptized at 6 weeks old. She held him as if he was some type of explosive when Santana placed him in her arms and seemed more concerned about him drooling on her Chanel suit than anything else. Santana's friends had rescued her from holding her grandson after a few minutes because they couldn't get enough of him, and that was fine with her. That next morning, they flew back to North Carolina, explaining that she had some kind of cosmetic procedure she had to get back for. They left her with an entire suitcase full of expensive baby clothes and toys, figuring that that would make up for the lack of quality time.

"Well maybe you should switch to bottles then, before he gets too attached to the boobie. You don't want to have to visit his kindergarten someday so you can give him his lunch!"

"Mother, he is three months old. That's how babies are supposed to eat, and I'm confident he'll be on table food long before he starts school...anyways, I should go," she announced before she said things to her mother that she would regret.

"Of course, darling, take good care of that sweet baby!"

"Bye grandma!" Santana added, knowing that would really annoy her mother. She hung up the phone and looked down at Topher who was still contentedly eating.

"Okay sweetheart, mealtime is over, you had your breakfast," she tried in a loving but firm tone while attempting to gently pull him off. Topher just looked at her and continued nursing, so she let him. He was her baby and he didn't need to be on a schedule yet. He needed to know that he was loved and that his needs were met. By the time he was done it was close to 11 and Santana realized that she was hungry and hadn't even gotten a chance to brush her teeth yet. That was fine too, she supposed. She was a mother now, and her child came first.

"Okay, tummy time!" Santana cheerfully announced, remembering that Rachel had told her that the baby should never go to sleep after a feeding and that tummy time was important for muscle development. She laid him down on a blanket and placed a mirror in front of him while she waved a fuzzy periwinkle elephant in his face. Finn hated that toy and always tried to hide it, saying that it was "girly" and that Topher was going to turn into a sissy, but Santana always found it and brought it out. He had lots of baby appropriate toys that Finn thought were "girly", so every chance he got, he would buy squishy, fuzzy footballs, even basketballs, or trucks, so their son would have "manly" toys. Santana tried, but Topher was just not having any part of "tummy time" so she gave up. "Awww, you don't like this, do you? It's okay, mommy's going to take you for a walk" she soothed as she carried him into the bathroom and settled in for a quick bath with him.

She got them both washed, and brushed her teeth, scrunched some mousse into her hair so that it fell into soft curls and looked okay when it air dried, applied just enough make-up in case someone photographed her, grabbed a cereal bar, and they were on their way.

"This sucks! I am so sick of being pregnant," Brittany whined 30 minutes later as she waddled along the trail at the park with Rachel, Mercedes, their bellies, Santana, and baby Topher.

"Preach! I am so over it" Mercedes said, nodding in agreement. "Santana and Tina are so lucky they're done with it."

"You both need to be patient" Rachel said, rubbing her belly.

"I have been patient. But I'm 38 weeks, and that's considered full term so why can't they induce me? Topher was born at 36 weeks and he's fine. My baby has been cooking for two weeks longer than that!" The blonde continued, and Santana noticed how miserable she looked. She was swollen, all signs that she used to be a dancer had disappeared, she was pale, and her eyes were puffy. Santana wondered if she would have looked like that if she made it to full term. She wouldn't have minded, to give Christopher more time to develop, she was just thankful that he was perfectly fine.

"Babies come on their own time, they know when they're ready," Rachel said "What's the big hurry?" Rachel had gotten huge too, so had Mercedes, and Santana could kind of see how some people asked if they were having multiples. Rachel still had her glow though and looked decidedly less miserable than the other two. "You just need to relax," Rachel said as she paused when a mild contraction hit. It wasn't labor yet, she just had some small, irregular contractions that were noticeable but not anything to get excited about.

Rachel seemed to always be calm, and she wanted her labor to be as calm and natural as possible. She didn't want drugs, or any interventions that weren't medically necessary. She wanted to give birth at home, but that wasn't an option according to Noah so she was just going to wait at home as long as she could before going into the hospital. Brittany and Mercedes wanted as much intervention as possible! They wanted all the drugs they could get, preferably before labor even started, and Mercedes admitted that she wanted a c-section but her doctor wouldn't schedule one "just because". He told her that there was no medical reason for her to not attempt labor, and she was very disappointed to hear that. Rachel was nice, and she loved her friends, but she could be judgmental. So, held back. Instead of ranting about how bad and overdone unnecessary c-sections are, she calmly explained that women had been having natural labors for thousands of years. Without doctors, without epidurals, without c-sections.

They continued on their stroll and Santana saw Brittany out of the corner of her eye and started cracking up. She was marching, lifting her knees as high as her belly would let her and waving her arms like a crazy person. "What in God's name are you doing?" She asked.

"If this baby won't come out on his own, I'm going to walk him out!" Brittany explained, as if it made perfect sense. "This is ridiculous! Do you know I'm so miserable that I almost seduced Artie last night just to get the show on the road?"

"Oh no," Rachel laughed, "not sex!"

Brittany looked up at her with a shocked expression. "You mean you're actually having sex?"

"Well sometimes," she blushed "when there's nothing else to do. And have you seen my husband? He's hot! You know, ladies, the first pregnancy usually goes past the due date, and it's fine. I just turned forty one weeks and I'm not complaining! And a c-section is major surgery, there are risks you know: blood loss, infection, lung problems in the baby..."

"Are we done yet?" Mercedes asked, not wanting to hear the rest of the natural childbirth sermon.

"One more lap," Brittany decided, doing her best to take even bigger steps. "How are things with Christopher?"

"Amazing," Santana replied automatically, and they were, for the most part. She loved him more than she ever thought possible, but babies were a lot more work than she thought they'd be. She thought he would sleep all the time, smile, look cute, and eat a few times a day. Wrong! Every time she set him down, he would cry, he never slept for more than two hours at a time, and he was way more attached to her her boobs than she thought he would be. As demanding as he was, she missed him so much it hurt when he was sleeping. Which sounded crazy but it was true, and her bladder control was somewhat questionable these days. But no one wanted to hear about how hard it was, especially people who were about to become parents themselves. Finn had recently gone out of town again for a few days and on his first night back, Topher started crying as soon as they sat down to dinner together. So Santana had to go to the living room and nurse him and by the time she was done, dinner was cold and it was too late to eat, in her opinion. Finn said they should get a nanny to help out, that she was wearing herself thin, but she refused. Nannies were for moms that had to work. Santana's job was "mommy" and she was determined to do it all herself. She had always been a perfectionist and she needed to prove that she could be the perfect mom. "We're fine," she'd told Finn. "We're great," she'd told her friends.

"Have y'all hear of Dr. Sears?" she asked.

"Of course!" Rachel replied. "I skimmed his book, but it kind of implied that you're a monster if you have to go back to work. It suggested taking unpaid leave for as long as you can and going broke instead of going to work and putting your child in daycare!"

"Yup, that's the one." Santana said. "My mom sent it to me when I was pregnant although I'm pretty sure she never even opened it."

"Anyway, some moms have to work," Rachel explained. "Like me."

"What? Your husband's a doctor!" Mercedes said.

"Well I think we'd be okay if I didn't. But we're still paying back his student loans, and I love my job. I'm sure I'll love my baby," she joked "but for now I'm working three days a week and it works for us."

"What are you going to do with the baby?" Brittany asked.

"Noah's hospital has a great day care. I'll hang out with her in the mornings and then drop her off there. Then I'll probably pick her up when I'm done because he works such long hours, but he'll be close by so he can visit her when he has free time." She turned to the other women "Mercedes, I know you're going back to work at some point, but you two are staying home, right?"

Santana nodded, and Brittany just sighed. "I was going to," she said.

"What happened?" Santana asked.

"Well," she started, looking down, knowing that she wouldn't be able to look them in the eyes when she said this because it wasn't the truth. "Artie decided to make a career change. So, he's going to take paternity leave, and I'll go back to work until he finds something."

"Are you okay with that?" Rachel asked. "I thought you wanted to stay home."

"Oh yeah, it's totally fine! I think I'd go crazy at home with a baby. No offense, Santana," She lied.

"None taken," Santana said. "I love staying home with my little man but I know it's not for everyone. You're all going to be such wonderful moms. It's amazing, you'll see."

"Ugh, I have to pee again," Brittany pouted. "Let's go".


	16. July: Rachel

a/n: To the person who doesn't want to be named even though she is anonymous: Seriously, get a life! I tried replying to you in the review section after your last ridiculous comment but you're still being ridiculous, so I don't care, you're being addressed here. That was not a false fact either. 40 weeks is IDEAL for a pregnancy, and that's how they determine the due date. But at 38 weeks, it IS considered full term, but the closer to 40, the better. Actually, most say that 37 weeks is full term. If you have read my previous chapters, you will know that I mentioned that Santana gave birth at 36 weeks and that that was 4 weeks early, and despite what you may think, even I know that 36+4 does not equal 38. So I know that I am not wrong about this, just like I am not wrong that SOME women have their water break before they have contractions. I'm not going to go into specifics about my personal life, but I will say that I am fairly knowledgeable on the subject. Your mom may be a doctor but I'm not ignorant. If you think I'm doing such a bad job, please stop wasting your time reading this story. I am not going to change those details, because I know I'm not wrong. Here's some stuff that you can read to pass the time, it backs up what I'm talking about on both matters :)

.com/6_your-pregnancy-37-weeks_

.com/pregnancy/birth/what-is-considered-fullterm-pregnancy

.com/pregnancy/week/article/38th-week-pregnancy

.com/pregnancy-weeks/37-weeks-pregnant/

.

.com/2009/07/22/when-your-water-breaks-before-labor-begins/

.com/0_signs-of-labor_

.com/post/a8728405/for_the_ladies_whos_water_broke_before_labor

.com/articles/will-my-water-definitely-break-before-labor-starts

.com/pregnancy/rupture_of_membranes_water_bags_

.com/prenatal-health/labor-surprises

Well, all those links worked until I loaded this chapter onto this site. I guess that's not allowed. But just do a google search and you will see that I'm not wrong. I googled "full term pregnancy" and "water breaking before labor" and the results backing up what I wrote were all on the first page. Anyway, thanks again to everyone reading/adding/reviewing, sorry about my rant! I have read lots of excellent fics on here, and I've also read some pretty bad ones. Mine are not the best, but they're not the worst either. I've been on here reading for years and I finally decided to start writing, and I want to do a good job. I really try, and I would never just make stuff like this up, or guess without checking or knowing what I am doing.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Four days later, Rachel was still pregnant, and even her patience was starting to wear thin. Not that she would admit it to any of her friends, but she was now eleven days past her due date and beginning to worry that she would be pregnant forever. She was uncomfortable, and she really wanted to meet her baby already. In the last couple of days, she'd eaten spicy food, had lots of sex with her husband, gone on several walks, and still no baby. She was also tired of having to post daily Facebook updates stating that she was still pregnant. She forgot to one day, and she got 17 text messages from people asking if she'd gone into labor yet.

"I think we need to talk about a c-section," Dr. Wu suggested cautiously. "I know it's not what you wanted, but pregnancy doesn't always go as planned, and we need to consider what's best for you and the baby."

"What about induction?" She asked, not really liking the sound of that either but figured it was the lesser of two evils.

"Well, considering the size of the baby, the fact that she is still breech, and you're not dilated or effaced yet, there's a good chance that we could induce you, and you still might need c-section after laboring for hours. I'd rather not put you through that. I know you wanted to go as natural as possible, but I also know you know the risks increase significantly after 42 weeks, so I really think it's for the best," he explained.

"Can I discuss it with my husband first?" She asked, sounding almost defeated.

"Of course, but don't take too long. I would like to schedule you for tomorrow morning, and you know we close at five. Just call the front desk as soon as you can and we'll pencil you in." He patted her shoulder and left the room, just before Rachel burst into tears.

Thirty minutes later she was sitting with Noah in the hospital cafeteria and still crying. "I'm sorry baby." he said, squeezing her hand. "But Dr. Wu knows how you feel, and I know he wouldn't recommend this if he didn't absolutely think it was best. I agree with him too, I think it's time."

"I know," Rachel sniffed. "I just feel like a failure. I can't even give birth to my baby the way women have for thousands of years. I can't give her the peaceful entrance that she deserves, she has to be born in an operating room. I had accepted that I wouldn't get to have a home birth like Tina did, but even Santana got to give birth vaginally and she has no hips!"

"You did nothing wrong, baby. Our daughter is just stubborn, like someone else I know," Noah smirked. "But we finally get to meet her tomorrow, isn't that exciting?"

'It really is," She nodded while wiping her eyes. "Thank you for making me feel better, you always do. I'm going to go call Dr. Wu's office and I'll see you later on tonight. She kissed Noah and then left to make some phone calls. After scheduling her c-section, she called her dads who were going to get the first flight there that they could, and then she couldn't wait to tell her friends. Santana was distracted, she was busy holding Christopher and getting lost in his eyes, so there were lots of "uh-huhs" and "yeahs", as soon as Tina answered, she wanted to rant about her mother-in-law before Rachel could even tell her the news, and Brittany and Mercedes were doing their best not to sound completely jealous. They were all thrilled for her though.

"Call us as soon as you can, I can't wait to meet my future daughter-in-law!" Santana playfully demanded.

"I thought Lily was going to marry Topher," Tina joked.

"What about my baby? It's a girl too!" Mercedes added.

"Maybe you're all out of luck! Maybe Christopher and my baby will be gay and end up together!" Brittany chimed in.

"Well I think we have a few years to figure this out," Santana said. "Seriously, Rachel, good luck. We love you!"

It was about 8 pm when the stomach pains started. Rachel was relaxing in the living room while Noah cleaned up from dinner. At first she thought that their rich dinner just hadn't agreed with her but when she had three perfectly spaced pains in the span of 20 minutes, she realized what it was.

"I think this is it" she calmly told Noah when he returned to the living room.

"You think this is what?" He asked, not really getting it.

"I think I'm in labor!"

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes, I just had three pains, ten minutes apart. And my stomach is rock hard, feel this," she said, grabbing his hand and placing it on her very large bump.

She called Dr. Wu's office to cancel her c-section, and the doctor on call instructed her to wait at home until she was having regular contractions five minutes apart for over an hour. The contractions continued throughout the night, and by morning she had only had a few cat-naps. Several calls were made the next day between her and Dr. Wu's office and by dinner time they told her she should probably come to the hospital to get checked out.

"Well, you're two centimeters dilated" the on-call doctor in triage announced.

"TWO? My husband is dilated two!" Rachel practically shouted, and Noah did his best not to laugh at her. "That can't be possible, I've been in labor for almost twenty four hours!"

"It's possible" the doctor explained, "and it's true. Two centimeters. But the good news is, the baby is head down now."

Rachel was really disappointed. She was hoping that by the time she got to the hospital they would announce that she was fully dilated and ready to push and that they'd barely get her admitted before the baby came out.

"Would you like to go back home?" Noah asked, rubbing her back.

"No, let's just stay here," she sighed.

An hour later, they were in their own room. It wasn't as big as the room they put Santana in, and she noticed that it had taken them much longer to admit her too. The perks of marrying a celebrity, Rachel thought.

"Want me to call your dads?" Noah asked.

"Yeah. Tell them we've been admitted but not to come yet. It's going to be a long time and I know they'll be more comfortable at the house than in the waiting room."

"What about my mom, can I call her too?" He asked.

"Can we just wait until the baby is born and then call her? That was the plan, she wasn't going to be here when we were going to have a c-section."

"Okay," Noah sulked.

"I'm sorry, but she'll want to be here, and she'll be excited and it'll make me more anxious. I just think it'll be better for the baby if we wait to call her. That's all."

"Fine, I just feel bad leaving her out," he sighed.

"As soon as the baby is here, we can call her, but I really want this to just be the two of us," Rachel explained.

The contractions continued, and it was really bad. She was moaning and rocking back and forth, and doing her best not to scream obscenities at her husband for doing this to her. She had also assumed that Santana was being dramatic when she was in labor, and then when Tina went in to labor she thought she was too. She was hoping that she was as strong as Tina was, but she wasn't sure if she could be. She could see now why Santana was demanding drugs after several hours of intense contractions. A nurse came in to check her progress and asked if she was sure she didn't want anything to help with the pain.

"No, I'm going to do this naturally," Rachel stated, but inside, she was mentally kicking herself for deciding that. She had to be strong for her baby, women had been doing this since the beginning of time, and she could too. She still thought it hurt like a bitch though.

"You're doing great baby," Noah reassured several hours later. "Just keep breathing."

"Fuck breathing! That doesn't fucking help at all. This fucking hurts! Fuck!" Rachel cried.

Noah was shocked, and strangely turned on. Rachel's face was red, and her hair was drenched with sweat, but in all the years he a had known his wife, he had never heard her use the word "fuck" and now she had used it four times in a row. He thought it was fucking hot.

"You are so hot, I love it when you talk dirty," he whispered.

"Shut it, Puckerman! You're the reason I'm in this fucking mess, you and your dirty language!"

Some time later, Dr. Wu came in to check on her. "Well, you're still only two centimeters," he announced sympathetically as Rachel began to cry.

"The good news is that the baby seems to be handling it well, she doesn't appear to be in any distress. And I see that she's head down now, but for whatever reason you're just not dilating. Maybe it's time we broke your water and started you on Pitocin to see if that gets things going?" He suggested cautiously.

"What are my other options?" Rachel asked.

"The other option at this point would be a c-section. Since you're almost 42 weeks and you've been going at this for a day and a half and not dilating, and we suspect your baby is quite large, I would strongly recommend it."

"Fine," She sighed. "Let's get it over with."

"Really? Are you sure about this?" Noah asked.

"I don't want Pitocin, that'll just lead to more interventions and I'll likely need a c-section anyway, and I'm just sick of this. I tried but these contractions are about to drive me insane." She cried.

An hour later Rachel was in the operating room and completely numb below the chest. "Can you feel that?" Dr. Wu asked, poking her on various parts of her body.

"Feel what? Are you done? Is the baby out?" She asked.

"Nothing, that's great. Okay, we're going to bring your husband in and then we'll have a baby!

"Hey baby," Noah said, sitting on the stool next to Rachel's head and taking her hand. "Are you ready?"

"I'm ready, let's go!" She said with a shaky voice.

"Okay, you're going to feel a little pressure, but that should be it." Dr. Wu explained.

She didn't know how long it took, probably only a couple of minutes but it seemed like an eternity. After some pressure, and a strange tugging sensation, a new sound joined the suction and metallic clanging noises in the room, a baby's cry. A very loud, very strong baby's cry.

"Time of birth, 9:42 am!" The doctor announced.

"Rachel, baby, look up. Look at our daughter," Noah cried.

And there she was, a big, screaming mound of messy pink flesh, but her parents thought she was beautiful.

"What's her name, mom?" a nurse asked.

Rachel looked at Noah, and he just nodded. "Evita," she said proudly. "Evita Caroline." As hard as she had tried, she could not get Noah to agree to Elphaba. But he did like her second choice, Evita, as long as he could call her Eva. And "Caroline" was special to them too. "Sweet Caroline" had always been their song since it played in Noah's car the night they got back together.

"Dad, why don't you come with us," the nurse said. After kissing Rachel and telling her how proud she was of her, he joined the nurse where Eva got cleaned, weighed, measured, and wrapped in a blanket.

"She's perfect," Noah said with tears in his eyes, and the nurse handed all nine pounds and eight ounces of baby over to her father.

Rachel thought labor had sucked, but the next few hours were miserable. They wheeled her back to recovery where she shivered and dry-heaved and tried to get comfortable although she could barely move. That was all forgotten though, when a nurse came in with a little pink bundle. Rachel's little pink bundle.

"Hi baby," she greeted as the bundle was placed in your arms. "You're a stubborn little one but I'm so glad you're here. I'm your mommy," she added, not quite believing it. She didn't know exactly how a mother was supposed to feel, but she didn't feel all that different. Well, besides being cold and mostly numb. She liked her baby and everything, but she couldn't say she felt the overwhelming love and bliss that Santana described.

After a few minutes the nurse said that they had to take the baby down to the nursery. "You should go with her," she said to Noah.

"Are you sure? My mom and your dads can go and I'll stay with you," he offered.

"Oh god, please go!" She begged, imagining the kind of trouble Nancy Puckerman would cause. Her dads were well behaved, but Nancy had a habit of saying things she shouldn't say and Rachel didn't trust her around them. Or her baby.

"Okay, I love you. You're amazing, thank you for everything," Noah said, tearing up again before kissing his wife and heading down to the nursery.

Rachel wasn't alone long when a nurse came with a morphine pump. She was still numb, and didn't have any pain yet, but the nurse explained that this would keep it under control.

"Okay, I've just given you a dose, but press this button here whenever you need more. It'll give you some every ten minutes if you need it," she explained.

A little while later, she was wheeled into a private room and she was definitely high. She was giggling uncontrollably and telling Noah and the nurses to feel her "squishy" stomach.

"Squishy, that's a funny word," Rachel mused out loud. "Squishy, squishy, squishy!" she said, before collapsing in a fit of giggles.

"Okay, I think you've had enough morphine," Noah suggested as if he was talking to a child.

"But I'm trying to stay on top of the pain!" Rachel explained.

"Are you in any pain right now?" He asked.

"No, because I have morphine! It's working and I just feel squishy!"

"You're definitely cut off for now," he laughed.

"Aww, you're no fun," Rachel pouted.

"Is this real life?" She asked a few minutes later, while trying to wiggle her toes.

Finally, the door opened and it was Rachel's fathers with baby Eva. Rachel insisted that she was too high to hold the baby, but they surrounded her with pillows and assured her that it would be okay.

"Hello beautiful, she greeted." The baby just yawned and they both fell asleep .

By the time she woke up, her fathers were gone and her mother-in-law was holding the baby, who she had changed into an uncomfortable looking tutu dress with sequins, and a sequined headband that looked very itchy. She was also calling her "Elizabeth". Rachel was about to say something and it probably wouldn't have been very nice when a nurse returned.

"I bet someone is hungry. Ready to try breastfeeding?" She asked cheerfully.

"Yes!" Rachel said a little too enthusiastically but she knew that it was a way to get the baby out of her mother-in-law's arms.

"Awww, Elizabeth, your mother is trying to ruin all my fun! Grandma was going to give you a nice bottle but she doesn't want to share you! Your mommy is a baby hog! Yes she is!" She said in a baby voice that made Rachel want to vomit, while the words she was saying infuriated her.

"Bring her here, please," Rachel sighed. "And her name is EVITA!"

"Evita? But there are no Evitas in our family. My mother's name was Elizabeth and Noah loved her! Nancy shrieked.

"That's right, your mother's name started with an E and so does Evita's" Rachel explained, undoing one side of her hospital gown. Seeing what Rachel was about to do, Nancy turned red and headed out the door muttering about how everyone in her generation bottle fed and the babies were just fine.

"I'll talk to her," Noah reassured, as he watched his wife and daughter.

a/n: I hope you all liked it! I have come up with a name for Kurt and Mercedes' baby but need your help coming up with one for Brittany and Artie's. What do you think they would name their baby boy?


	17. July: Mercedes

a/n: yes, I suck! I'm so sorry I took so long to update this story. Next chapter won't take as long, I promise! As always, you guys are awesome. It's interesting, writing a story where each chapter focuses on different characters. Puckleberry chapters are definitely the most read and most commented on, then Quinn and Finntana chapters are about even, followed by Bartie, Asian Fusion, and then Kurt and Mercedes. I'm glad to see that some people really like the Kurt and Mercedes chapters though, I hope this one is good! I tried to make this chapter long, but I struggled with that. The Bartie baby will be born very soon, and then more stuff will happen with all the characters :)

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hummel Designs, this is Kurt. How may I help you?"

"Hey baby-daddy," Mercedes said, sounding more chipper than she had in weeks.

"Hey baby-mama, how did your appointment go?"

"It went great. My blood pressure was a little high, he's slightly concerned, so since I'm full term, he wants me to head to the hospital to be induced. Like, tonight!" she squealed.

"Oh my gosh, okay! Do you want me to come home now or what?" He asked.

"No, I'm fine, just meet me here this afternoon. Dr. Wu said we should come in after an early dinner and they'll get things started," she assured him, but the truth was, her blood pressure was more than a little high, she was so swollen that she had put on ten pounds in a week even though her stomach was so squished that she could barely eat, and an ultrasound showed that her amniotic fluid was low, but she knew that the baby just needed to be born, and she would be fine. Kurt didn't need to know that yet, it would just make him more nervous.

"Do you think you can be home by 4:00?" She asked, "we still need to install the car seats in both of our cars!"

"Yes, it'll probably be earlier than that. My last appointment is at 2:00. I'll bring food too, take-out from Savory?"

"Yes, please! I probably shouldn't have tots with my blood pressure so high right now, so salad and whatever soup they have today will be fine," she sighed.

"You got it mama, I'll get you some tots as soon as you pop that baby out!" he promised.

"Okay, see you soon, yay!" She said before hanging up the phone.

"Well baby girl, I hope you're ready because you're coming out tomorrow! Your daddy and I may be crazy and as non-traditional as they come but we love you and can't wait to meet you," she said as she rubbed her large belly. "Oooh, I've got to tell your aunties. Well, they're not really your aunties, they're not related to you. They're mommy's friends and you are going to grow up with their babies and be so close!"

Rachel, Santana, and Tina were thrilled for Mercedes and so excited, immediately replying to her text with well wishes and congratulations. Brittany, who was still very pregnant, very irritable, and very impatient just replied with an "ugh", but a few minutes later she sent another text, apologizing and explaining that some hormonal bitch had hijacked her phone, but that she was really happy for her and couldn't wait to meet the baby. Mercedes didn't take it personally, she knew exactly how Brittany felt and figured she would probably be a little jealous and discouraged if Brittany had her baby before she did.

After calling her parents and telling them the news, she decided to take a nice hot bath and take the time to do her hair and make-up. It would still be a few hours before Kurt got home, the bathtub was now the only place she could get comfortable, and she wanted to look her best when she met her baby. Kurt was home just before 4:00 pm and they ate a leisurely meal and then he went to install the car seats. He wouldn't let her help, saying that she should stay inside and rest so she didn't raise her blood pressure any more. After an hour or so, she was curious what was taking so long so she went out there to find Kurt sweating and yelling at the car seats.

"Sweet baby Jesus, why are you yelling at the car seats? I don't think that is going to get them installed any faster," she said, trying not to laugh at him. He looked so ridiculous.

"Well what else am I supposed to do? These stupid pieces of shit won't lock into place. I think they're broken!"

"Have you read the manual?" She asked calmly, picking it up and glancing over it.

"I don't need to read the manual. I'm a man, and I should be able to do this!"

"Well, I can see exactly what you are doing wrong right now", she said, pointing to the illustration. "Why don't you go take a shower and I'll set these up. We need to leave in like thirty minutes."

"But you need to stay calm...your blood pressure!" He argued, not ready to admit that he didn't know what he was doing. She was thankful that they lived so far North and that it didn't get particularly hot there during the summer, otherwise she might not have volunteered to do it. She had some cousins that lived in Arkansas, and remembered visiting them one summer and thought she was going to die. She couldn't imagine dealing with that heat when she was almost ten months pregnant.

"I'm perfectly calm, I can do this. Just go get ready and I'll have both of these things set up by the time you're done and we can go."

"Fine," he huffed, and went inside while Mercedes just chuckled.

Twenty minutes later, a freshly showered and dressed Kurt came into the living room with the hospital bag, and Mercedes was sitting on the couch, calmly reading a magazine.

"Did you give up too? See it's hard!" he asked, not believing that she would have been able to do it so fast.

"Nope, the car seats are in and ready to go!" She said proudly.

"Both cars?" he asked with his eyebrows raised.

"Both cars!" She beamed, "Let's go!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Okay Ms. Jones, I've inserted your Cervidil. This will ripen your cervix, helping you to dilate and hopefully jump-start labor," Dr. Wu explained as he removed his gloves and fixed the blanket over Mercedes legs. Kurt was standing in the corner, completely grossed out that the doctor had just said "ripen" and "cervix" in the same sentence. Seriously, "ripen"? He was never going to be able to think about a piece of fruit ripening the same way, and he was pretty sure it'd be a while before he could even eat any. Yes, he was definitely gay.

"What if it doesn't jump-star labor?" Mercedes asked the doctor.

"If you aren't having regular contractions by morning, we'll start you on Pitocin, but oftentimes Cervidil is enough. We like to try it first because many women find that Pitocin makes the contractions more painful." He said, and then noticed that the pregnant woman looked scared. "But we have great options for pain relief if that's what you choose!'

"I'm definitely choosing pain relief!" She announced, "the sooner the better!"

"Okay, just try to sleep for now. Press the red button if you need anything, otherwise a nurse will be in to check on you in a few hours," Dr. Wu said before leaving them to get some rest.

Mercedes fell asleep quickly, but Kurt wasn't so lucky. The vinyl love seat he was on wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world. He couldn't complain though, Mercedes was the one having the baby. Around 1 am she woke up with cramping, which quickly turned into pretty intense contractions, and Kurt was sound asleep. After three intense contractions in a row, she'd had enough and called the nurse who gave her some pain relief through her I.V. and she was able to sleep for a couple of more hours before that was no longer enough. Mercedes wasn't a doctor and she'd never been in labor before but it seemed to her that the Cervidil was doing its job.

She cheered when the nurse checked and said that she had progressed enough for an epidural if she wanted one, which woke Kurt up, but she didn't care. She'd gotten a taste of what labor pain was like, and she wasn't about to try it without lots of drugs. Everyone could think Tina was more of a woman. They could even think Rachel and Santana were tougher, she didn't care. She didn't have anything to prove to anyone.

"Now in some cases, the epidural slows the progress, and we may need to administer Pitocin, but if we do it, you shouldn't feel it. Just maybe some pressure" the nurse explained.

"Fine, whatever, just give me drugs!"

"What's going on?" Kurt asked, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"I'm in labor and far enough along for my epidural!" She exclaimed excitedly.

"I'll call the Anesthesiologist and you should have your epidural within the next twenty minutes or so. Mr. Jones, you'll have to step into the hallway when your wife receives it", she explained, turning to Kurt.

"Oh, we're not married, I'm..." he started before Mercedes shot him a look."Sure, that's fine," he added. Normally Mercedes wouldn't care but ever since she started showing she had noticed the looks she got for being pregnant and not having a wedding ring. The assumptions people made bothered her sometimes, and even though she wasn't your average single baby-mama with an unplanned pregnancy, she still kind of cared. This was one of the few people that assumed she was married, and Mercedes kind of appreciated it. Kurt had been very flamboyantly and stereotypically gay in high school, and no one was surprised when he came out. Except for Mercedes, but she was particularly naïve. As they had gotten older, he'd matured and toned it down a little bit and some people were still not surprised that he was gay, but apparently he could still fool others.

A short time later, Mercedes got her epidural and fortunately it didn't slow the labor down, and with the complete lack of pain, they were able to sleep for a few more hours. This labor thing wasn't so bad! They both slept comfortably until Mercedes woke up at 6:30 am in a wet bed.

"Kurt, wake up!" She hissed.

"What now?" He asked, annoyed, and not fully awake.

"I peed on myself!" She cried.

"Honey, you have a catheter, remember? That's highly unlikely!" He explained. "Oh my God, your water probably broke! I'm going to go get the nurse," he said as he hurried out of the room.

"Oooh, your water broke, and you're fully dilated!" The nurse said when she came in to check. "I'm going to call the doctor and have you start pushing."

"Okay now when I tell you to, you're going to push like you're pooping while I count to ten," she explained when she returned to Mercedes' room, causing Kurt to giggle at the word "pooping". So maybe he wasn't _that_ mature. And Mercedes couldn't really blame him. If she were being honest, she would probably laugh too if someone told him to act like he was pooping.

"Wow, you're great at this!" The nurse exclaimed as Mercedes pushed through the next contraction, "too great! Dr. Wu is still about twenty minutes away, so why don't you just relax until then."

Mercedes did her best to relax but she was so anxious, so was Kurt, but Mercedes took the opportunity to freshen-up her make-up and fix her hair. Kurt went and washed his face, brushed his teeth, and fixed his hair too. He also wanted to look great the first time he met his baby! Finally the doctor arrived and after three pushes, Whitney Patricia Jones-Hummel was born and placed on her mother's chest as Kurt went to cut the cord.

"She is so beautiful, just like her mama. Thanks for doing this for me", Kurt cried.

"I did this for us," she beamed, also with tears in her eyes. "She really is beautiful, isn't she?"

Both parents got to hold her for a few minutes before they took her to get weighed and cleaned up. She was perfectly healthy and Mercedes hoped that with all the weight she gained, Whitney would weigh at least twenty pounds, but no such luck. She was just barely over eight pounds, but she was worth all the weight gain in the world.

"We're going to take Whitney to the nursery, but we'll have her back to you within an hour or two," the nurse explained to Mercedes. "Dad, you're welcome to join us," she added, looking to Kurt, and Mercedes nodded enthusiastically, letting him know that she would be okay, and that she wanted him to be with the baby.

"Why don't you get some rest," he suggested as he hugged Mercedes before leaving the room. But Mercedes wasn't tired. She has actually gotten to sleep a lot that night, and she felt surprisingly good.

Soon after they left, another nurse came in and helped Mercedes get cleaned up and changed, and then she was bored and really missed her baby! She couldn't believe how much she loved this person that she didn't even know an hour ago, but Santana was right, the love was pretty overwhelming and so were the hormones! As soon as she was left alone, she burst into tears, and she was still crying when Kurt and Whitney returned a short time later.

"Whoa, who ordered the waterworks? He asked, carefully rushing over to her.

"I just missed her so much!" She explained, laughing and crying at the same time.

"Well we're back now, and it's official. We made a perfect baby! The nurse said you should probably try feeding her, so she'll be here in a few minutes to show you how," he explained.

"I don't think I want to breastfeed," she said, now purely crying. "At least not right now, my boobs are really sore, and I'm just not comfortable with it. I haven't been around Tina and Rachel since they've had their babies, but every time I see Santana she's got Christopher attached to her boobs and I just don't want to do that! I feel guilty, but your dad, and my parents are on their way over, and I just don't want to! Does that make me horrible?"

"Not at all! I'm kind of glad, actually, I wanted to be able to feed her and looking at boobs just isn't really my thing!" he added jokingly.

"I do want her to get breast milk, at least for the first month or so, and the nurse said we could rent a pump from the hospital. Maybe I'll even give breastfeeding a try later, but not right now." She explained, mostly for herself. She did feel a little guilty. Santana was a stay at home mom with a live in maid, she had all the time in the world to sit and nurse her baby. Mercedes may have felt guilty, but still she was pretty sure she didn't want to do that.

"That's totally fine. I've been doing some reading and some of the formulas these days are almost as good as breast milk", he explained, and Mercedes was very impressed that he had been reading parenting stuff.

"You're going to be an amazing father", she said, wiping her eyes.

"We're both going to be great. Here, you hold her, and I'll go get a bottle," he said, handing the baby back to her mother.

"Hi baby," she cooed. "I know you're hungry, your daddy is going to give you your first meal."

"Really?" He asked, almost in tears. "You'd let me do that?"

"Of course," she nodded confidently, "you're her parent just as much as I am. You're also changing the first diaper though, just so you know!"

"Deal!" He said, kissing her forehead. "I'm going to Sonic as soon as we feed her and I'm getting you some tots," he informed her.

"Thanks, daddy," she said, but the craving for tots was gone. He was being sweet though, so she wasn't going to say anything. She still liked them, of course, they just didn't sound as great as they had during her pregnancy.

"Sounds great, now go get that bottle!" She said as Whitney started to whimper slightly.


	18. July: Brittany

A/N: Can I just say that I REALLY hate this new layout? LOL. I went to reply to a pm and it took me forever to figure out which one was the most recent. UGH! Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy this chapter. I love reviews :)

The day Mercedes, Kurt, and baby Whitney were released from the hospital was the day that Brittany was finally admitted. She thought labor was awful, at least _her _labor was awful, and wished she hadn't been so eager to experience it. Thankfully, it was at least a fast labor. So fast that she barely had time to get her epidural, ended up tearing so severely that she needed a transfusion because of the blood loss, and little Nathan Lucas Abrams had to spend the first two nights in the NICU because of jaundice. But he was finally here, and he was doing well enough that they could go home.

When she returned home, she thought that maybe she could rest, that Artie would become more helpful or that her sisters that had come to visit would pitch in considering what she had just been through, but no such luck. After 30 minutes or so of everyone sitting around and Brittany actually having to serve them beverages, she decided it was time to get bossy. This was going to drive her crazy.

"Kourtney, Santana sent enchiladas, can you pre-heat the oven and then put them in when it's ready? It's going to take an hour. Stephanie, can you bring my digital camera and laptop to the bedroom so I can update Facebook? Artie, get the journal and log Nathan's wet diaper at 10:45, and Bethany, can you take Ducky for a walk?"

With her sisters and her husband off to do their various tasks, Brittany carefully made her way to the nursery with her son. She was thankful for the break, and just sat there and watched the sleeping baby. He had Artie's nose and ears, and she hoped he'd grow into them. Still she thought he was beautiful, all babies were, and when he opened his eyes, they were all Brittany. "Welcome home, Nathan," she whispered, lifting him up to her face, carefully so she wouldn't disturb her stitches, and giving him a kiss. The peace and quiet didn't last long though, when she looked up, Kourtney, Stephanie, and Artie were in the doorway watching her.

"Okay, that's all taken care of, now what?" Artie asked

"Can one of you start washing the dirty clothes from the hospital?" Brittany asked as she painfully got up and gently set Nathan in his crib. Her sisters returned a few minutes later after a lot of banging around, wearing some of Brittany's favorite articles of clothing.

"Can I borrow this top?" Kourtney asked.

"And this skirt?" Stephanie added. "We're going to this new club in Cleveland tonight."

"Stephanie!" Kourtney hissed, "Try a little discretion."

"Sorry, just trying to be honest," Stephanie replied.

"Fine," Brittany sighed. It was likely she'd never see them again, or they'd be ruined, but at this point she was pretty sure they'd never fit her again anyway, so it wasn't a big deal. Bethany returned a few minutes later and hijacked the laptop to check her email before Brittany could do anything about a birth announcement, and she could hear one of her sisters whispering in another room about how bossy she was. She just took a deep breath, doing her best to stay calm.

"Man, I'm tired," Artie sighed from the doorway. "And sore, those couches in the hospital are so uncomfortable and hard to get any sleep on."

_Are you fucking kidding me? _She thought. She'd pushed a baby out of her lady-business, practically bled to death, woken up every three hours to feed the baby, and _Artie_ was complaining? She knew he had stuff to deal with that she didn't, but it wasn't like it was new to him. She was sore and tired too, she really didn't want to hear it right now. But she really didn't have time to say anything. Nathan chose that time to start crying.

"Artie, can you bring me the journal?" She asked, and after glancing at it, she knew why the baby was crying.

"I think he's hungry, it's been almost four hours." She got up to get him but Artie beat her too it, picking up the baby and setting him in his lap.

"Artie, he's going to roll off! I told you to use the sling when you hold him!" Brittany demanded, sounding as calm as she could, but wanting to scream.

"He can't even move yet, and I'll look stupid wearing a sling. Those are for women," he whined. Brittany just glared at him as he held onto the baby with one hand while struggling to wheel his chair with the other. Artie wasn't getting very far, so this just frustrated Brittany even more. She eventually got up and picked the baby up, herself.

She gently sat back down in the glider with him, un-hooked her bra, and brought him to her breast. And he refused to latch on. It had been so easy in the hospital, even after the NICU had given him formula. She didn't get it.

"Need some help?" Artie asked from the doorway.

"No, we're fine." She assured him. It's not like he could help anyway, he'd been playing games on his phone or sleeping whenever she fed the baby in the hospital, and her sisters didn't have kids yet, so they wouldn't be helpful. And she was the big sister, the one that was always helping them. They could barely help themselves. So she kept trying, kept begging Nathan to latch on, but he just turned his head and cried harder. She wanted Artie to go somewhere. Buy diapers, or take Ducky for another walk, anything to get him out of the house. Her sisters were asking too many questions about his "paternity leave", as if the story wasn't adding up for them either, and it made her feel uneasy.

"Actually, Artie, I need you to call Santana. My phone is in the bedroom."

"You have Finn Hudson's phone number?" He asked excitedly.

"Yes, but please don't bug him if he answers. I need to get Nathan fed, and I don't know who else to call. Tina still can't leave the house and Rachel is recovering from a c-section."

"I called her cell and her house and didn't get an answer, but I left messages, the maid said she took the baby for a walk" he explained when he returned to the nursery a few minutes later.

"Ugh, okay, bring me my phone and I'll call Rachel. Maybe she can help me over the phone," she sighed.

As soon as Rachel answered, Brittany started crying.

"Hey Britt, what's wrong?"

"I can't get Nathan latched on, he's going to starve," she sobbed.

"Shh, Brittany, it's okay. How long has it been?"

"About four hours and his jaundice levels were just barely okay enough to be sent home!"

"Okay, just hold on, Noah's home, I'll have him bring me by," she reassured her.

Thirty minutes later, Santana and Rachel were there with their babies, and Brittany was so frustrated, but relieved to see them, she almost started crying.

"Okay, let's see what's going on," Santana, who was the most experienced mother of the three, said.

Brittany un-hooked her bra again and tried bringing Nathan to her breast, where once again he turned away and started crying. "See, he won't do it! You never had problems breastfeeding, and your boobs are fake. It's not fair! No offense," she said turning to Santana.

Santana just shrugged. "Can I touch you?" She asked.

Before Brittany could reply, she heard Artie, who was in the kitchen making small talk with Noah, say something that sounded an awful lot like "wanky". Brittany and Santana just rolled their eyes.

"Fine, whatever, film this and put it on YouTube too if you want, just help me get him fed!"

Luckily, Santana knew what she was doing, and thirty seconds later, Nathan was nursing beautifully. There were no other chairs in the nursery, so she carefully helped Rachel sit on the floor before joining her down there with their babies.

"So, Nathan and Lucas, aren't those the brothers on..?" Santana started, but Brittany quickly shushed her. Yes, Brittany was a closet One Tree Hill fan, usually watching it on her laptop when Artie wasn't home. Fortunately, he didn't know how Brittany came up with those names; he just thought they were nice ones. And Rachel, Mercedes, and Tina were all a few years older than Brittany and Santana so it was likely that they never watched the show.

"Never mind, I love the name, and he's so cute!" Santana gushed. "So is Evita, she's beautiful!"

"She looks like a boy." Rachel admitted, "I wish she had hair."

"I hope Nate grows into his ears, and his nose," Brittany sighed. "Did you think Christopher was a cute newborn?"

"I did." Santana said honestly, "but he's definitely gotten cuter as he's gotten older. I'm sure lots of moms think their newborns are funny looking," she added trying to make her friends feel better.

"Well Christopher was a particularly beautiful newborn, he still is," Brittany said."And don't get me wrong, I definitely love Nathan and think he's cute, I just hope he grows into his features."

"Oh yeah, I adore Evita too. I just wish she was less...bald. Her head isn't as perfectly shaped as Christopher's is," Rachel clarified.

"Well I happen to think they're all beautiful, but don't worry, they get cuter every day!" Santana assured them. "Anyway, Rach, how are you feeling? What was the c-section like?"

"I'm okay I guess. Noah says my incision is healing nicely, and it doesn't hurt that much anymore, but I'm disappointed that I had a c-section. I was frustrated and sick of labor when I agreed to it, and I'm grateful that Evita is perfectly healthy, but I still feel like such a failure. Women have been having babies naturally for thousands of years, why couldn't I?" She said, becoming slightly emotional.

"Honey, you're not a failure!" Santana said, putting an arm around her. "These things happen."

"You were in labor for more than 36 hours and you didn't give in and have a c-section!" Rachel cried.

"But I was progressing, you weren't. And my labor wasn't really bad until the few hours. We both have the same doctor and I know he wouldn't recommend it unless he really felt it was necessary," Santana explained, trying to comfort her.

"I know. And he said she was wedged in there really tight. I still feel like I should have tried for a few more hours though, and I feel guilty."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, I really wish you didn't," Santana said, and Brittany looked up from Nathan and just nodded.

"What about you?" she said, turning to Brittany. "How are you doing?"

"Ugh, my labor sucked, and I'm still in a lot of pain. I had a third degree tear and had to get a blood transfusion. So it hurts and I still feel really weak. But being in pain and feeling weak is probably normal for anyone who has just given birth. They sent me home with this weird cushion and ice packs that I should be sitting on, but I will later, I guess." Brittany shrugged.

"Wow, scary stuff. I'm so glad you're okay," Rachel said.

"Me too, I feel so fortunate that I never had any complications," Santana added. "It was a little scary going into labor four weeks early, but we're both perfectly fine."

"You want to see something weird?" Rachel asked, changing the subject.

"Is it Evita's umbilical cord stump?" Brittany asked. "They are so gross!"

"No, check this out!" She said, pulling a pink onesie out of her diaper bag.

"Looks like a onesie to me," Santana shrugged, "I think it's cute."

"Yeah, it's not the onesie that's weird. It's the fact that it was just left at the restaurant a few days ago. My partner, Lisa brought it to me when she came to visit the other day."

"Well you did just have a baby," Brittany said.

"Yeah, but there wasn't a card, and it wasn't wrapped. I've also gotten a few other baby items over the past couple of months that have turned up at the restaurant or in my diaper bag without cards. It's just kind of strange. Nice, though." Rachel explained.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A few hours later, Brittany's sisters had left and her friends were long gone, and things between her and Artie were just awkward and tense. Brittany was exhausted and incredibly sore, and still; she cleaned up after dinner because Artie and her sisters just got up and went to the living room to watch TV. They'd both taken on pretty traditional gender roles since they'd gotten married and it never really bothered her until now. She knew things like cooking and cleaning were a little bit harder for Artie since he was in a wheelchair, and she liked being a good wife, but she figured there were plenty of people in wheelchairs who did housework every day, and she'd just had a baby. They weren't exactly traditional anymore since Artie was no longer working and she would be going back to work in a few weeks, so she kind of resented it. She didn't see any reason why he couldn't help out a little bit right now, and if she heard him complain about being sore or tired one more time, she was pretty sure she would go off on him.

After feeding Nathan again and putting him in his crib, she laid down on the nursery floor and covered herself up with a throw blanket and started imagining the way things should have been. All the things that Nathan should have had, that should have been paid for instead of being put on credit. She should have had a husband that went to work and then came home and took care of her, asked her how she was doing and helped around the house. She should have had Santana's perfect life, she thought. Or Rachel's at least.

"Are you coming to bed?" Artie asked from the doorway a while later. When Brittany ignored him and pretended to be asleep, he gave up and went to the master bedroom by himself. Brittany rolled over and continued to dream.


	19. July: Santana II

a/n: I know this probably gets annoying, but thanks again for the reviews/alerts/favorites. Those of you who write know how much it means! Special thanks to Kelly who went through and reviewed every chapter! I can't reply to you with a pm, so I'm saying it here, it means a lot!

Santana stood in front of the mirror on her twenty-seventh birthday in a bra and underwear and curlers in her hair. It was the first time since her second trimester that she'd worn a sexy bra and underwear, and also the first time in that long that she'd worn ones that match. Sure, the baby weight was long gone, but she'd been wearing nursing bras because they're convenient, and cotton panties were comfortable. Any woman would be happy to look like Santana at twenty seven, or any age, whether they had had a baby or not, but she couldn't help but scrutinize herself. There had to be a reason why Finn was going to Dallas a lot, and coming home smelling like perfume. So, she must not have looked that good, she thought. She was pinching a miniscule amount of skin near her belly button when Finn came into the bedroom holding Christopher.

"Hey there sexy lady," he said as he moved in to kiss her cheek. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "Am I fat?"

"What? No! Why would you ask that?"

"I don't know," she said again. "What's this?" She asked, grabbing the same piece of skin.

"Um, skin?" He shrugged, "I have some too, look," he said, lifting his shirt and grabbing some of his own. Finn was a professional athlete, Santana found him incredibly sexy, and he had no visible body fat. Still she wasn't convinced that her's wasn't fat.

"Trust me babe, you're a total MILF," he said, trying to reassure her but that didn't help because now she looked like she was about to cry.

"So you're admitting that I do look like a mom?"

"NO! Would you stop? You're beautiful. You are a mom, but you don't look like one. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my entire life, that's why I married you," he smiled.

"Is that the only reason?" She asked, not being able to help smiling back at him.

"Well, you also have a nice rack. Christopher thinks so too. Don't you buddy?" He said, making goofy faces at the baby. "You're so lucky Topher, you have the best, most beautiful mommy in the world, and you get to hog her boobs all the time. Daddy used to get full visitation rights, but they're on loan to you for the time being."

"Speaking of our son enjoying my rack, I do need to feed him before we go. And then I'll only need about five more minutes after that to put my dress and shoes on and take my curlers out. So you should probably start getting ready," she said, taking taking Christopher from Finn and sitting down on the bed to feed him.

"Mom is so excited about tonight, but she's a bit of a controllist. The only way I could get Topher out of her arms was to tell her you needed to feed him," Finn said a little while later as he was standing at the sink shaving. "She knows you've never been away from Christopher and it really means a lot to her that we're leaving him with her for the first time."

"Well, she is Topher's grandmother, and it's controlling, dear. Controllist isn't a word." Santana laughed, playing with a fed and freshly changed baby on the bed. "Anyway, she's not even really controlling, she just loves him and never gets to spend time with him. There's no one I trust more than her. I just feel bad about leaving him. He's brand new, and I'm going to miss him!"

"Babe, he's three and a half months old, and we're only going to be gone for a few hours. I just want to take my beautiful wife to her favorite restaurant for her birthday."

"I know," She sighed. "And I'm excited. I love Breadstix. I can't believe we haven't been since he was born! Are you ready yet?"

"Yes," he called from the bathroom. "Let's go."

Santana picked Topher up and met her husband in the entrance to their master suite. "You look so handsome," she said leaning in to kiss him.

"You, my dear, look hot. But don't you think you should put some clothes on? I mean, I love to show you off, but I like to keep some things to myself, and I don't want all the guys there to personify you," he smirked.

"You mean objectify? Holy sweet hell," Santana muttered as she looked down and realized she was still in her bra and underwear. "Why don't you take Christopher downstairs and I'll be right behind you," she said, kissing the baby and handing him off. She was so nervous about leaving him that she had forgotten to get dressed.

"Don't you two look nice," Carole said, snatching Christopher from her son's arms as Santana joined them in the kitchen.

"Yeah, we clean up nicely," Finn said, wrapping his arms around his wife.

"Okay," Santana said. "I just fed and changed him. I gave him a bath earlier so he doesn't need one tonight. Give him a bottle around 7:30 in the rocking chair, and put him to bed around 8:00. We should be home before he wakes up again, but just in case, I left two bottles in the fridge. There's a bottle warmer on the counter, you can't microwave breast milk." She explained. She had been pumping milk in anticipation of this date, and two days before, Finn gave Christopher his first bottle so they could be sure he would take to it. He did of course, and Finn and Carole were thrilled. Santana was relieved that her son wouldn't starve if she had to be away, but it broke her heart too. Christopher was her little baby and she had nursed him every single time he was hungry for his first three and a half months. It made Santana feel needed, she loved the bonding aspect of it, and now, it turned out, her son didn't need her after all. Finn had felt bad that Santana was so upset over it and offered to hand him over and let her nurse him, but she assured him that it was okay, and that he needed to do this. It was nice to see Finn getting to bond with their son too, and he really did appreciate it, but if he was being honest, he would never get tired of seeing Santana nurse their son. He knew if he admitted that, she'd call him a "perv", but he didn't mean it in that way at all. He truly that it was one of the most beautiful and special things he had ever seen. His formerly assertive and outspoken wife was now a mother, and she was amazing at it.

"Yes, I know honey, I breastfed Finn," Carole explained.

"Eww, mom. TMI!" Finn said, rolling his eyes.

"What? That's how babies eat. I'm pretty sure that's why you're such a good athlete. Besides, Santana breastfeeds," Carole shrugged.

"Yes, but Santana is my wife, it's hot when she breastfeeds. You're my mom. I don't want to hear about it."

"Now that is TMI," Carole said, laughing. "Anyways, Santana, thanks so much for letting me watch him for you. And thanks again for naming him Christopher, Finn told me that was your idea. It means more to me than you know"

"It was an honor," Santana assured her. "Topher's grandfather was a hero, and I wish we could have met him. And the only name Finn could come up with was 'Drizzle', so Christopher was a no-brainer"

"He would have loved you both so much," Carole cried. "And Finn, he would have been so proud of you."

"Alright, we need to go," Finn said looking at his watch. "Reservations are in an hour and it's going to take almost that long to get there. Thanks again mom, we won't be too late."

"Yes, thanks so much, mom. Y'all have fun!" Santana added after kissing Christopher fifteen times, and carefully dabbing the tears away from her eyes. "Be good to your grandma, little man," She croaked, and they headed out the door before she completely burst into tears or changed her mind about going.

Carole Hudson was a saint, Santana was convinced of this. They'd bonded the first time Finn took Santana home to meet her, and had been close ever since. She'd always treated Santana as a daughter, and not a daughter-in-law, and Santana was much closer to her than she was to her own mother. The first time she called and asked to speak to Santana instead of him, Finn had rolled his eyes, but he'd gotten used to it, and now he thought it was great. Ever since Finn had been traded to the Browns, Carole had been trying to get transferred to Ohio but had been unsuccessful. She had a great job as a surgical nurse back in North Carolina, but Finn, Santana, and Christopher were the only family she had and she missed them terribly. Her son and daughter-in-law had graciously offered to buy her a house near theirs but she refused because she was too proud. Every time Santana sent her pictures, though, she started to reconsider. That baby was beautiful, and she hated missing out on his life.

Fortunately, though, her job had excellent perks and she got several weeks of paid vacation every year. So now, she was using two of them to fly to Ohio and meet her grandson. Finn was about to start summer training, so she'd spend a week with all of them before he left, and a week after he left to keep Santana company and help her out.

xxxxxxxxx

Although Santana would never admit it in front of Rachel, Breadstix was definitely the best restaurant she had been to since they moved to Ohio. It was in Cleveland, so they hadn't been since Topher was born, but they went once or twice a week when she was pregnant. The food was excellent, and they were legally forbidden to stop bringing you breadsticks! Santana loved them so much that she and Finn joked that they were going to go by there with a wheelbarrow and fill it up. Well, Finn joked about it. Santana was half serious but she knew that might embarrass him. So whenever they ate out since Topher was born, they stayed in Lima and went to Savory. They knew Rachel wouldn't mind them bringing a baby there, and it was easy. It was good too, just not as good as Breadstix.

"Is that all you're gonna eat?" Finn asked as Santana picked at her salad; the only thing she'd ordered. She didn't even finish an entire breadstick.

"I'm not really very hungry," she lied. She was starving. She was pretty sure breastfeeding made her even hungrier than pregnancy had.

"What's going on? You were grabbing imaginary fat earlier and now we're at your favorite restaurant for your birthday, you've only ordered a salad and you've barely touched it." He asked, becoming slightly concerned.

Santana almost had the nerve to ask why he was always going to Dallas, why he came home smelling like perfume when Topher was born, and even if he was cheating on her, but she didn't. They were in a public place, he was famous, and she knew if he asked, he would probably be honest about it, and that would ruin her birthday. Finn may have been keeping something from her, but in all the years they had been together, he had never lied to her face. She knew that much.

"Babe, you have to eat, you're breastfeeding. Why don't you order the fettucine with pesto? It's your favorite." He pleaded. He didn't get it. She had refused wine when he ordered it because she was breastfeeding, even though at Topher's last appointment with the pediatrician, which they had both been to, Dr. Anderson said she could drink in moderation, as long as it was a few hours before Topher's next feeding. So if she would turn down her favorite wine for their baby, why wouldn't she eat for him? It's not like she needed to lose weight either. Finn was completely serious when he had said Santana was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. He thought so when he met her, and when he married her, and he honestly thought she was even more beautiful now that she had had his baby.

"No, that doesn't sound good," she lied again. It sounded amazing. "I'm really not that hungry. But I'll finish my salad and breadstick, just for you. And Topher." She added.

Finn really wished she would eat more, but he wasn't going to make a big deal about it tonight. He didn't want to upset her on her birthday.

"I got you something," he said, when the waitress took their plates away. "You said you wanted bling, but couldn't be any more specific than that, so I had to guess. I hope you like it," he added, pulling out a black velvet box.

"Finn, it's gorgeous," she said, opening it up to find a platinum necklace with a large rectangular pink stone.

"It's a pink diamond. I know how you love pink, and diamonds," he shrugged, as if it was no big deal.

"Finn, this is too much," she said, tears filling her eyes. She had been eyeing pink diamonds for a while, and had a pretty good idea of how expensive one like this was, they were very wealthy, but she figured he had to feel really guilty to get her something like this for her birthday. She was only turning twenty-seven, it wasn't like it was an important birthday like thirty.

"It's not enough," he assured her. "You've been such a patient and understanding wife, and the gift you gave me this year is far more valuable than any jewelry. I'll never be able to repay you for Christopher, but I'm going to try."

"Well, we do have a pretty amazing son," she admitted dreamily. "You helped though."

"Yeah, but I helped with the fun part. You did all the work, you still do."

_It was pretty fun_, Santana thought. Their sex was incredible and frequent before they had Topher. Even after three years of marriage, they had been like newlyweds, or teenagers. But now Santana was always tired, still having to get up several times a night with the baby. They'd made love a handful of times in the past two months since Dr. Wu told her that it was safe, but most of the times they were rushed because Topher would wake up. He was still sleeping in their bed. They'd only move him to his nursery when he was already sleeping, so they wouldn't have to worry about corrupting him when they had sex, even though he was a baby. Which Santana, of course, felt guilty about, but she was trying to be a good wife. But he'd always seem to wake up after a few minutes, sensing that he was in an unfamiliar place. So, Santana would bring him back to their room, and that would be the end of that.

"You want some dessert? It's still pretty early" He asked.

"No, let's get out of here. I miss my baby!

"You got it, let's roll. I love you," He said, leaning in to kiss her.

"I love you too," she said, before leaning in to kiss him back.

xxxxxxxxxxx

"How was he?" Santana asked her mother-in-law when they returned home an hour later.

"He was a perfect little angel. He's in his crib now. I put him to bed about two hours ago. He took the bottle with no problem, had one dirty diaper, we read 'Goodnight Moon'." Carole explained. "How was your dinner?"

"It was very nice. Look what your son got me," Santana said, gesturing to her new necklace.

"That's gorgeous," she smiled. "He's always had great taste."

"Yeah," Santana smiled. "Well, we're gonna go to bed. We'll take this with us so I can take care of Christopher when he wakes up," she said, picking up the baby monitor.

"Are you sure?" Carole asked, "There's still one more bottle in the fridge, I don't mind at all."

"Yeah, we got this, thanks mom." Santana smiled, hugging her before she and Finn went upstairs.

"You think we have time for a quickie?" Finn asked, peeling Santana's dress off of her and kissing her neck.

Before she could answer, Christopher's soft wails were heard over the monitor, and Santana pulled away and reached for her robe.

"San, let my mom get him. She'd love to and there's still another bottle in the fridge," Finn pleaded, but it didn't work. She took off and rushed down the hall to the nursery. Besides missing Topher and feeling bad for leaving him, her breasts were painfully engorged. So she'd either have to nurse him or pump, and she'd much rather be holding her baby than that awful plastic torture device.

"Hey baby," Santana cooed as she picked her son up and pressed his cheek against hers. "Mommy is so sorry she left you and you woke up all alone. That's not going to happen anymore, you're coming back to bed with us where you belong." Finn just sighed as he heard this over the monitor. He wouldn't be getting lucky tonight, again.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Babe?" Finn whispered, but he got no response. It was 2:15 am, Santana was laying on her side nursing the baby for the second time since they had gotten home, and Finn was about to fall out of his own bed.

"San?" He repeated, reaching his arm across her waist and stroking Christopher's pudgy little arm with his finger.

"What?" She hissed, a little more harshly than she had intended, and pushing his arm away.

"Do you think you could..." he started apologetically, "maybe move over a little bit?"

"There's no room," she whispered. "I don't want to the baby to roll off the bed."

"Tell me again why he can't sleep in his crib." he sighed.

Santana instantly felt guilty. She knew there was no reason why he couldn't sleep in his crib. The silly book that her mother sent her recommended co-sleeping, and she was taking her own role as a mother very seriously, trying to do everything perfectly, but most babies slept in cribs and they were just fine. Truthfully, it was just as much for her benefit too. She missed him enough when he was sleeping next to her, the thought of him sleeping in another room was unbearable to her. She'd miss him too much. "He's nursing," she whispered.

"Okay, well when he's done, can't he go back to his crib?"

"He's happy here," she replied, rubbing Christopher's cheek and watching his adorable little mouth work. He was so sweet, so soft, so perfect. She wanted to stay like this forever.

"Yes," Finn said calmly. "But I'm unhappy here. I'm about to fall out of my own bed."

"Can't you just suck it up? He's brand new!"

"How long are you planning on keeping him in here with us?" Finn asked.

"I don't know," she sighed. _Forever_, is what she wanted to say.

"Look, Santana. Babies sleep in cribs. You and I both slept in cribs and we turned out fine," he reasoned.

"Yes, we slept in cribs. My mother also drank, snorted, and smoked everything in sight when she was pregnant, and then left me with a nanny when I was six weeks old. We know better now. That's all." She explained. "And besides, there are lots of studies on the benefits of co-sleeping."

"Except that none of us are sleeping!" Finn whined. "I can't move because I'll either roll over the baby or roll off the bed. I can't cough or sneeze or fart because I'll wake him up. You're not sleeping because Topher knows all he has to do is whimper and you whip a boob out."

"I'm sorry," Santana offered, feeling even guiltier. "Maybe we should get a bigger bed?"

"I had this one custom made," Finn sighed. "Come here," he said, reaching for her, his fingers grazing the breast that wasn't being occupied by their son.

"Ouch!" She hissed.

"Sorry," he mumbled, pulling his hand away."

"They're just sensitive," she sighed, almost in tears. Santana was fully committed to breastfeeding. Even though the other players' wives had warned her that it would ruin her boobs, and her mother argued that formula was just as good. She didn't care what it would do to her boobs, and if they really looked that bad after kids, then she could get another boob job. They had the money, and she didn't remember the recovery being that bad. And she knew her mother was wrong, formula was not just as good. Sometimes it was really painful though, and there were days where it seemed like she would never get her boob out of Christopher's mouth. She didn't know what she was going to do when he got teeth, but she'd have to figure it out. Her book said to think of breastfeeding in terms of years, not months, and everything else recommended it for at least one year, some said two, others said as long as possible beyond that. She didn't know about years, though. Ever since her mother suggested she get Topher on bottles now so she won't still be nursing him in kindergarten, she'd been having nightmares about it. Every time he was older and older in the dream and it terrified her. Still though, she had to make it at least a year. Formula wasn't good enough for her son, so she'd deal with it.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "Is it supposed to be this hard?"

"What, breastfeeding?"

"No," he said sadly. "Everything. I'm gonna go sleep down the hall," he sighed, leaning over to kiss Santana on the forehead. Then he leaned over to kiss the baby, but Santana waved him away.

"He's almost asleep!" She hissed.

"Sorry," he sighed, and Santana rolled over as she heard him leave the room.

Being more comfortable, she kissed her son, closed her eyes and fell asleep. By the time she woke up in the morning, Finn had left for training camp.


	20. July: Tina

a/n: Insomnia kind of sucks, but it gives me time to update my stories, so here you go! Thanks so much for all the reviews on the last chapter. A lot of you are concerned/sad about Finn and Santana. Let me just say that Santana is without a doubt my favorite character, and I LOVE the thought of her and Finn together. So be patient, my dears. It's not about happy middles. Also, I know a lot of you are waiting for Quinn to return. She'll be back next chapter and then she'll be a more regular part of the story after that! So thanks for being patient. I know my Tina chapters are not nearly as popular as some of the others, but I hope y'all enjoy this!

xxxxxxxxx

It had now been a month since Tina had given birth, and she was finally allowed to leave the house. Her mother-in-law had been over every day since Lily was born to bring her disgusting food and see that she did nothing but look after her baby. She really hated these Chinese traditions sometimes, and she wasn't even Chinese! Her grandparents had been born in Korea, although her parents were raised very American, and so was she. But, it was important to Mike and his mother, so she put up with it.

"What do you think you're doing?" Mike asked, coming up behind his wife and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I'm just dying the eggs for the party," Tina replied.

"Uh-oh, my mom's not gonna like this. You need to rest," he explained in his adorable way.

"But I've been resting for a month, I'm fine. I can handle dying some eggs. Your mom has been taking care of me since Lily was born. I feel bad for doing nothing." Tina said, trying not to sound too whiney. She wasn't tired. She slept whenever the baby slept, because unlike other mothers, she didn't have laundry, dishes, or cooking to do, and Lily slept a lot. She was bored out of her mind, she missed interacting with other adults, she'd played Angry Birds so much that it was boring to her now. Her legs were a little weak , but that's because she had been in bed for a month, and she knew that standing or moving around would help with that.

"You take care of Lily, that's not doing nothing. Sit and relax," Mike insisted. Tina didn't have time to argue, Lily chose that time to start wailing. Tina looked at the clock and sighed, it was time for Lily to eat, and Tina was the only one who could feed her, so she wouldn't be helping after all.

Two hours later, the entire Chang family met their closest friends at their favorite Chinese restaurant for Dim Sum. Tina was so beyond sick of Chinese food. She wanted to go to a normal restaurant and have a salad, but this was not the time to bring that up. Today was a special day, at least according to Mike's family. When a Chinese baby made it through their first month, a party would be thrown to introduce the baby to their friends and family. The baby would be lavished with gifts, and in return, they would thank all their guests with a red hard-boiled egg and some ginger. Tina felt guilty for that too. She'd already had a baby shower where her friends bought expensive gifts, so she called most of them and told them to just show up, because she couldn't wait to show her baby off! She hadn't met Evita, Whitney, or Nathan yet, and it had been a while since she'd seen Topher, so she was especially excited to catch up with her yoga mommy friends.

"She's gorgeous!" Mercedes gushed, as she and Tina traded babies. "And so light, Whitney probably weighs more than her already."

"Thanks," Tina replied. "Mike calls her our little dumpling. He tried calling her a pot sticker, but dumpling is much cuter! Whitney is beautiful too, such a perfect combination of you and Kurt."

Whitney really was a beautiful baby. She had the most beautiful complexion, and Kurt's blue-green eyes. She seemed to get the best of both of her parents, and they both loved to show her off. Lily was beautiful too, everything about her was so tiny, delicate, and feminine.

"Hi Tina, Mike," Kurt said, coming up behind them with an older man. "This is my dad, Burt."

"Nice to meet you both," Burt said, extending his hand. "Thanks again for inviting me."

"The more the merrier. I have another friend whose mother-in-law is also visiting, so she's coming too," Tina explained. "Actually, I think I see them now," she added, seeing Santana enter the restaurant with a middle aged woman who had Christopher in her arms.

"Hey y'all" Santana drawled as she joined the group. "This is my mother-in-law Carole. Carole, this is Tina, Mike, their daughter Lily, Mercedes, her daughter Whitney, and you must be Kurt?" She said, turning to him. "Hi, I'm Santana, and this is my son Christopher."

"Yes, I'm Kurt, it's nice to finally meet you. Your son is so cute," he said, noticing the baby in Carole's arms.

"Thanks, and so are Whitney, and Lily, we all made some pretty cute babies," she laughed.

"So, Santana, will your husband be joining us today?" Kurt asked casually.

"No, he's at training camp right now, so Carole is helping out."

"Oh really? What does he do?" He asked, as if he didn't know. Mercedes was behind him rolling her eyes.

"He's a football player," she explained, reaching for Christopher who had begun to fuss, but calmed down as soon as he was in his mother's arms. Christopher loved his grandmother and did great with her most of the time, but like most babies, sometimes he only wanted his mom. That was fine with Santana too. She loved Carole, and it was nice to give her arms a break, but she still missed him when she wasn't holding him.

"Oh yeah, I remember Mercedes saying something about that. What is his name?" he asked and Mercedes and Tina had to walk away before they started cracking up. Here he was, talking to definitive proof that he wasn't Finn's type, and still trying to act casual, as if he had a chance.

"Finn Hudson, he plays for the Browns," she said proudly. She was very proud of him, he was one of the top ranked football players in the NFL. She just hated that he was away so often.

"Yes, I think I've heard of him, that name does sound familiar," He shrugged.

The other two women returned to the group when they noticed Brittany and Rachel approaching with their husbands and babies, Mercedes making a mental note to tell Santana about Kurt's Finn crush later.

After all the husbands had been introduced and the women spent a good ten minutes gushing over the babies, it was time to eat. It wasn't a big party, just mostly their family, and a few of Tina's co-workers. Her yoga friends had become her closest friends lately, and the ones she could relate to the most. They all enjoyed a lovely meal, and Tina and Mike opened some very generous gifts from their friends, mostly jewelry for the baby, as was customary. Things were winding down when Nathan started to fuss, causing all the other babies to fuss as well.

"I need to feed him," Brittany told Tina, looking around for a semi-private place to do that.

"Let's go to the back room, it's empty. I need to feed Lily too and it seems like the other babies are hungry too." Tina explained.

They all went back there, and Tina, Brittany, Santana, and Rachel started nursing their babies while Mercedes pulled out a bottle.

"So you decided not to breastfeed?" Rachel asked, trying not to sound too judgmental of her friend.

"Yeah, well I'm still pumping a little bit to let my milk dry up slowly, and I figure I might as well still give it to her while I have it. She still gets breast milk about half the time, but honestly, I hate pumping," Mercedes explained, trying not to sound too defensive about it. She wasn't offended by Rachel asking about it, because she didn't think Rachel was being rude, but some of the reactions she had gotten from other people had been rude.

"Well the first few weeks are the hardest," Rachel explained, "but it does get easier, right Santana?"

"Yeah, it does," the Latina explained. "But I know it's not for everyone." Santana was obviously pro-breastfeeding, but she didn't want to insult her friend. Rachel had very strong opionions, and let them be heard whether people wanted to hear them or not. They loved her in spite of it though. High school Santana had been the same way, but her experience in the pageants had taught her to be a bit more diplomatic and keep certain opinions to herself.

"Yeah, I tried it. It's not for me, and that's okay. Kurt does the feedings at night, and I actually get to sleep, so it's great. I will say though, that formula poop is definitely grosser than breast milk poop, so stick with it if you can!" Mercedes laughed.

"I don't know, Nathan's poop is still pretty gross, and he only gets breast milk." Brittany shrugged.

"Well it's poop, it's gross regardless. But trust me, formula makes it grosser!"

"I didn't poop for five days after Lily was born," Tina admitted after a moment of awkward silence. Not that she was sure that would make it any less awkward, but Santana and Mercedes started laughing. "It's true! Then finally I was so uncomfortable, my mother-in-law gave me some gross Chinese tea, and that did the trick!"

"I think it took me four or five days too," Mercedes finally admitted. "Kurt had to go out and get me stool softeners! With all the other things I've had to have him get for me since I've had Whitney, he is so grossed out. If he wasn't gay before, he definitely is now!"

"It took me a week. Stupid c-section," Rachel sighed, her demeanor suddenly turning somber at the subject.

"Oh, that's nothing. I didn't go for ten days after Nathan was born. I was in so much pain from my tear and scared of busting my stitches." Brittany explained. "What about you Santana?"

"I don't know, a few days," Santana shrugged, not really comfortable talking about that particular bodily function. She was a pageant queen from the South, they simply didn't discuss these things. "Let's just say that you win though, bless your heart. That must have been awful!"

"Yeah it sucked. And my tummy is disgusting, I love my new boobs though!" Brittany admitted excitedly. "They're great. I hope they stay this big!"

"I do too. I mean, I love mine too. I don't care about yours. No offense, Brittany," Rachel laughed. "I never had much up top before, even though I'm a little heavy, so it's nice to be more balanced.

"Guys, this is the first time we've all hung out together in a month and all we've talked about our boobs and poop! What's wrong with us?" Mercedes laughed.

"Get used to it! I'm almost four months into it and those are the two most common topics in our house too," Santana joked.

"Oh my God you guys, my dad and Finn's mom are totally flirting with each other. you should see it!" Kurt announced, rushing into the back room.

"Sweet Jesus, what did you do?" Mercedes asked, rolling her eyes.

"Nothing, I just encouraged them to talk. They both have dead spouses, it's perfect!"

Mercedes and Santana both rolled their eyes, and then Santana switched Topher to her other breast. It was then that Kurt realized what she and the three other women were doing, turned pale and started stuttering.

"What's the matter Kurt?" Mercedes asked.

"I just didn't realize what was going on in here," Kurt explained, looking at his shoes.

"They're just breastfeeding, it's natural. Besides, you're gay. If they're not uncomfortable doing it in front of you, you shouldn't be uncomfortable seeing it," she laughed.

"Well I am uncomfortable! I'm gay, I don't like breasts, I don't want to see them, I don't even like saying that word," he said before turning and leaving the back room.

xxxxxxxx

"That party was nice," Mike said, sitting on the couch, gently rubbing Tina's arm. It was 9pm and Lily was asleep and they finally had their house to themselves.

"Yeah it was. Our friends are so generous, and it was so nice to see them, even nicer to get out of the house!" Tina admitted. "I swear if I had to stay in bed even one more day, I would have gone crazy! Did you enjoy talking to the guys?"

"I did. They're all pretty cool. It's nice to be around straight men for a change." Mike had gotten used to the fact, that there were very few straight men in the dancing community. It was mostly women and gay men, even among his students, and employees at the dance studio, and he was cool with that. It was nice to talk about sports with Noah and Artie though. Not that no women or gay men liked sports, but the ones at the studio weren't particularly into it, and Kurt wasn't either. "Kurt was cool too, although he started acting a little funny toward the end."

"Oh yeah, about that; He walked in on us breastfeeding! Brittany, Rachel, and I were being pretty discreet about it, but Santana had to switch sides and kind of flashed him," she laughed.

"Well, that explains it," he admitted. Feeling second-hand embarrassment for him. "Anyways, my mom has finally gone home, and Lily is sleeping for now. What do you want to do?" Mike asked, hoping she was thinking what he was thinking.

"Sleep," she admitted. "I'm actually kind of tired. Will you hold me?"

"You got it babe. I love you" he said, leaning down to kiss her head, and she was already out.


	21. August: Rachel

What is your problem?" Rachel asked, a little more harshly than she probably should have, but she was frustrated. It was eight o'clock in the morning, and she had gone into a closed "Savory" to work out a new menu, but four week old Evita Caroline had been screaming, not crying, but screaming for the better part of an hour, and Rachel had yet to get any actual work done. She tried nursing her again, but Evita didn't seem to be hungry, she tried burping her but that didn't help either, and a quick check of her diaper proved that everything was okay in that department too. No matter what she did, Evita continued to scream, and Rachel was about to pull her hair out.

"Look, you're clean, you're dry, you've got a full tummy, you're being held, and even though you may not be particularly liked at the moment, you're definitely loved. So please be quiet, mommy is not getting any work done with you screaming in her ear!" Talking to her definitely wasn't working, so Rachel thought singing might help."What is this feeling?" She started, singing the first song that came to mind as she stood up and gently bounced the baby as she walked around the room. "So sudden and new. I felt the moment I laid eyes on you. My pulse is rushing. My head is reeling. My face is flushing. What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame, does it have a name? Yes! Loathing, unadulterated loathing for your face, your voice..." Suddenly she realized what she was saying and stopped. Even though she definitely didn't loathe her baby, and she was only singing this song because she loved Wicked and couldn't think of anything else at the moment. She was pretty sure singing that song to a newborn made her shoo-in for the "Worst Mom of the Year" Award, but being four weeks old, Evita didn't understand the words her mother was singing, just like she didn't understand her pleas to stop crying, and it did nothing. Evita didn't stop crying, she didn't cry harder either, but that's probably because it wasn't possible for her to cry any harder.

"Maybe we need some fresh air?" She suggested as she grabbed her phone and carefully made her way to the front steps of the restaurant.

"Oh, hi," Rachel said as she stepped outside and realized that she wasn't alone. Across the street, on the steps of a vacant building was the woman with dark roots and a faded coat who she had seen in the coffee shop, and many times at the park.

Realizing she had been caught, the woman jumped to her feet and quickly started walking toward the park. "Hey," Rachel yelled, chasing after her. She was curious mostly, she didn't feel threatened by the woman. She looked sad, broken, but not dangerous. She usually had good instincts, and hoped she was right about this, as she followed the stranger who'd been following her for months. "Wait," she called, as both women picked up their pace. Rachel was closing in on her despite the fact that she was wearing slippers and carrying a cranky baby. "Please stop," she pleaded, and that did the trick because the woman froze in her tracks.

"What were you doing there?" She asked as she caught up to the woman. The blonde slowly turned around, and Rachel could see that despite her dull skin, the bags under her eyes, the sad expression on her face, and the awful roots that she was beautiful, and she looked strangely familiar.

"I'm sorry," the woman mumbled, looking mortified and incredibly sad. "I'm so sorry."

"What were you doing in front of the restaurant?" Rachel asked again. "Are you hungry?"

"No. No, I don't think so," The blonde answered after thinking about it for a few seconds.

"Then why…?," Rachel started again cautiously, noticing that the woman looked like she might take off running again at any second.

"I heard your baby crying," she said, as she reached out to touch the now quiet and curious baby's foot."She's so beautiful."

For some reason unknown to her, Rachel didn't back away or freak out at this stranger touching her baby. It all seemed harmless, and Rachel hoped that it was, and not that her judgment had been clouded by lack of sleep.

"Thanks. Her name is Evita, I'm Rachel," she said cautiously.

"My name's Quinn."

As soon as Quinn introduced herself, Rachel realized who she was, and why she looked so familiar. Quinn Fabray was her name, and her married name was Quinn Evans. She had been in several made-for-t.v. movies that Rachel had seen over last few months as she stayed up with heartburn, or pregnancy related insomnia, or a fussy baby.

"Here," Quinn said, pulling an un-opened pacifier out of what Rachel realized was a diaper bag, and handing it to her. _So this is where all the baby gifts had been coming from, _Rachel thought, remembering the spoon, and the Gripe Water, the pink onesie, and the lamb blanket.

"Please take it," Quinn insisted, placing it in Rachel's hand. "I don't need it. I'm sorry I scared you. I'm sorry I have been everywhere. I'm sorry I was outside your restaurant. I've seen you at the park and you just looked so happy, and I wanted to you to have this stuff. This morning I was taking a walk, and I heard your baby crying, and I stopped. I don't even know why," she explained sadly.

"Are you thirsty? I could make you some coffee or tea or even water. When I was little and I was sad, my dads used to bring me a glass of water. I got to the point where I didn't know if I was sad or thirsty, so now water always seems to help," Rachel explained.

"I guess I am thirsty," Quinn shrugged.

"Come with me," Rachel said, taking Quinn by the hand and leading her back to the restaurant. Once inside, Evita started screaming again.

"It sounds like a gassy cry," Quinn offered.

"Well, I tried burping her, but I'll try it again," Rachel sighed, placing the baby on her shoulder and tapped her gently.

"I don't mean to sound like a know-it-all, but that's not going to work. You've got to hit her a little harder than that or you'll never get a burp. You won't hurt her, I promise," Quinn explained.

Rachel did as she was told, and Evita promptly burped, and expelled a large amount of spit-up on the massive burp rag Rachel had over her shoulder. Evita spit up frequently after most meals, and Rachel had learned to always carry lots of burp cloths with her. "I don't care what they call it," she said, turning to Quinn. "It's not spit up, it's barf and it's not cute. Being thrown up on just does something to a person!"

Quinn just laughed lightly, "now, that was a lot of spit-up, so she'll probably be hungry again."

Again, Rachel took the advice and brought Evita to her breast, where she latched on eagerly.

"How did you know?" She asked, looking up at the blonde.

"I had a baby in December," Quinn said sadly.

It was then that Rachel remembered. She had been sitting up one night, watching the news while waiting for Noah to come home when the report came on. "We are sad to report that Elizabeth Evans, the three month old daughter of actress Quinn Evans and Country singer Sam Evans died yesterday. Our prayers and condolences go out to them". _Oh my God. _They sat in silence for a few minutes until Evita was full, and Rachel burped her, firmly, just like Quinn had showed her, and laid her down in her carrier.

"I'm going to make breakfast," Rachel announced , picking the carrier up, and dragging a chair to the kitchen for Quinn. "Come with me."

"I grew up here," Quinn said as she watched Rachel carefully pour some batter into the waffle iron."I moved to Hollywood when I was eighteen to become an actress and I moved back after…"

"After," Rachel said quietly, knowing what Quinn was referring to.

"I wasn't even planning on coming back. My husband was wonderful, but one night I saw a baby and it was just too much. I left with just this bag. He doesn't even know where I am. Anyways, then I saw you in April, and I had all this baby stuff that I didn't need, so I thought you should have it. I watched you for a while, you and your friends. I don't know their names."

"Well, there's Brittany, she's the blonde. Her baby is Nathan, and she logs every feeding, dirty diaper, and how long he naps. She's very organized! Santana is the Latina. Her baby is Christoper, and I don't think she's ever put him down. She's very into attachment parenting. Her husband plays for The Browns, and they live in this huge, amazing mansion in Lima Heights."

"Isn't Lima Heights the ghetto?" Quinn asked, a puzzled expression on her face.

"You're thinking of Lima Heights Adjacent," she clarified. "Lima Heights is that fancy neighborhood on the hill that overlooks the city. Anyways, then there's Mercedes, she's the black one. She is a single wedding singer, who wanted a baby so she had one with her gay best friend, their baby is named Whitney Patricia, after their Idols Whitney Houston, and Patti Lupone."

"That's kind of awesome," Quinn smiled. "And Evita, did you name her after Eva Peron?"

"I did," Rachel blushed. "I'm obsessed with musicals, and I wanted to name her Elphaba because Wicked is my favorite, but my husband wouldn't go for it. But Evita is my second favorite, so he agreed to that one. Anyways, and then there's Tina, she's the Asian. She and her husband are even more nauseatingly in love than my husband and I are, and her baby's name is Lily."

"Must be nice, I never had any mom friends. All my friends were single and into partying, and once I got pregnant, we kind of drifted apart because we didn't have anything in common anymore," Quinn sighed.

"Yeah, we met in a prenatal yoga class. I probably would have never met them if it wasn't for that, we're all so different." Rachel explained. "But I'm glad I did. We've gotten really close, and none of my other friends have babies either."

"Anyways, I'm so sorry I watched you. I'm sorry I seemed to turn up everywhere you were. I'm not even sure why I did it, it just kind of happened. I guess I went crazy."

"I understand…." Rachel started. "No, actually I don't. I can't even imagine what you went through. I'm so sorry."

They looked at each other sadly for a few seconds before Rachel pulled the last waffle from the iron and sat down. "Breakfast is ready," she smiled.

As soon as Rachel sat down, Evita began to cry again. "I forgot coffee, can you hold her?" She asked Quinn without even thinking.

Quinn looked hesitant, her face becoming pale again, and Rachel was about to apologize and tell her she didn't have to when the blonde reached down, smiled at that baby and placed her on her shoulder. After settling her, she stood up, glided around the room, and began to sing in a voice that was slightly breathy, slightly nasally, but pleasant and sweet.

"Where it began  
I can't begin to knowin'  
But then I know it's growin' strong

Was in the spring  
And spring became a summer  
Who'd have believed you'd come along

Hands, touchin' hands  
Reachin' out  
Touchin' me  
Touchin' you

Sweet Caroline  
Good times never seemed so good  
I've been inclined  
To believe they never would  
But now I

Look at the night  
And it don't seem so lonely  
We fill it up with only two  
And when I hurt  
Hurtin' runs off my shoulders  
How can I hurt when holdin' you

Warm, touchin' warm  
Reachin' out  
Touchin' me  
Touchin' you

Sweet Caroline  
Good times never seemed so good  
I've been inclined  
To believe they never would  
Oh,Lord, no

Sweet Caroline  
Good times never seemed so good  
Sweet Caroline  
I believed they never could  
Sweet Caroline"

Rachel held her breath, _how could she have known_? She hadn't revealed her daughter's full name to the woman, and as far as she could remember, she'd never used it in public. She mostly referred to her as "crabby pants", "fuss bucket," or some other equally endearing name relating to her favorite pastime. The sweet voice and gentle rocking soothed the baby, and she relaxed her head on the blonde's shoulder and promptly fell asleep.

Quinn put her back in her carrier and noticed the way Rachel was staring at her in awe.

"My dad used to sing that to me when I was young. He loved Neil Diamond," she shrugged.

"Thank you, I know that was hard for you. And thanks for introducing yourself. I'm so glad we finally met. I just want you to know that I'm here if you ever need anything. I know you're lonely, but you're not alone. I'm gonna hug you now," Rachel said, pulling the other woman into an embrace, careful not to break her. She looked so thin and fragile.

-Please Review! :)


	22. August: Mercedes

a/n: wow, I have over 100 reviews! Thanks so much guys and gals, (mostly gals reading this story I think!). They mean so much to me, and since I'm new at this, it's so nice to know that some people are enjoying it. Sorry it took so long to update, but stuff came up. I'll have the next chapter up sooner than two weeks! Enjoy and please review! :)

* * *

"I think we need to find a new Pediatrician," Kurt said as he was sitting at the kitchen table feeding Whitney.

"Why? Dr. Anderson is the best in Lima. Do you know how many strings Rachel had to pull to get us in there?" Mercedes sighed as she brought the salad to the table. It had been an incredibly hot few weeks, and neither of them felt like cooking or eating anything warm. So, there had been lots of salads and fresh fruits and vegetables consumed, and they had both lost a bit of weight.

"Yeah, he is one of the best. He also asked me out."

"Come again?" Mercedes asked.

"That's what she said…" Kurt mumbled under his breath.

"Who is she?" Mercedes asked, clearly not getting the joke. "Dr. Anderson is a guy."

"Yes, I am aware that Dr. Anderson is a guy," Kurt explained. "Anyways, I was at the Lima Bean getting my daily grande nonfat mocha and he was there and he asked me out. We even had the same drink order, it was fantastic!"

"He's gay? I thought he was hitting on me when we took Whitney to her six week appointment."

"Seriously Whitney, your mother has no gaydar," Kurt said to the baby as he put her over his shoulder to burp her."What made you think he was hitting on you?"

"He complimented me on my weight loss, and my outfit," she said proudly.

"That's not gay at all," Kurt said sarcastically. "But he seems really great, and you know I haven't had a promising relationship in years, and I just have a really good feeling about this. But it wouldn't be appropriate for him to treat our daughter if we're dating. So we need to switch doctors. He highly recommends Dr. Bailey, and assured us that he would be able to get us into her practice. So, please? You know I wouldn't ask you to do this if it wasn't really important."

Kurt had put Whitney in her swing and currently had his hands folded as he gave her the most pathetic puppy dog look. Mercedes just could not refuse that look. "Fine," she sighed. "I have heard great things about Dr. Bailey too, Brittany and Tina take their babies to her practice, but you're lucky I love you!"

"Yes!" Kurt shrieked. It startled Whitney, and for a second she looked as if she was about to cry, but Mercedes shook her keys in front of the baby, and all was forgotten. "Thank you so much baby-mama, you have no idea how much this means to me."

"So what are your plans?" She asked, and then finally taking a bite of her salad.

"Well, he wants to take me to a restaurant in Cleveland. Breadsticks, or something like that? Unfortunately, he isn't ready to date in Lima, he's afraid of patients seeing us and knowing he's gay and leaving the practice." He sighed. "But I can understand that I guess. I have accepted that I may be more stereotypically gay than he is, and there's no point in trying to hide it, and it doesn't affect my business, but he's a little more reserved, so I can see where he's coming from."

"Oooh, Santana raves about Breadstix. She says it's her favorite restaurant, and you know they can afford to go anywhere."

"Well then, we'll have to go sometime. Blaine, Dr. Anderson, and I are going on Friday. But maybe we could go next weekend? I know my dad is dying to watch Whitney," Kurt said.

"It's a date," Mercedes smiled.

"So, how was your appointment with the lady-parts doctor?" He asked a few moments later.

"You mean the Gynecologist?" She asked, rolling her eyes. "It was fine. My blood pressure is back to normal, I've lost thirty five pounds, and I tried not to laugh too hard when he said I was cleared for sexual activity. It's been so long, I'm sure I can say I'm a born again virgin. And trust me, after giving birth, I'm not in any hurry to change that. I'm glad you'll be getting some though!"

"Mercedes, it's the first date!" He exclaimed, feigning shock. "We'll see where it goes, though, but we really shouldn't be having this conversation in front of Whitney."

"You poor thing," he said turning to the infant, "not only is your mom's gaydar busted, but she's also a pervert!"

"Oh please, she's six weeks old, she doesn't know what we're saying."

"I know, but we should start being careful, and censoring ourselves a little bit. She'll start to pick up on things in the next few months, and I really don't want her first word to be anything to do with... s-e-x," he explained, whispering the last part, even though he was spelling it out. "Congrats on your weightloss though, that is great!"

Whitney's six week appointment had gone well too. She was in the 90th percentile for height and weight and was perfectly healthy and on track. She had to get some shots, and Kurt had cried, Mercedes had laughed at him, and Whitney as a trooper. She didn't seem to notice them, and didn't even fuss. Their conversation was interrupted when Whitney suddenly started crying and squirming around in her swing.

"What's the matter, diva?" Kurt asked, picking her up and settling her on his shoulder, where she promptly spit up all over him, and then stopped crying.

"Oh my God, oh my God, Oh my God," he mumbled, holding the baby at arms' length as if she were some type of explosive. "Seriously, you're lucky you're cute because you're so gross!"

"It's just a little spit up, you need to calm down. Besides, you should be glad that that bottle was breast milk. Formula actually stains," Mercedes said, taking Whitney from him and settling her into her arms. Kurt started gagging upon learning that it was breast milk, and began wiping at his sweater furiously, and the six-and-a-half week old must have thought it was pretty funny because she let out her first laugh.

"Is that funny? Daddy is funny, isn't he, baby girl?" She cooed, tickling Whitney, and causing her to giggle even louder.

"There is nothing funny about this," he hissed. "This is a brand new Marc Jacobs!"

"Well maybe you should change into something a little more casual when you get home? Babies are messy, which is why I usually wear sweats. And I've been wondering, is that a _men's _sweater?" She asked, honestly curious.

"Fashion has no gender," he huffed, heading into his bedroom to change.

"Hurry back," she called after him, "It's bath night, and you're helping!"

An hour later, Whitney had been bathed and put to bed, and her parents were in the living room enjoying a glass of wine."What is your schedule like tomorrow?" Mercedes asked.

"I'm not seeing any clients until 1:00, but I'll go in before that to work on drawings and order some materials. Why?"

"Well, I think I'm ready to go back to work," she explained cautiously, not sure how he would react. "So, in the morning, I've got three potential baby-sitters lined up for interviews. You know, for the times that I have to meet with clients while you're at work. It won't be an every- day thing."

"I think that's great," he said sincerely. "You're wonderful with her, but I know you love your job, and want a little outside interaction. I'm happy for you, and it'll be nice to get her used to other people."

"Do you think you could stay home in the morning and help me interview? I think this is a decision we should make together," she asked.

"You bet, let's get some rest, we're going to be woken up in a few hours," he said, downing his wine, and reaching for her hand.

a/n: Please review


	23. August: Brittany

a/n: yes, I suck. Hopefully I'm back on track now! Thanks for all the reviews...To the anonymous reviewer, Finn and Santana will address their issues, but not quite yet. You'll find out how Beth died soon though. And, once some more stuff happens between Finn and Santana, I have an idea for a one-shot companion piece on them, based on a song I heard. So I'll let y'all know when that is up. Also, to make up for their unhappiness so far in this chapter, I have started a series of HAPPY one-shots about them called "Best Days of Your Life." I've had some major major writer's block, but I think I'm over it, so I'll try to work on that more too.

Sometimes Brittany hated how smart Artie was. Today she had her six week postnatal check-up, and Artie knew exactly what that meant. He'd been moping around the house for two months, but today he had a goofy grin on his face, and a little more pep. She had to give him points for at least showering, shaving and putting on a clean wife-beater and boxers, but still, she was exhausted, her stitches still hurt, and he wasn't exactly turning her on these days.

She dragged herself out of bed, after getting about three hours of combined sleep the night before, she was so exhausted that she only took a quick shower, not even caring that she didn't bother to shave her legs, or any of the other areas that she used to keep fastidiously groomed, for that matter. She put on a clean nursing bra and granny panties, and tried not to get too depressed as she dressed in her maternity clothes. She was nowhere near her pre-pregnancy size so far, and with neither of them working, she couldn't justify buying new clothes. Being in her twenties, and a dancer who had always been in great shape, she naively assumed she'd get her figure back quickly. After-all, Santana seemed to have gotten hers back with no problem, and she was only a year younger than Brittany. And of course, she'd read that breastfeeding was supposed to burn five hundred calories a day. So, the fact that it hadn't happened that way for her made her want to cry. She'd gone out for diapers one day last week, and someone asked her when she was due, while she was holding her new baby and his diapers. She came home and cried for an hour. Artie rubbed her back and told her she was hot and that that person was stupid, but she knew exactly what he was doing when his hand travelled lower and he squeezed her ass. At least she had hope that if she would be cleared for sex, that she would be cleared to exercise too, and she'd be able to get some of this weight off.

"Looks like you're healing up nicely," Dr. Wu said from between her legs. "You're free to resume all normal activities."

"Really?" She blinked. "But I had a third degree tear."

"Yes, and it's all healed. You're good to exercise, go in a hot tub, you can even have sex," he said cheerfully, figuring that this would be wonderful news to the young woman.

Brittany didn't know whether to laugh or cry at first, but her frustration, exhaustion, and hormones took over for her and she burst into tears.

Thirty minutes later, she and Nathan were at the park, walking with Santana and Topher. They were the only ones that could get there right away, and Brittany knew she couldn't waste too much time. Unfortunately, Artie would never believe that she was at the doctor all day, as much as she wanted to pretend she was.

"How did your appointment go?" Santana asked as she walked next to Brittany, with a four month old Christopher strapped to her chest in a sling.

"It was fine. Apparently I'm all healed up. Why aren't you using your stroller? Isn't he heavy?"

"Not really," the Latina assured her. "Plus it makes him feel more secure, and I like having him close to me."

The truth was, he was heavy, and it kind of hurt her shoulders, but she was still determined to do everything perfectly. The last thing she wanted to do was screw her son up, so she strived to be the exact opposite of her own mother.

"Did you and Finn have sex as soon as the doctor cleared you?" Brittany asked a few moments later.

"Yeah, I barely made it back in the house before we got to it! I was nervous, but Finn was so anxious. He was acting like a kid on Christmas. But it was fine."

"Oh." Brittany replied, despondently.

Santana could tell that that was not the answer Brittany wanted to hear. She wanted to be told that it was so painful that she should wait, so she wouldn't feel so guilty about not wanting to have sex with her husband.

"But Topher was like half the size that Nathan was, and I didn't tear!" She quickly added. "If you're not ready, then just tell Artie that, I'm sure he'll understand."

"Yeah, I cried when Dr. Wu told me I was good to go," Brittany admitted. "He said he'd back me up if I wanted to tell Artie I couldn't have sex yet. I don't think Artie will understand though. He knows what the six week appointment means and he was so excited when I was leaving this morning."

"You poor thing," Santana cooed, as if she was talking to Christopher.

They finished their walk in relative silence. Brittany wanted to tell Santana that the real reason she didn't want to have sex yet was because Artie was unemployed and not even looking, and that he rarely got dressed anymore. That she was so mad and frustrated with him, but she didn't. What she didn't know was that Santana was spending the quiet moments contemplating whether she should tell her friend that she thought her own husband was cheating on her. Both women kept their fears and frustrations to themselves though, because they each thought the other one had the perfect marriage.

"How did your appointment go?" Artie asked as soon as Brittany walked through the door. Brittany knew that he was more concerned about his own needs than her health and that what he meant by that was: "So, can we do it now?"

She momentarily thought about taking Dr. Wu up on his offer to lie and saying that she wasn't ready yet, but Artie was looking so hopeful and pathetic at the same time that she gave in. She figured she couldn't put it off forever, and she hoped that maybe if he got some action, he'd feel better about things and maybe start looking for a job. It was a long shot, but she figured she'd try it.

"It was great," she said, forcing a smile. "Dr. Wu said I'm healing up perfectly."

"Glad to hear it," Artie said, rubbing her inner thigh and working his way up."So, that means….?"

Brittany just turned away and rolled her eyes. She was hoping she could at least wait until that night after she had put Nathan to bed, but Artie was way too excited, and she just decided not to postpone the inevitable.

"Let me just put Nate in his crib, and I'll meet you in the bedroom," she said in a husky voice. She felt fat and her legs were hairier than she'd ever let them get before, so she figured she better at least try to sound sexy.

Post-baby sex was every bit as painful as she thought it would be. In fact, she was pretty sure that the intern that sewed up her tear had made a mistake and re-virginized her. But she put on a brave face, and hoped her moans of pain sounded like moans of pleasure. Apparently they did; Artie was convinced. But at least with the pain, and the fact that she had to do most of the work because of Artie's paralysis, it ensured that she didn't fall asleep during their romp. She was beyond exhausted, and she was sure that if she just had to lay there, she would have fallen asleep. Artie was thrilled, until Nathan woke up crying, causing her breasts to leak.

"It's just a little milk, it's no big deal." She assured him. She'd just had a baby, what did he expect?

He was still horrified and furiously wiped his hand on her thigh. She quickly got off of him, threw on her granny panties and a night gown and headed to the nursery. As rude as she thought Artie was being about something that she couldn't help, she was kind of glad it had happened. Maybe now it would be a while before he wanted sex again.


	24. August: Santana

Santana self-consciously pulled the top of her camisole up for what felt like the millionth time that day, hoping the man across from her wouldn't notice. Her milk-heavy breasts kept causing it to ride down, but what could she do? She'd only gotten the call the night before that they wanted her to stop by in the morning for an interview, and she didn't have time to buy any new suits. Although she looked great, especialy for someone who had recently given birth, her body wasn't exactly the same. After trying on almost every work appropriate skirt and dress pant in her closet, she finally found one that zipped. Barely. And it was all thanks to her heavy duty, extra firm support high waisted Spanx. She'd been slightly offended when she received them as a baby shower gift from her mother with a note attached that simply read "you'll need this", but she was now thankful that she had them. Pre-baby tops were a whole different story, since she now looked like an adult star above the waist thanks to the combination of implants and baby with a very healthy appetite. So, she wore the loosest one she had, left the jacket unbuttoned, and the lacy camisole that had been elegant and just sexy enough pre-baby, was verging on inappropriate with the amount of cleavage she now had. She wasn't sure about going back to work, Christopher was still so young and she wanted to wait until he was in school, at least, but she figured she'd see what the offer was. She'd sent her audition tapes to all the stations in the area when Finn had first gotten traded, and she was still pregnant, but the first time she held her son, she knew wanted to stay home with him. Still, this was the first offer she'd gotten and her agent advised her to inquire about it.

"Impressive," Rod Remington, News Director for WOHN 8, said as he glanced over at her. He'd just viewed her audition tape, but the way he was looking at her, she wasn't sure if he was referring to that or her chest. Either way, he really needed to be more careful with his leering. He looked back down at her resume, and she took the opportunity to pull her camisole up again. He was fifty-ish, not bad looking, but something about him gave her the creeps. His hair was too coiffed, his skin too spray-tanned, and his veneers were too obvious. Plus, she was pretty sure that under the cologne and mints, she could smell scotch on him.

"So, UNC Charlotte, huh?"

"Yes, sir," she drawled.

"Impressive, but the accent's got to go. You're in Ohio now, not hick-town, North Carolina, and it's vital that our viewers actually understand you."

Was he kidding? Lima may have been farther north, but it was much more of a "Hick-Town" than Charlotte was, and her accent was not that bad. Her voice was pleasant and professional, only slightly "Southern", and no one had ever had trouble understanding her. It wasn't like North Carolina was a foreign country. She just smiled, it was fake, but she had perfected the fake smile, instead of saying something that would blow all chances of getting a job. If she even wanted one.

"Anyway, when I graduated, I was immediately hired by Charlotte's biggest station and given an on-air position."

"Impressive," he said again, that must have been his favorite word, Santana decided. "Most people have to start in smaller markets and work their way to the big ones. Of course, your look is also….impressive." That was definitely his favorite word, and Santana knew for sure he was looking at her chest. He was practically talking to it.

"I also graduated at the top of my class and interned all through college. And then I did the weather for the evening news, and the ratings improved by fifteen percent the first year I was there," she explained proudly. Many people assumed she got where she was because of her looks, and she was sick of it. Yes, she was attractive, but she was intelligent, and she'd worked very hard. If they didn't assume she got by on her looks, people often figured it was because of who her husband was. She hoped with everything she had that Mr. Remington didn't know who she was married to. It was a little tiring not getting the credit she deserved.

"Impressive," he said, to her chest again. "Look, Miss Hudson. I'm going to be honest with you. You're clearly good at what you do. Your tape is great, you've got the education, the experience, and you've certainly got the look. The problem is your husband."

There went any hope Santana had that he didn't know who she was and who she was married to. "Excuse me?" She asked, not really understanding why it was a problem. She figured, if anything, it would help her get a job, but she didn't want to get a job that way.

"I hate to say it, but I don't think anyone is going to take you seriously. They'll think we just hired you because of who your husband is, or they'll tune in to see what you look like, or what your ring looks like. Also, you might be a little too sexy for the weather. I don't think anyone is going to pay attention if you tell them it's going to rain or a tornado is headed their way." He added, taking his hand and waving it in front of her chest.

She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath, thinking before she said anything. "I'll get a new wardrobe. I just had a baby a few months ago, this was my first interview since then, and it was last minute. None of my old clothes fit right, and I didn't have time to get anything new."

"Miss Hudson, your wardrobe is the least of my concerns. Based on who you are, the fact that I can't have my main weather girl calling in sick because the babysitter flaked, and your unfortunate Miss USA incident, I just don't think it's going to work."

_Crap. The Miss USA incident_. She'd been ridiculed about that for years, but no one had said anything to her about it since she moved to Ohio. At least not to her face. It was the question and answer portion, and someone asked her why she thought so many Americans couldn't locate the United States on a world map. She had just started dating Finn, and minutes before she went on stage, the other contestants were gushing because they found out Finn was in the audience and she got nervous. So, she rambled about South Africa, 'the Iraq', and how some people don't have maps. There were also lots of 'uh's and um's' and it was a big mess that she thought she'd finally gotten past. She'd come in fourth, although she was pretty sure if she hadn't given that answer she would have won the whole thing. It was disastrous, and to still place so high was amazing. She was obviously smarter than that though, and her work showed that, but she was still paying for that one nervous moment.

"With all due respect, Mr. Remington, I think my work speaks for itself. You can ask any of my colleagues in Charlotte. I'm hard-working, intelligent, charismatic, and I'm damn good at my job. Marrying Finn didn't lower my I.Q, having a baby didn't turn me into a flake, and as for the pageant, that was an unfortunate incident, but I believe I have proven myself since then."

"That may all be true," he nodded, and then for the first time he gave her a look that was genuine and sympathetic. "But I'm afraid it's just not going to work out. Because of all of those factors, especially your celebrity, I just don't think I can offer you a job."

"I'm not a celebrity," she almost shrieked. She was normally very professional, but this was proving difficult. "My husband is the celebrity, not me."

"That's actually why I called you here, Miss Hudson, about your husband. I have an offer for him."

Twenty minutes later, she arrived back home and slammed the door so hard, that Christopher would have woken up screaming if their house wasn't so big.

"Bullshit!" She hissed, slamming her purse down on the coffee table. "God damn fucking bullshit!"

"How did it go?" Finn asked, with an obliviously proud grin on his face as he placed a kiss on her forehead. "Did you knock 'em dead?"

"Not exactly," she sighed. "I didn't get the job, but you did."

"What?" He asked, pulling out of their embrace and looking at her.

"That douchebag had no intention of offering me a job, he called me so he could get you as the first interview for a new morning show they're launching in the fall."

"Really? What did you tell him?"

"I told him to call your manager. I'm your wife," she grumbled bitterly.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out, babe. They don't know what they're missing out on," he said, giving her another kiss.

"It's okay," she mumbled, wiping the lone tear that had spilled from her eye.

"No it's not, you're an amazing Astrologist. Do you want me to talk them into reconsidering?"

"No, maybe it's for the best. Maybe this is just further proof that I need to be a stay-at-home mom now." Finn was being sweet, so this time, she wasn't going to correct him and say that she was a Meteorologist, not an Astrologist. Plus it was little things like that that just made him so charming, and she didn't think him telling Mr. Remington that she was an amazing Astrologist would help matters.

"Well, as good as you are at being a weather girl, you are an even better mom and wife. Christopher and I are so lucky."

"Yeah, yeah. How was our boy? I missed him." She said dreamily, she did love being a mom.

"He was perfect, slept the whole time."

"Great, well I'm going to wake him up, feed him ,and then we'll be off again," she said before heading upstairs to the nursery. She'd fed him just before she left for the interview, and she hadn't been gone much more than an hour, so he wasn't particularly hungry. He just wasn't a fan of being woken up, so Santana nursed him for a few minutes just to calm him down, and took the opportunity to roll her spanx down to her hips. She could finally breathe. There in the plush nursery, holding her greatest accomplishment to her chest, was right where she knew she was supposed to be.

"There's that sweet boy," Cece drawled as Santana arrived at the photo shoot an hour later. She'd been in Cleveland for two days, but had yet to see her daughter and grandson because she was busy shopping, sleeping, and getting spa treatments. She approached them and carefully gave Santana an air kiss. Mostly so they looked like a close, functional mother and daughter, Santana was sure, and patted the baby on the head as if he was a dog.

"This is my daughter Santana. Isn't she beautiful? She's a weather girl!" Cece said to the photographer. Santana just smiled and pulled Christopher closer to her body. She wasn't going to get into that right now.

Cece took a few steps back and looked Santana up and down. "I see you've got your figure back. Still a size four?"

"I hope so," Santana said under her breath while she nodded, slightly worried that nothing they had would fit.

Finn hadn't wanted Santana to do this photo shoot, but Cece begged so pitifully that he gave in. When she found out she was pregnant, they had decided that they wouldn't release photos of their child to the media. After all, their baby wasn't a celebrity, and they wanted his life to be as normal as possible. Cece hadn't gotten much work in the last twenty years or so, so when they asked her to do a shoot with her daughter and grandson, she wasn't giving up without a fight. Finn and Santana agreed that it would be okay, on the conditions that Christopher's face not be photographed, and they give the money to The March of Dimes. And, after all these years, Santana still cared too much about trying to please her mom, so she hoped this might bring them closer together.

"Where's the nanny? Is she coming? Or do you have one of those gay mannies that are so chic right now?" Cece asked as both women were getting their make-up done. Christopher was in Santana's lap, looking at his grandmother and sweetly cooing while she practically looked at him with disgust. Not him per-se, but the fact that her daughter had actually brought her baby to a photo-shoot.

"I don't have a nanny or a gay manny, it's just me," she replied calmly.

"Still?" Cece asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Still," she replied smugly, much to her mother's horror.

When they were done in hair and make-up, Cece was put into an extravagant pink dress, while they struggled to find one for Santana that would zip. Couture gowns were not made for double-d breasts apparently, and Cece pinched the bridge of her nose, trying not to let her frustration show. That was a trait Santana got from her mother.

"Breastfeeding," Santana mentioned apologetically to the stylist as he slipped a seventh dress over her head. She didn't know why she was apologizing. She was doing what was best for her baby, and herself. The only one who seemed to not get that was her mother.

"I understand, my sister recently had a baby," he assured her kindly. "I have one more dress that I know will work."He left the room, and returned a few minutes later with a flowy black chiffon dress. It was a size six and didn't zip at the top either, but it came closer than the others did. "We'll pin it, and no one will know the difference," he smiled.

He reached for Christopher, as Santana stood up, and then handed him back to her completely naked.

"I don't think this is a good idea," she said as she warily held him against her chest.

"Darling, you worry too much. You never had any accidents when you were a baby," Cece said, joining them.

Santana took a deep breath and prayed this would all be over soon. Just like with her mother saying she hardly ever cried, she wondered how her mother knew she never had accidents, since the nanny raised her. But, she smiled and tried to relax.

"You look fabulous. You can't even tell that dress doesn't fit. Isn't Jeff a miracle worker? And my grandson is so handsome!"

Santana didn't know how long the photographer shot for. Too long, in her opinion. She was sore from sitting up so straight, the lights were hot, and Christopher was starting to fuss as she tried various tummy to tummy positions. There were only so many they could try with the baby facing away from the camera.

"Are we almost done?" She asked. "I need to feed him."

"Can't one of the girls feed him?" Cece asked. "I'm sure they'd love to."

"No, they can't. I'm breastfeeding exclusively." Santana said, smugly again. "Still," she added before her mother could even ask.

"Just a few more," the photographer said, but Christopher had other ideas. Just then, he let out a high-pitched squeal as he grabbed a piece of the delicate fabric covering Santana's chest and ripped it.

"Okay then. I guess we're done. I think we've got some good ones to work with," He sighed.

Santana apologized profusely about the dress, even though she warned the photographer that Christopher had had enough and was ready to eat, the assistants and make-up artist giggled, and Cece looked absolutely horrified.

"You're doing that, here?" Cece asked, as she sat across from Santana who was nursing Topher. They were in the corner booth of a quiet café, and Santana didn't see what the big deal was. There was no one around them, her son was hungry, and she was being discreet.

"Yes mother, he's hungry. You can't see anything, and the only person who is watching me is you," she said through slightly gritted teeth.

"I suppose," Cece admitted. "But I can still tell what you're doing."

Santana just looked down at the baby and rolled her eyes. She was feeding her child, it's not like she was doing anything shameful.

"I don't understand why you don't have a nanny. Or why you don't give him bottles, especially when you're in public. Don't you have one of those pump things?"

"I want to raise him myself, and Topher prefers nursing to bottles, and I prefer nursing to pumping," Santana said. If her mother had ever nursed her, she might have understood, but she'd spent the months after Santana's birth smoking and snorting her way back to her pre-pregnancy weight. So it was probably best that she hadn't.

"That's sweet, but don't you want a life? Doesn't it get boring or tiring?"

"This is my life now," she said, smoothing Topher's hair."It's my job, and it's important. More important than telling a bunch of strangers whether or not to bring an umbrella when they could just look out the window, which is why I'm staying home and raising him myself." She explained as if it was all completely her choice. She still didn't feel like telling her mother what had happened earlier that morning.

"All that money I spent on your college education, pageant training, and your boob job and you stay home with a baby," she muttered.

"What is your problem?" Santana snapped, causing Christopher to stop nursing and look up at her. She fixed her shirt and bra, patted him on the back, and then discreetly switched him to the other side.

"What do you mean, dear? I just want you to be happy. I thought your career was important to you."

"I don't get you. You send me this book that says that I need to stay home with my child, breastfeed until he's old enough to tell me he's done, and let him sleep in my bed. Except when I do those things, you criticize me for them!"

"The book says that?"Cece blinked.

Santana nodded, and had to keep from visibly rolling her eyes. She had a feeling her mother had no idea what the book was about.

"Well, I didn't read it. I went to Barnes and Noble one day and the woman that worked there swore by it. I should have known though, she looked like one of those crunchy granola-types. Anyway, you don't need to do things exactly by the book, you just need to do your best. You should still have time for yourself."

"Like when you want to do a photo-shoot and need me to get hired?" Santana asked, annoyance evident in her voice.

"Darling, there's no need to use that tone with me. Let's not fight. You haven't touched your salad. Here, open up." She said, stabbing some arugula and goat cheese with her fork and holding it up to her daughter's mouth.

"Mother, it's fine. I can wait," she insisted.

"No you need to eat. You're feeding your baby, let me feed mine. Now be a good girl and open up."

Santana reluctantly did as she was told, and her mother carefully forked the salad into her mouth and gave a satisfied smile.

"There," she said. "Isn't that good? Honey, I think you're doing a wonderful job, but there's nothing wrong with having a little help, or taking a break once in a while. You need to relax a little bit, not take it all so seriously. You're taking care of a baby, not performing brain surgery."

"I just want to do it right," Santana sighed. She looked down at her beautiful son while he nursed, and couldn't imagine not trying her hardest to do everything perfectly. He was so sweet, so innocent, and he deserved the very best of everything, including the very best mom. It may not have been brain surgery, but to Santana it was every bit as important.

"You just do the best you can," Cece said, picking up the fork again "No one is perfect, and I don't want you to wear yourself thin. Open up."

That night, Santana reluctantly dragged out the breast pump, then poured herself a big glass of wine, and held her breath as Finn give Christopher a bottle and put him to bed. Topher gave Santana a betrayed look before reluctantly accepting it. It was a little thing, but her heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces as she resisted the urge to swoop in and take over. She reassured herself that it was okay, that Finn appreciated it, and that Topher would be just fine. It was one bottle, and it was still her milk, and father and son deserved the chance to bond. After he was in his crib asleep, where he would only stay for the next three hours, Finn and Santana made love. When Christopher woke up around eleven o'clock, Santana brought him into their bed where she nursed him and let him stay for the rest of the night. It was what she felt was right, she was doing the best she could.


	25. September: Rachel

Rachel had been diagnosed with post-partum depression at her six week appointment. She didn't want to admit it, because it made her feel like a bad mom. It wasn't like she didn't love her baby or want her baby, and she felt like admitting that she was depressed would make it seem that way. Evita was a very planned and hoped for baby, she and Noah were blissfully married and they'd tried to conceive for six months, so Rachel didn't see how she could be depressed. But when she started sobbing as soon as Dr. Wu asked how she was doing, and how she was healing, it was pretty obvious to him that something was off. So, after asking a few more questions about symptoms, behavior, and risk factors, it was confirmed. He offered to write her a prescription for some antidepressants, but she refused, even though he assured her that it was considered safe while breastfeeding. Instead, he referred her to a therapist, suggested some herbs and supplements, many of them traditional Chinese ones that he used in combination with western medicine for the few patients that were open to it, and prescribed exercise and a good support system.

The therapist was helpful. She helped Rachel work through the guilt and anger she still carried about delivering her daughter via c-section. Noah and Dr. Wu had tried to assured her that it was nothing she did wrong, that that's what needed to happen, and that she was in no way a failure, but the therapist was the first person who really made her feel better about it. The supplements must have been helping too, and the walks with her friends that took place at least twice a week all seemed to make a difference. She'd been spending a lot of time with Quinn too. It had been a few weeks since they had met, and they'd hung out a few times too. It always helped Rachel to put things into perspective. Considering what Quinn had gone through with her baby, having a c-section was nothing. She always had a nice time with the blonde. Quinn would fill Rachel in on all the juicy Hollywood gossip, like who was secretly gay (the names shocked Rachel), who was a real douche-bag, and who had had subtle cosmetic surgery. Rachel suspected Quinn had had some procedures herself, just like she suspected Santana had had more done than just a boob job; they were too pretty not to, but she never asked. In exchange, Quinn wanted to hear all about Rachel's friends and their babies, so she happily filled her in. They mostly talked about how lucky Brittany was to have a husband that was home all the time, and how lucky Santana was that her husband made several million dollars a year. They had no idea.

So, things were improving for Rachel. She was becoming more patient with Evita, they were bonding more, and Rachel was starting to realize how cute Evita actually was, even though she was still completely bald. And then they got the call. It was seven a.m., Evita was finally asleep after several hours of fussing, and apparently, her mother-in-law thought it was the perfect time to call them.

"Hi Nancy," Rachel said, trying to sound as groggy as possible.

"Hello, Rachel. Did I wake you? I forget that not everyone is a morning person."

"Kind of," Rachel said, becoming slightly hostile, hoping her mother-in-law would take the hint.

"Oh, well, it takes all kinds! Anyways, let me speak to my son."

Rachel handed the phone to Noah and settled back under the covers, hoping that this would be over quickly and she could go back to sleep.

"Hi Mom," Noah said, and then Rachel heard silence. So much silence that it was making her uncomfortable. This was not going to be good.

"Okay," he finally said with a sigh. "For how long?"

"No, it's fine. I didn't mean to sigh, I'm just tired. No, she's not. Mom, she's two months old, that's perfectly normal. It's fine, I promise. Okay, I'll see you soon. Love you too." Noah hung up the phone, handed it back to Rachel and then put his hands over his eyes and sighed again.

"What?" asked Rachel.

Noah didn't say anything at first, and it was really worrying her. "You're not going to like this," he finally said.

"She got another stupid little dog and she wants us to come over for a fashion show?" Rachel asked.

"Her house has termites and it's being tented, so she's staying with us for a few days," he mumbled quietly, but Rachel still caught every word.

"And her only option is with us? She's seen how small our house is. Wouldn't she be more comfortable in a hotel?"

"She doesn't want to spend the money," he muttered.

"Oh please! Her entire wardrobe is designer, she has Coach luggage, she spends god knows how much on her cosmetic procedures, but would rather stay in our cramped house than spend money on a couple of nights in a hotel? This is Lima, we don't even have anything fancier than a Holiday Inn! Where is she going to sleep anyway?" She asked, grabbing her robe and tying it around her waist.

"Well," Noah muttered, looking down.

"You have got to be shitting me," Rachel hissed, walking over to the other side of their bedroom to make sure Evita was still sleeping. "Noah, we can't give up our bedroom. Evita sleeps here, and she needs me at night. Your mother can't exactly breastfeed her!"

"Honey, you know her back bothers her too much to sleep on the pull-out," he explained.

Rachel knew alright. Nancy Puckerman was always bitching. She was one of those people who, if she was miserable, or had any type of ache or pain, she made sure everyone knew about it. Rachel was sure she got some kind of sick pleasure out of making people pity her. She'd spent one night on their pull-out before and complained about all the money she'd had to spend on Chiropractic visits for an entire year after that. The pull-out wasn't bad at all, but it was their house, they should have gotten the master bedroom.

"It'll be fine babe, we'll set up the pack-and-play you got for your baby-shower and Eva can sleep right next to us. Or she can just sleep in bed with us, lots of parents co-sleep," he suggested.

"Oh, no." Rachel said defiantly. "Santana co-sleeps, and she's a great mom, but that kid freaks if he's out of her arms for a second. I'd go nuts if Evita was that clingy."

"Santana Hudson co-sleeps?" He asked, scratching his head. "I know she's your friend and everything and I only met her a few times, but she struck me more as the full-time nanny type."

"Oh yeah, she surprised me too. She co-sleeps, is fully committed to attachment parenting, has only left her baby once, and that was with her mother-in-law, and she's even more anti-formula than I am. Just goes to show that you can't judge a book by it's cover. Still, I don't want to do that, and if we give your mother our room, it'll mess up everything." Rachel explained.

"Please?" Noah asked, wrapping his arms around her waist and nuzzling her neck. "It'll just be for a few days, and it means a lot to me, she's.."

"I know, she's your mother! Fine," she sighed. "Help me set up the pack-and-play."

Noah was a total mama's boy. Rachel thought it was sweet at first, but now it's kind of ridiculous. He was a great husband, but after all these years, his mom seemed to always come first, and Rachel was pretty sure that he'd never said no to her. He didn't have a whole lot of trouble saying no to his wife at times though, and Rachel kind of resented it. What she didn't know though, was that Noah was a little scared of his mother, where he completely respected his wife.

An hour later, after they had set up the pack-and-play and Noah had showered and left for the hospital, Nancy arrived in a miniskirt, what Rachel always referred to as "hooker shoes", a v-neck that showed way too much grandma cleavage, and five pieces of Coach luggage, not including the dog carrier.

"Hi Elizabeth," she screeched, and plucked the baby out of her mother's arms. "Hello Nancy," Rachel said, even though the woman hadn't greeted her. "And her name is Evita."

"Oh, I know that dear. She just looks so much more like an Elizabeth, don't you think?"

"Maybe so, but still, her name is Evita."

"Technicalities, dear. Would you mind getting my luggage? My hands are full with the most beautiful, but bald baby in the world!"

Rachel headed to the porch and took some deep breaths. This was going to be a very long few days. After several trips back and forth to bring all her luggage in, and getting growled at by her mother-in-law's toy poodle "Princess", Nancy promptly asked what was for breakfast.

"Noah and I had bagels," she said.

"I don't eat gluten anymore," Nancy explained.

"Were you diagnosed with Celiac Disease?" Rachel asked.

"No, I just read that gluten makes you fat. Dr. Oz, or someone, said so," she said, looking her daughter-in-law up and down."

"Well, I have bacon and eggs," she offered.

"Is it organic? Because Dr. Oz said you should only eat organic. Pesticides make you fat."

Rachel sighed, and suddenly realized she hated Dr. Oz.

"We have grapefruit," she offered.

"Too sour," Nancy explained, and then proceeded to make awful puckering faces at Evita. "Could you be a dear and run to the store? I'll keep an eye on the baby."

"Fine," Rachel sighed, deciding that she would have to be as agreeable as possible to hopefully make these next few days work, even if her mother-in-law was completely ridiculous. "Let me just take a quick shower first."

"Just leave me with a bottle and we'll be fine!"

"I'm breastfeeding, remember?"

"Still?" Nancy asked incredulously. "And the doctors think that's okay, even with your processed, non-organic diet?"

Rachel closed her eyes briefly and recited the serenity prayer in her mind. "Yup. It's been proven to be the best thing for babies. It strengthens their immune system, reduces allergies, improves their I.Q., prevents certain types of cancer and diabetes..."

"Oh, that's what they say. They also say it helps the mother lose weight. I don't know if I agree with that though," She said, glaring at Rachel. "I never breastfed my Noah, and I left the hospital in my pre-pregnancy clothes!"

Rachel headed upstairs before she exploded, took a quick shower, and returned to the kitchen ten minutes later.

"She ate half a Fig Newton!" Nancy said proudly.

"What?" Rachel shrieked, almost startling Evita.

"Is that a problem, dear? You and Noah eat processed food, so I figured you'd be okay with your child eating it too."

"She can't eat solid food yet! We're waiting until she's six months old, and then it'll just be pureed fruits and veggies. I'm going to the store now, I won't be gone long, so please don't feed her anything while I'm gone."

Rachel got to her car and promptly called Dr. Anderson's office, where the receptionist told her that while eating a cookie at her age wasn't the best idea, it wasn't going to kill her. She hung up and screamed the entire way to the grocery store. Anyone that saw her in her car probably thought she was insane, but it did help her feel better. When she returned with sixty dollars worth of Nancy approved groceries, Nancy and Evita were sitting on the couch watching "Days of Our Lives" or some other awful soap opera and Nancy was explaining the importance of marrying for money to the two month old.

"True love doesn't exist, which is why you just need to find someone rich, even if he's old. And whatever you do, don't sign a pre-nup, so when it doesn't work out, you can take everything he's got."

"Excuse me?" Rachel called from the kitchen as she was putting the groceries away.

"I was just explaining how the world works, that's all. Isn't that right, baby?"

"Look, I'm sure you don't mean any harm, but she's a baby, she doesn't need to be hearing about that stuff. Besides, true love does exist, she just has to look at her father and me to see that."

When Rachel heard Nancy tell her daughter how chunky she was and that she hoped she grew out of it soon so she would attract the boys, that was the last straw. She swooped in and snatched her out of the older woman's arms, and made a point to ask Dr. Wu if she could double up on her supplements and try to fit in another appointment with her counselor.

"I'm just gonna go change her," she explained over her shoulder. Evita's diaper was clean and dry, she just needed an excuse to get her away. When she was done changing her, she sat down on the glider, lifted up her shirt, and allowed her daughter to latch onto her breast. Evita would have been hungry soon anyway, and she certainly wasn't going to refuse the offer. The act of nursing soothed both of them. With Rachel starting to feel better over the last couple of weeks, she was really starting to enjoy these moments of bonding with her daughter, and was finally understanding the overwhelming love and bliss that her friends talked about. Unfortunately, the moment didn't last long.

"Oh, excuse you!" Nancy said, peeking into the master bedroom and spotting Rachel's partially exposed breast. They were in their own house, the baby's head covered most of it, and Nancy's shirt showed way more boob than Rachel was showing at the moment. Evita removed herself at the interruption and Rachel fixed her shirt and reminded herself to breathe deeply. Had the woman ever heard of knocking?

"She's so beautiful," Nancy said, coming over to them and gently stroking the baby's soft head. Maybe this woman wasn't all bad. Rachel began to feel a slight hint of tenderness for her mother-in-law.

"She really is, isn't she?" Rachel gushed, kissing the baby on the temple. Evita's baby acne had finally cleared up, revealing a beautiful olive complexion, she had her daddy's beautiful hazel eyes and full lips, and the smoothest, softest bald head around.

"Of course she'll be cuter and much more feminine looking when she gets some hair," Nancy added. "My Noah always had great hair, she must get the female pattern baldness gene from your side."

Well, that moment was ruined, and Rachel was back to being severely pissed off. And "her" Noah had awful hair. He'd been shaving his head since before Rachel knew him, and after seeing old pictures she knew why. He had sported a mohawk in high school and college, which wasn't bad either, but started shaving it in medical school because he figured most people wouldn't take a doctor with a mohawk very seriously.

The bedroom quickly became very cramped, so they returned downstairs where Nancy announced that Princess needed to eat. They stared at her for a few moments, and Rachel realized that that was her mother-in-law's subtle way of asking her to feed the damn dog.

"Would you like me to get her food?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, would you dear? That would be wonderful. She eats it warm."

Rachel turned around, rolled her eyes, and poured the disgusting contents of the can into a bowl. Just when she was about to stick it in the microwave, she heard a very loud gasp.

"We don't use microwaves!" Nancy shrieked. "Dr. Oz said the radiation in them is bad!"

Rachel took a deep breath and pulled out a pot and a big spoon, and tried not to gag at the fact that her cooking untensils were touching dog food. A few minutes later, Princess had her food, Rachel hadn't received a "thank you" from the older woman, but she hadn't really expected it. They sat there quietly for a few minutes when Nancy got up and started running her finger along picture frames, clearly inspecting for dust.

"Would you like some wine?" She said to the older woman, hoping it would relax her or give her some kind of break. She did want some, and after pouring her her second glass and handing her the remote, Rachel grabbed the stroller and Evita and was off. She asked Nancy if she wanted to join them on their walk, only because she knew she would refuse.

"Bad back," the woman had explained. She was always telling anyone that would listen how bad her back hurt.

As soon as she got to the end of the driveway, Rachel called Noah to rant.

"I know you love her, but I am about to kill your mother," Rachel fumed.

"She can't be that bad," Noah said patronizingly.

"Well, she still refuses to call our daughter by her actual name. I have not once heard her say "Evita" or even "Eva," and and to remind her yet again that her name is not Elizabeth. She refused everything in the kitchen, and I had to go get her some special gluten free, organic crap. She fed our newborn a Fig Newton, taught her the importance of marrying rich, acted truly offended when she interrupted me nursing, said how much cuter the baby would be with hair, and made me cook dog food on the stove because microwaves are bad!"

"What?" Noah asked in shock. "Would you like me to come home?"

"No, I know you're busy, we'll be fine," she assured him.

"I'm so sorry Rachel. Hang in there, and I'll talk to her when I get home. I love you."

"I love you too," she said before hanging up the phone.

"I think we need some Quinn time, what do you think baby girl?" she said to her beautiful bald baby, and earned a coo in return. "I'll take that as a yes." She called Quinn and twenty minutes later, the met in front of the blonde's apartment.

"Do you want to see what the other girls are doing?" Rachel asked and then immediately felt guilty. Quinn was sweet and they always had a nice time, but Rachel could tell that she was still slightly uneasy around Evita. "I'm sorry, I'm sure you'd rather not be around other babies, I wasn't thinking."

"No, it's okay," Quinn assured her. "Sometimes it's hard, but the world is full of babies. I can't hide forever, and I do want to meet your friends."

Thirty minutes later they were sitting on plastic folding chairs in Brittany's living room, as that room was still unfurnished. Santana and Mercedes and their babies had joined them too. Tina had recently returned to work, but appreciated the invitation. Evita was sleeping in her stroller, Christopher was, of course, nursing, and Nathan and Whitney were laying on a blanket on the floor trying to grab each-other's noses. Rachel quietly introduced Quinn to everyone while Brittany was jogging on the treadmill and apparently conduction some type of business.

"Was there no one else you could call?" Brittany asked whoever she was talking to. "I'm still on maternity leave. Yes, okay, I understand. I'll get some quotes this afternoon and call you back." She said, and then hung up the phone. "Sorry," she muttered to her friends.

"Are you back at work?" Rachel asked.

"Not exactly. Someone's wedding singer fell through three weeks before their wedding, and according to my boss, I have the most contacts, so she called me."

"You can give them my name," Mercedes offered. "I'm returning to work in a few weeks anyways. I mean, I don't know if they'd even like me, but it's worth a shot."

"Oh please, you're amazing," Brittany assured her. "Oh my God, you're famous," she exclaimed, finally noticing Quinn.

"Not exactly," Quinn laughed, "but thank you."

Brittany increased the speed on her treadmill to a fast-paced sprint.

"Are you exercising?" Rachel asked. "You've got some amazing will-power, why don't you sit down and join us?"

"Well, I kind of have to. I can't fit into any of my old clothes yet, and can't afford a new wardrobe," she explained. Brittany sprinted for a few more minutes while everyone chatted before they were interrupted by an alarm on Brittany's cell phone. "I'm just gonna go put him down for a nap," she explained, grabbing a perfectly content Nathan and heading off to the nursery.

"He doesn't even look tired," Quinn said to the other women when Brittany left the room.

"She has him on a very tight schedule," Rachel explained.

"Hello ladies," Artie said as he wheeled from the office into the living room. "Can I get you something to drink?"

_Brittany is so lucky_, Rachel thought as Artie took their drink orders. She would love to have Noah home more often during the day to bring her something to drink, vacuum, or fold some laundry. Brittany returned to the living room shortly after Artie did with a tray full of iced tea, water, and diet Coke on his lap.

"Brittany, you have no idea how lucky you are to have Artie home to help out," she told her friend. Brittany made a face that Rachel couldn't quite decipher and just muttered a "yeah" while looking at her lap.

"I wish I could just stay here forever" Rachel said when Artie returned to his office. "Just remember, if my mother-in-law turns up missing, I was here all night," she joked.

"Is she really that bad?" Santana asked.

As she explained to her friends how her day had gone, they all just sat there in disbelief.

"Wow, I guess I'm lucky I don't have a mother-in-law," Mercedes said.

"My mother-in-law is wonderful," Santana said, "It's my mom I can't stand, although things are getting a little better I guess. She actually told me I was a good mom last time I saw her, even though she disagrees with everything I do."

"My mother-in-law is nice, as far as I know," Quinn added. "I only met her three times. Once at my baby-shower, and then she came to visit shortly after Beth was born, and then of course she came to the funeral. My mom is a real b-i-t-c-h too, though," she said to Santana, spelling the word "bitch" out because there were babies in the room.

Rachel suddenly felt guilty about bringing her around all the other babies, two of them being baby girls, even though Quinn had insisted that she wanted to come. She couldn't dwell on it long though, because just a few seconds later her cell phone rang.

"Where are you?" Noah asked worriedly when Rachel answered.

"We went for a walk," she explained casually.

"You left my mother by herself," he practically whined.

"Well, I asked if she wanted to join us, and she said no. And she is an adult."

"But you've been gone for two hours!"

_Shit, had it really been that long?_ "Sorry honey, Evita needed some fresh air, we're on our way home now," she said apologetically.

"Well ladies, it's been fun. Back to the loony bin," she sighed.

**A/n: Thanks for reading! Please review :). And bring your tissues for the next chapter... I should say that the next chapter won't be up right away. It'll be a couple of days at least. I am going to work on my next chapter of MLWSWY first, and then get to work on the next chapter with this one. But I am trying to be better about updating than I have been lately!**


	26. September: Quinn

**Here's the next chapter. Big thanks to StarsAreAMetaphor for beta-ing!**

Rachel smiled as Quinn helped her carry the heavily loaded stroller down the sloping steps in front of Brittany's apartment. As they set all four wheels down, Quinn looked up to see a look on her friend's face that piqued her interest.

She crossed her arms and gestured that Rachel needed to start talking, not that she usually needed any help.

"So I was thinking," Rachel began with a chuckle. "I could use some help around the restaurant, how would you like a job?"

"I don't know," Quinn murmured. "I don't even know how to cook. I've lived off Lean Cuisines since I was a teenager and my mom went back to work. Are you sure you want that kind of person employed in your kitchen?"

"Well I mostly need someone to do prep work." Rachel replied. "You know, basic things like chopping onions, peeling carrots, pounding chicken breasts. Stuff like that. I know you haven't worked since you came back here, so I just thought maybe you'd be interested. I can put up a 'Help Wanted' sign though." she said casually. Savory wasn't exactly desperate for help, but she figured having a job and a purpose to get her friend out of her apartment might be good for Quinn.

"It's not as fancy as what you were doing before," Rachel conceded. "And it doesn't pay a whole lot, but I could really use the help. What do you think?"

"That's fine, I'd be happy to." Quinn quickly replied. "I'll take it, anything to help out a friend. You've been so good to me," The blonde woman grinned, she was secretly thrilled. Although she brought a fairly large amount of money with her, and then got even more from selling her wedding band as well as her engagement ring, it was running out quickly, and wouldn't last too much longer if she didn't find something. She was slowly working through her to-do list, she'd gotten money, gotten an apartment, and now a job. The only thing left for her to do was get help.

"Great, can you start tomorrow?" Rachel enthused. At their quick pace they soon neared Quinn's apartment but the young mother veered before they reached it and began to walk into the park.

"Weren't you supposed to go home?" Quinn inquired. She watched as Rachel began to push the stroller and make her way toward a secluded bench under a shady tree.

"I am, after we have a little rest and this sweet little girl has a snack," Rachel said cheerfully.

Quinn just giggled and rolled her eyes. Evita was perfectly content at the moment, and it only took a few minutes to walk from the park to their house. She was clearly stalling, her mother-in-law must have been a real piece of work.

They sat down at their destination and began to settle in. Quinn grabbed the water bottle she had tucked beneath the diaper bag and got her first good look at the babbling, happy baby for the day.

"Hi Evita, you're looking very pink today!" Quinn remarked. They had been so busy at Brittany's house she hadn't noticed the pink overalls, pink onesie, pink socks, and pink shoes, topped off with a pink hat.

"Ugh, someone told me she was a very cute little boy the other day! Ever since then I've been dressing her in her pinkest, girliest clothes so that doesn't happen again," Rachel explained.

"People told me that Beth was a cute boy all the time," Quinn sighed. "The last time it happened, I came home and cried until I couldn't anymore. The next day, Sam offered to take her off my hands for a little while to run a few errands. A few hours later they came back for dinner and her ears were pierced!"

"Oh, God," Rachel muttered, covering herself up with a light blanket and situating Evita at her breast. "If Noah put holes in my baby's head, he'd be sleeping on the couch permanently. Can you see anything?"

Quinn quickly glanced to see if her friend had complete privacy. "You're good. Beth hated being covered up while nursing, I couldn't take her anywhere around feeding time," Quinn said with a hint of sadness in her voice, making Rachel feel guilty. Quinn sensed it, and it wasn't her intention, so she continued, trying to lighten the mood. "Anyways, I was definitely not happy when Sam got her ears pierced, but she did look cute. I just wish he would have discussed it with me first. I would have never gotten a three month old's ears pierced. I just think it's tacky."

Eventually, Evita had had her fill, the women parted ways, and Rachel made her way back home, ever so slowly, Quinn noticed.

Quinn's first day on the job was fine. She had been eating better and walking with Rachel almost every day, so she was getting some of her strength back. When she finally got home she realized that she was on her feet more than she had been in a year and a half so most of her muscles ached, and her wrists were a little sore from the repetitive chopping. But it was fine, everyone was nice, and all the bus boys had hit on her even though she still didn't bother with makeup and her dark roots were incredibly obvious. Rachel's partner Lisa had even shown her how to dice, saute, as well as make some basic sauces and they actually turned out good. So far Rachel was a very nice boss too, always asking how she was doing and if she needed anything.

The rest of the week had been okay. Rachel only worked three days a week, but when she wasn't there, Lisa and the other employees were equally kind and patient with her. Rachel had opened up to Quinn about her postpartum depression, although she felt slightly guilty for admitting she had trouble dealing with a c-section when the woman beside her had lost her baby, but she had her reasons for telling her. Her therapist, Emma Schuester was gentle, and sweet, and was a great listener who had helped her a great deal in only a few weeks and she thought that Quinn might benefit from talking to her too. Quinn had some free time a few days later, so she figured it wouldn't hurt to call the therapist. She couldn't put it off forever, she knew she needed help.

It turned out that Emma didn't have any openings for one-on-one therapy for almost two weeks, but she did refer Quinn to one of her partner's grief support groups for people who had lost children. That couldn't hurt either, Quinn decided, so she put on her comfortable, familiar jeans, t-shirt, and the faded coat that she practically lived in her senior year of high school . It was September so it was still fairly warm, but hospitals always felt cold to her. Getting new clothes would have to be next on her to-do list, after she got her first paycheck. While she was glad that she could still fit into her high school clothes, even though she had recently turned thirty, she would have much rather been fat and still have her baby instead of this painful sadness.

The support group wasn't anything she was expecting, or most of all, what she felt she needed. She wanted to know when her heart, actually when her entire body, would stop hurting from the grief. When would her daughter and the pain not be the only thing she could think of? When would the nightmares about her baby turning into a cat that hissed at her end? Perhaps the worst of all was the fact that it had been six months since Beth died, and her breasts still leaked whenever she heard a baby cry. It was just another reminder of what she didn't have, what was taken from her. When would that stop?

The parents sharing their stories didn't help, most of it made her angry and jealous which just made her feel even worse. They were just talking about their children, and they all seemed to be in a great deal of pain, even though most of them had lost their children years before. What was the most difficult is that they had lost children, not babies, which meant they had years with them. Years of soccer games, and ballet recitals, family vacations, first steps, first words, first days of school, birthdays, and hearing "I love you". Quinn had stretch marks, leaking breasts, hemorrhoids, and the memory of a baby that cried all the time, barely slept, rarely smiled, and spit up like the girl from The Exorcist. It wasn't fair she only had months while they had years, they weren't even grateful for what they had and it was really starting to piss her off!

Finally, an older woman who introduced herself as Linda spoke. Her son died in the late eighties after contracting AIDS from a blood transfusion. He was twelve when he died, and it was incredibly tragic, but what child's death wasn't? It had been over twenty years since then, and Linda and her husband both seemed to still be completely emotionally raw over it, as if it had just happened. When Linda was done talking, Quinn decided she had had enough. She was sitting in the back of the room and hoped to escape unnoticed, but she bumped the metal chair she had been sitting and made a horrendously loud noise, of course everyone turned around.

"Oh, looks like we have a newbie," the leader said. "Would you like to go next?"

"Oh, no," Quinn mumbled. "I was just..."

"What is your name, dear?"

"Lucy." Quinn said without thinking. She'd gone by "Quinn" for almost twelve years now, so she didn't know why her real name slipped out, but it did. Suddenly, she was Lucy again.

"But I don't think I'm ready to talk. I was actually just leaving, I don't think this group is for me," she continued as she walked toward the door.

The leader called after her but Quinn could only focus on getting to the door to escape. She headed out of the conference room, down the hall, into the elevator, and by the time she got to the sidewalk, she was running, barely avoiding running into people. She didn't seem to notice though, but other people did, and they immediately got out of the way. She wasn't even aware of her surrounding but before she knew it, she was standing in front of Savory.

"Hi!" Rachel said cheerfully when Quinn walked through the door. "What are you doing here?"

Quinn looked around, noticing that the only people there were Rachel, Mercedes, Brittany, Santana with Christopher, and friend of Rachel's that she hadn't met yet, who she assumed must have been Tina. Suddenly she remembered that it was Monday, and the restaurant wasn't open.

"I'm so sorry," she mumbled as she turned to leave. "I wasn't thinking, I guess,"

"We're having mo-, um, girl's night out!" Rachel stuttered slightly. She pulled out a chair then gestured for her friend to sit next to her, "Why don't you stay?"

"No, I should go. I don't want to intrude." Quinn replied.

Rachel wouldn't hear of it. She grabbed another wine glass and started fixing her a plate. There were several open bottles of wine on the table, as well as fried calamari, nachos, bread sticks, lettuce wraps, and an assortment of things wrapped or topped with bacon. It was then that she realized she hadn't eaten all day and decided to stay; plus, she never could turn down bacon.

"So, where are the other babies?" Quinn asked.

"They're with their dads. Finn has a game in New Orleans tonight, that's the only reason I brought Topher," Santana explained, although they all knew she would have brought him anyway. Her maid had offered to watch him, Rachel and Tina volunteered their husbands, while Mercedes volunteered Kurt. It was fine though, he was a very laid-back baby who was happy as long as he was in his mother's arms. It was easier to focus when she was holding him, if she was truly honest with herself.

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!" Brittany said as she felt her phone vibrate again.

"What does he want this time?" Mercedes asked.

Artie had been texting Brittany all evening with the simplest questions about baby care that the average teenaged babysitter knew.

"He asked if he's supposed to wipe back to front or front to back." Brittany groaned.

Tina giggled, "Has he never changed a diaper before?"

"Not really. He's started to a few times but then he gagged and complained about the smell, so I always take over," Brittany sighed. "I hope Nathan took a big shit for him tonight," she added, causing the other women and Christopher to giggle.

"Is that funny?" Quinn asked sweetly, tickling the baby's feet. He clearly didn't understand what Brittany said but had seen the adults around him break into laughter and followed suit. "He's so cute, Santana. Does Finn change diapers?"

"He tries," Santana sneered. "Although he usually puts them on backwards, or rips the tape off, or puts them on too loose, but he tries."

"Noah is great at diapers, but the first time he gave Evita a bath he called and asked me how he should wash her 'flower'," Rachel laughed. "Yes, my doctor husband actually called it her 'flower'."

"Kurt did that too! He was totally freaked out," Mercedes laughed.

"Mike is an expert at everything," Tina said proudly. "She goes to the daycare at the studio when I'm at work, and he's always in there with her between classes."

"I love Artie, but I would never trust him to give Nate a bath," Brittany admitted. "How does Finn do with baths?"

"He doesn't do baths, I actually take Topher in the bath with me, it's wonderful," Santana beamed, planting a kiss on the baby's head.

"I used to do that," Quinn said quietly. Santana was right, it was wonderful. The bathtub was the only place where Beth was ever really happy, or calm, for that matter. She tried to discreetly dab the tears that were forming in her eyes, but there was an audible sniff.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked, handing her a napkin.

Quinn accepted the napkin, nodded, and tried to compose herself, determined not to cry and ruin everyone's night. "Are you sure there aren't any dishes I can wash or something?" she whispered.

"No, we're good," Rachel said squeezing her hand. "What's going on?"

Quinn downed her entire glass of wine in one giant gulp before answering. "I went to this grief support group for people who had lost children." she stammered. "I didn't stay very long."

"Why not?" Tina asked.

Rachel had told them about Quinn had lost a baby before they met her, but none of them knew exactly what had happened, not even Rachel.

"It was just a bunch of sad people talking about their sad stories. I couldn't stand it, and I wasn't ready, so I left." Quinn explained.

"Don't you think it might help to talk about it?" Rachel said cautiously. "I can't imagine what it must be like, but I would think that talking might help. I don't know," she shrugged. "I'm so sorry. But maybe they could help or at least relate since they've been through the same thing?"

"But they hadn't been through the same _thing_," Quinn emphasized. "They all had years with their children and got to enjoy them, and the thing is," she paused and polished off the wine that Rachel had refilled. "I didn't even want a baby in the first place. The pregnancy wasn't planned, Sam and I had only been together six months. We were happy with each other, but it was so new. We weren't married. We weren't even engaged yet. Did you know that condoms are only 85% effective? They don't tell you these things! I had been on the pill, but when I moved to Hollywood and discovered that although I hovered between a size 4 and a size 6, I wasn't nearly thin enough to make it there. So, I quit taking it, hoping it would help me lose weight. "

"To be honest, I'm so glad I never got pregnant by any of the guys I dated before Sam. I'd hate to be stuck with them. Anyway, I did infomercials for years, finally got a couple of roles on Lifetime movies, and then I met Sam. He had just gotten a record deal and was working on that. We were enjoying each-other, and our careers were just starting to take off, and then I got pregnant. The timing was terrible."

"How old were you?" Santana asked, taking a sip of her water. Despite her doctor's and Blaine's assurances she still wasn't comfortable with drinking, even in moderation, while breastfeeding. She figured everyone else would be drinking so she volunteered to be the designated driver. It was fine though, she was happy just to be among friends for the night. It was so lonely when Finn was gone.

"I was twenty-eight," Quinn said with a shrug. "Although as far as IMDb was concerned, I was twenty-five. I know that's a perfectly respectable age to have a baby, but I thought, if I ever did have a family, I'd be mid-thirties at least. B that time I'd be past my prime, and have a bunch of work under my belt. I was never the type of girl that dreamed about having babies, ever. I dreamed of being famous. I was so scared to tell Sam, I was even considering getting an….well, you know," she croaked. She couldn't even say the word but they all knew what she was implying.

"But he was very laid-back about it, happy even," she continued. "He was so excited about the baby. He said that he couldn't wait to have a bunch of babies with me, and he proposed! I was worried about what it would do to my body, what it would do to my career. I wasn't well known enough then, so I was worried that no one would care about me when I tried to get back into acting, I was worried I'd get fat and no-one would hire me. Sam assured me that it would be great, I'd get my body back quickly, we'd take turns working on our projects and staying home with the baby so people wouldn't lose interest in us. He convinced me that we were financially secure enough, and that we loved each-other, and it would be great."

"So, we got married, which was an adjustment, because we weren't even living together before that. But we got used to it, and I actually became somewhat excited about having a baby. Mostly because Sam was so excited. And then Beth was born. It was too much too fast. Being a newlywed and having a baby was so hard, I had no idea. My friends were still single, childless, and only cared about going to clubs and being seen, so they stopped calling. I didn't know any other young mothers, Sam was busy working on his album, and I felt so alone. And Beth cried constantly."

"Wait. I'm sorry, is your husband Sam Evans the country singer?" Santana asked.

"Yeah, have you heard of him?" Quinn asked.

"Yes, I just heard his new song on the radio the other day. It's really good."

"Really?" Quinn asked. She wasn't ready to admit to the other women that she hadn't been talking to Sam at all, and had no idea that he had released a song, or that his album had even been completed. She was happy for him though. He deserved good things, especially after all the pain she had put him through.

"I was so tired, and I hated my new body. I felt fat, I had stretch marks, the hormones gave me acne, and the baby weight was not coming off as fast as I thought it would. Labor was awful, and I could barely move afterward. I felt so old and useless. Beth literally cried all the time, and she only took short naps here and there. The pediatrician said she had a severe case of colic, we tried all kinds of homeopathic drops, and gripe water, nothing helped. I gave her infant Tylenol all the time, mostly to help her feel better, but also for my own sanity. I'm not proud of it, but I even gave her benadryl a few times, just so we could sleep. I needed a break from the crying. The apartment was a mess, laundry was piling up. I used to fantasize about getting in the car, driving up to Santa Barbara and getting a hotel for the night, and pretending I was single and had no responsibilities."

"What about Sam, did he help?" Rachel asked. Quinn looked around at the other new mothers, expecting to see judgment, disgust, horror over the fact that she'd had this beautiful baby that she didn't seem to enjoy at all. Instead she saw concern, and even kindness.

"He tried to help, when he was home. He was working a lot on his album. One time he volunteered to do the laundry, but he mixed a red tank top in with a load of whites. Everything was ruined, and instead of appreciating that he tried, I was just angry that everything was an awful shade of pink." She paused, took another big sip of her wine, and then began to tell the story of the pierced ears, which was also her daughter's last day.

"She would not stop screaming, and finally, after three months, we figured that the only thing that ever sometimes worked, besides a bath, was going swimming. It was March, but we lived in Los Angeles, and it was unusually warm that week. So I took her down to the pool. I only had pre-baby bikinis, which weren't exactly flattering on my new figure, and I was self-conscious about my stretch marks, but I was desperate for her to calm down and since we didn't have air-conditioning in our building, a warm bath was out of the question. She didn't have a bathing suit yet, so I dressed her in shorts and a onesie, and a pink hat. The pool relaxed her, and I started to forget about my body insecurities, and then a woman came over and told me what a cute little boy she was. It seemed to happen every time we took her out, she was very cute, but people used to always assume she was a boy. So, we headed back to the apartment, and we both cried. She screamed because she always did, and I cried because I was so tired, and frustrated, and sick of people calling her a boy. None of us slept at all that night. We tried everythin; baths, nursing, burping, swaddling, walking, driving all around the greater Los Angeles area, Sam tried singing to her, and she would just not stop. Then finally around 7 am, she stopped, and fell asleep. Sam wasn't going to the studio until that afternoon, and he was so much more patient and better at handling the lack of sleep than I was. Probably because he wasn't home during the day, and he wasn't the one waking up to feed her. So, he volunteered to take her off my hands for a couple of hours and let me sleep. We needed diapers and frozen meals anyway."

"I got three blissful hours of uninterrupted sleep, and when I woke up, I actually sort of missed Beth and couldn't wait for them to come home. They got back a few minutes later, she was actually calm, but that's when I saw it. My husband had had the brilliant idea to get our three-month-old's ears pierced. His logic was that that way, no one would mistake her for a boy again. I was livid. He had put holes in my baby's head without even discussing it with me first. I would have made her wait until she was ten, at least."

"She was sweet that day. She started to fuss a little bit, and I nursed her, and she seemed to be content. I set her in her swing, and I was about to take a shower when I heard it running. Sam had beaten me to it. He was in there for no less than twenty minutes, used up all the hot water, and when he finally came out of the bathroom, he was dressed and ready to go to the studio. It only served to piss me off more. When was I going to get to take a shower?"

"He kissed us goodbye, and then he left, and I carried a grudge for the rest of the day. I would have done almost anything to go to work or even ride in a car! Finally, she went down for her afternoon nap, and I was able to shower. When I got out, I managed to get dressed and brush my teeth, and she was still sleeping. So I decided to run to the mailbox, it wasn't far away, I'd lock the apartment, and she'd be in her crib. I figured nothing could happen," she said, her voice starting to crack. Brittany, who was sitting to her left, squeezed her hand, and then she continued.

"I ran into a woman I had done an infomercial with a few years before. She was starting to get slightly bigger roles, just like I was, except she was still beautiful. She didn't have twenty extra pounds on her hips that refused to budge, or bags under her eyes, or stretch marks. We caught up a little bit. She was still single and having fun. She saw my wedding ring, and asked if I had kids yet, and I lied. I don't know why I did, but the word 'no' just slipped out. They say that mothers can sense when there is something wrong with their baby, but I didn't, and then while we were catching-up, there was an earthquake," she said, pausing as the tears started pouring out.

"I had never experienced one before, and didn't know what it was so it kind of freaked me out," Quinn divulged. "She told me that it was just a little earthquake and that they happen all the time. It wasn't what I thought an earthquake would be like. I thought they were all violent shaking, and this was gentle rolling, like we were on a boat, and I actually felt a little queasy. Looking back now, I wonder if my body was trying to tell me something. It didn't seem like a big deal because I couldn't see any damage, so we stayed and talked for a little while. I returned to the apartment, and it was quiet. I was relieved that Beth was somehow still sleeping, so I sat down and started to read a book. A novel that was actually enjoyable and had nothing to do with pregnancy or parenting! A couple of hours later, I still hadn't heard a peep from Beth, and the only thing that raised any concern was that she was way overdue for a feeding, and my breasts were starting to feel really full and uncomfortable."

"So, I went to the nursery, and it turned out the earthquake had caused damage, more damage than I could have ever imagined. We never baby-proofed," she sniffed, and she heard a gasp from Santana. She could see from the look on the other woman's face that it wasn't a judgmental type gasp, again, it was out of concern and sadness.

"We knew certain things were common sense, like keeping the knives out of reach, putting the toilet lid down, and plugging the electrical outlets, even though she wouldn't be crawling for a few more months." Quinn paused as she pushed her bangs out of her eyes. "She had this shelf above her crib, and we knew not to put anything hard or heavy. We just never even thought about stuffed animals being a problem. They fell into her crib and she suffocated. And it never even occurred to me to check on her. I could have gone in there right after the earthquake and I may have been able to save her."

"I quickly threw the stuffed animals on the floor, and held her lifeless body to me. I tried to remember what I could from the CPR class I took in high school. She wasn't breathing, wasn't moving, and she looked so peaceful. More peaceful than she had ever looked in life, and I just kept waiting for her to wake up, but she was cold. So cold. I don't remember much, but I must have called 911 because they arrived, and declared her dead on the scene. They said it, and it still didn't sink in. She was just sleeping, she had to be, and she'd be waking up any time for her feeding."

"After they told me a female police officer led me to the couch, rubbed my back and told me how sorry she was, and then asked if she could call my husband for me. I nodded, and that was the thing that worried me the most."

Topher began to fuss as the adults around him started to sniffle loudly. His mother tried to soothe him but he continued to squirm in her lap. Santana swaddled him in the blanket she had draped over her chair and he began to slowly calm down.

"You were worried about what Sam would do when he found out?" Rachel whispered.

"I wasn't worried that that my baby was dead because I still couldn't believe it. I was more worried how my _husband_would react, how much it would upset him." Quinn snarled. "They asked if I wanted to see her one more time, and I agreed. I really didn't want to. What I wanted was to remember her alive, even if her face was red and she was screaming. Not pale and lifeless. I agreed to see her, because I figured a good mom would. In those three months, I never felt like a real mom. I certainly didn't feel like a good mom. I felt like it was another acting job, and that I wasn't doing a very convincing job. A good mom could get her baby to stop crying, right? I could hardly ever get my kid to stop crying. And now I had to act like a grieving mom."

"I couldn't touch her, they wouldn't let me," she said quietly, and looked around the room. Tina and Mercedes were squeezing each other's hands, Brittany was wiping her eyes, Rachel was trying not to shake, and Santana was clutching Christopher tightly to her chest. All had tears streaming down their faces.

Quinn could hear herself starting to slur her words more but found she didn't care and tried to focus on finishing her story. It needed to get out of her head, maybe then it would stop haunting her.

"So," she continued, "I stood in the corner awkwardly, forced the tears, even though I was still in the 'complete and utter shock' stage as I waited for Sam to come home. I don't know how much longer it was before he did, I just remember him collapsing to the floor and screaming. I could only sit there frozen in the rocking chair. The coroner came to get Beth, and that was the last time we saw her. We had her cremated. I couldn't bear the thought of seeing a little tiny casket."

"I hung around for a few weeks until I couldn't handle it anymore. We were both so lost, and then the shock ended and the pain set in so I came home. I came here." Quinn paused as she quickly wiped her face. "I just wonder if it was karma because I never wanted a baby, because I considered abortion, or if I just would have check on her sooner. I wasn't even sure if I liked her," she sobbed. "I mean I loved her because she was mine, but in those three months, there was never a time where I was even sure I liked her."

"It wasn't your fault," Rachel said, wrapping her arms around the blonde. "It could have happened to any of us, it was an accident. It was a horrible accident that happened to you that you had no control over."

"I know," Quinn whispered. "But still." The tears soon became too much to hold back and she broke down, Rachel holding her until she could catch her breath.

It was quite late when almost everyone left in Santana's car. A ride home had been offered to Quinn as well, but she felt she needed to walk, promising that she was okay and would talk to Rachel the following day.

Quinn was more than a little drunk by that point. She wasn't really paying attention, but somehow she ended up in front of the internet café. It was still open, and the computers were unoccupied, so she went inside, and with her inhibitions lowered, composed an email to Sam. All it said was "**I'm okay**"which wasn't exactly true, but she was working on it, and _**"**_**I'm home**_**" **_which was most definitely true.


	27. October: Brittany

**A/n: thank you so much for all the reviews on the last chapter! I have been busy again, but I tried to post this earlier today, but my computer hates me. **

"How did it go?" Artie asked as Brittany returned to their apartment in one of her maternity suits. It was loose on her, but her pre-baby wardrobe was still not even close to fitting, and since Artie was still unemployed, new clothes were still out of the question.

"Great," she said in a voice that was dripping with sarcasm, although Artie didn't seem to notice. "I start next week."

"That's awesome honey, you're so lucky you get your job back," Artie said, using what had become Brittany's least favorite word over the last few months. People were constantly telling her how lucky she was that Artie was willing to stay home with the baby, but they had no idea. She was too embarrassed to tell them that he had been laid off, because really, it was just a nice way of saying that he got fired, and that made him sound like a loser. The last thing she wanted anyone to think was that she'd married a loser, because she hadn't married a loser. He was one of the most hard-working determined people when she met him. He qualified for disability checks, but never received them because he was capable of working, and he wanted to work. He never felt sorry for himself, and he didn't let it stop him. They'd both shared the opinion that disability checks were great for people that needed them, but they thought Artie didn't need them. Now Artie sat around and did nothing. He barely looked for jobs anymore, and barely took care of the baby. There was nothing "lucky" about it, Brittany was supposed to be the stay at home parent, and Artie was supposed to be the bread-winner. Now she'd have to go to work because the disability checks weren't cutting it, while her husband sat on his ass, and she'd still have to hire a baby-sitter or a nanny because she couldn't trust Artie to be the kind of parent Nathan deserved anymore. If one more person said she was lucky, she'd have to go all Lima Heights on someone, and it would probably be Artie.

The old Artie would have been outraged at the thought of her going back to work, especially when their son was so young. He also would have been offended that Brittany was effectively saying that he couldn't provide for their family so she'd have to. She hoped that when she suggested that she go back to work, that would be just the incentive Artie needed to try harder, but it hadn't happened that way, and Brittany wanted to cry.

"If that's what you want," he had said nonchalantly. "You know you don't have to, but if that's what makes you happy you probably should."

"Of course I have to!" Brittany almost shouted, and she would have too, if Nathan wasn't around. She had promised herself she'd never yell at Artie around her son, she didn't want to be like her parents were. She wanted her child to grow up better than that, so instead she spoke quietly but firmly. "If I don't go back work, we won't be able to live in our apartment, and we'll have to move to Lima Heights Adjacent. Do you know what goes down in Lima Heights Adjacent, Artie? Bad things!"

"That doesn't have to happen," Artie explained. "We have enough money in savings to last for years." It was true, they did have more money in savings than most people their age did. Artie had made some wise investments, and sold them just before the economy went bad. But twenty-eight years old was far too young to be dipping into that, even Brittany knew that. It would only last a couple of years and then it would be gone, and what would they do? Her husband needed to get a job. So, she turned away from him, and went to change into the yoga pants and t-shirt that she lived in when she wasn't wearing maternity clothes, and checked on Nathan, who had thankfully slept the entire time Brittany was gone. She was also thankful that colder weather was coming, so she could stay covered up.

When Artie didn't tell her she was crazy for going back to work, she'd hoped her boss would. That didn't happen either. The woman hugged her and practically cried tears of joy when Brittany asked if she could have her job back. Ever since a local magazine printed an article about the upcoming wedding of Lindsey Roberts, a Cleveland socialite, and David Rutledge, one of the upper mid-west's most successful entrepreneurs, that they were planning, they had been swamped. It seemed like every bride in Ohio had been calling, and people had even been wanting them to plan birthday parties and baby showers now, which they had never done before.

Brittany barely got started cleaning up Artie's socks, and newspaper, and lunch mess when Nathan started crying."Want me to get him?" He asked.

_I want you to get a job,_ Brittany thought. "No," she said coldly. It's not like he was ever much help with him anyways, and his idea of trying to care care of him was different than her idea of actually taking care of him. She was mid diaper change when the phone started ringing, and after the third time it was apparent that Artie had no plans to answer it, so she finished, grabbed her baby who was now only in a diaper and ran to answer it.

"You are so lucky Artie is on paternity leave," the voice on the other end said as soon as Brittany answered. "Finn is in Atlanta, and Topher must be teething. He is so clingy and fussy! Last night was so hard, we didn't get any sleep. And my son seems to think my boobs are a chew toy. I know I always said I'd breastfeed for a year, but if this continues, I'll have to stop."

_Who is this?_ Brittany thought. She had never heard Santana complain about motherhood or things being hard, and as far as she knew, she never let Finn do much to help with the baby anyway.

"I'm sorry you had a rough night," Brittany said, almost bitterly, guiding Nathan to her breast. She would have done anything for a break from Artie at this point, and it's not like Santana couldn't afford help, so she didn't know why she was complaining. Still, she had chosen to play the "paternity leave" card and not the "laid-off/fired" card, so she had to pretend it was a good thing. Their little group of friends all got along, but they had each formed their own little cliques. Tina and Mercedes were particularly close, as were Rachel and Quinn, and Brittany had bonded the most with Santana. But she wasn't quite ready to admit to her very wealthy friend with the seemingly perfect life and perfect marriage that her own husband had lost his job and wasn't even looking. Santana wasn't quite ready to admit that her life wasn't so perfect either, but saying that motherhood could be hard sometimes was a step. Brittany would have hired help in a heartbeat if she could afford it, and now it was looking like she would have to find a way to, but she knew everyone was different.

"Anyways, I'm sorry for complaining," Santana said, "I just needed to tell someone. How are you? How did your interview go?"

Brittany knew that Santana probably thought she was crazy for wanting to go back to work three months after giving birth, but the bills had to get paid, so she pretended it was fine and that she was thankful even.

"I'm fine," Brittany said, trying to sound more optimistic, "the interview was great!"

"That's great," Santana said. "How's Nate? How's Artie?"

"Nate is amazing," She said, rubbing fine white-blonde hair. "Artie is good, too, so busy! He's got so many opportunities, we're just waiting until the baby is a little older," she lied, glancing over at the pile of dirty sweatpants and t-shirts Artie had left in the corner. "We're all just fine," she said as Artie came into the bedroom. "I've got to go, but it was nice talking to you. Sorry I had to miss our walk today!"

"Who was that?" Artie asked grabbing the laptop off the bed. She tried not to get too mad, she hoped he was using it strictly for job searches, but he didn't always remember to clear the browsing history and she had seen the sports and Michael Jackson related website he had been visiting.

"Santana," Brittany muttered as she fixed her bra, settled Nathan on her hip, and brushed past Artie and back into the nursery to put a clean onesie on him.

"How is she doing?"

"She's fine," Brittany muttered again.

"I bet it's tough on her with Finn being out of town. Which reminds me, I'm gonna turn the tv on now before I miss the game. Is that okay?" He asked, and turned it on before she even got a chance to say anything. Brittany just sighed, it's not like Artie would ever forget to turn the tv on in time for a football game anyway.

"I'm gonna run to the store," Brittany said upon entering the kitchen and realizing that they had nothing. "Is spaghetti okay?" She was exhausted and didn't feel like cooking. They couldn't exactly afford take-out anymore, so at least this would be fairly quick.

"Sounds good, can you make meatballs too?"

"Sure," she said, not really feeling like arguing, but it was more time and work than she felt like putting into it.

She returned 30 minutes later, and Artie nervously minimized the computer screen and went back to the job search website he was supposed to be looking at, But Brittany definitely saw that he was filling out some kind of fantasy sports draft. She prepared dinner with Nathan watching from his bouncy seat on the counter, because at least she knew she would pay attention to him. But it was hard, he was getting to such a fun age, and he was babbling and waving his arms excitedly and smiling. She wanted to stop and play with him, but she knew if she didn't make dinner that they wouldn't eat. She finally finished cooking, and they ate in relative awkward silence. Relative silence because Artie complained about how sore and tired he was, but that was the only conversation they had. Brittany didn't respond much, she was sore and tired too! When they were done, she got up and did the dishes, while Artie settled down in the living room with the baby in one hand, and a beer in the other. He didn't offer to help, of course, because he never did. Brittany didn't mind at first. She'd always done the laundry, and the cooking, and the dishes, because Artie made so much more money than she did, and house-work was harder for him, so she thought it was only fair. And she liked being a traditional wife, even though she worked too, but things were different now. She was doing everything, and she kind of resented him not at least offering to help.

She was just finishing up when Nathan started to cry, and Artie absent-mindedly laid him over his shoulder and tapped his back with his fingers because he couldn't be bothered to put his beer down. Of course the cries only intensified, so she swooped in and carried him to his room to nurse him. He was tired and hungry anyway. It took a while to get him to sleep, because every time he would close his eyes, Artie would yell at the tv. Finally, thirty-seven minutes past his strictly scheduled bed time, he was asleep. Brittany laid him in his crib, and watched him sleep for a few moments before creeping out to the living room.

"I'm going to take a shower, can you please try to keep it down. I had trouble getting him to sleep," she said. When she was done, she headed to the office to log Nathan's feedings, naps, and diapers for the day and tried to hold back the sobs as she composed a cheerful email to her colleagues and work contacts, explaining that she was coming back to work early. As soon as she pressed _send, _the tears came, so she closed the door and sat in there and cried until Nathan woke up again. The game was over, and Artie was asleep by that point, she tip-toed into the cheerful yellow and blue duck-themed nursery and carried her son over to the glider. The only light was coming from the moon and from the porcelain ducky nightlight, but her son almost took her breath away. When he was a newborn, his head hadn't grown into his nose or his ears, and she had to admit that he kind of looked like Popeye's baby Sweetpea. But now he had filled out and was so soft and sweet and kissable and handsome. When he was sleeping once again, she quietly made her way to her bedroom and eased herself under the covers next to Artie, wishing more than ever, that she had a couch to sleep on.

"Brittany?" He said a few minutes later, but she ignored him, hoping he'd think she was already asleep.

"Brittany?" He said again. It hadn't worked. "Brittany, can we talk about this?"

As far as she was concerned, there was nothing to talk about. He needed to get a job, and that was it. A job like he had before, where he would make enough money so that she could stay home and be a mom.

"You don't have to go back to work if you don't want to." He continued, reaching for her hand.

"Did you get a job?" She snapped, pulling her hand away and resting it under her head.

"No, I haven't gotten a job since dinner, would you lay off me? I'm trying." He said, sounding pathetic.

"Look, I don't mind going back to work," she lied. "But you need to be working too. My income and your disability checks aren't going to cut it, and you'll probably stop getting them once I start working anyway. It's not enough, and we'll have to move. Nathan will have to have hand-me-downs, and I'll have to go back to my natural hair color and wear maternity clothes forever. And you'll have to cancel your cable," she added.

"I want to find a job that I like," he said in that same whiny tone. "That takes time, I want a job that makes me happy."

"Work isn't supposed to be fun, that's why it's called work," she snapped. Planning weddings for Bridezillas wasn't going to make her happy anymore, but she was doing it. She wanted to be a mom, that would have made her happy, but she wasn't complaining, because she had to work and she accepted that.

"I'm going to sleep," she said, and turned over. But she couldn't sleep. Soon Artie was snoring and it kept her awake, and she just laid there watching the numbers on the clock change until the baby woke up again.


	28. October: Rachel

**a/n: Sorry this chapter took so long, but here it is, and the good news is that I finally got a Beta! So, thanks to StarsAreAMetaphor for all the help on this chapter! She really helped a lot with the direction of it, and cleaning it up. She's awesome, and you should all check out her stories. She's a multi-shipper like I am, so she has something for everyone! Enjoy and review! :)**

* * *

Nancy Puckerman had been staying with her son and daughter-in-law for almost a month and it was driving Rachel crazy. It had been safe for Nancy to return home after three days, but it appeared she was having too much fun taking over her son's life. She had moved into their master bedroom, dressed their daughter in highly inappropriate clothing for an infant, and then decided to stay a little while longer while her kitchen was being renovated. For the second time in three years. The whole thing was ridiculous, too, because the woman very rarely cooked.

"Look, we're twins!" Nancy announced, rounding the corner into the kitchen late Tuesday morning with Evita. Rachel almost choked on her coffee when she saw both of them in matching red tank tops, pleather mini skirts, and go-go boots. It was the kind of outfit Rachel only saw on the girls that walked the streets in Lima's crack infested west end, and she wondered where one would even get that kind of attire for an infant. She mentally reminded herself to throw the outfit in the trash when her mother-in-law wasn't looking.

"Why is my three-month-old dressed like she works on a pole?" she spat.

"You don't like it, dear? We were a hit at the park yesterday. Everyone loved that we were dressed alike, especially the **gays.** People even thought I was her mother and said how thin I looked for having had a baby recently." Nancy bragged.

_Don't forget old_, Rachel thought, although she didn't dare say it. Her mother-in-law was constantly blathering about supposed compliments she received over her appearance, her youthful body in particular. It was easy to tune them out because the woman was obviously insecure and anyone could see how ridiculous she looked. Yes, she was thin, but that didn't mean she looked good, and her sense of style was highly embarrassing. Rachel thought she was too thin, and honestly, it made her look older. She wasn't jealous of the older woman, not in the least, Rachel may have been plump, but she knew she would never be that insecure.

"I just don't think she needs to dress like you all the time," Rachel explained. "She's a baby, a little girl! She needs to wear pastel dresses, onesies with flowers and frogs on them, and she needs to be comfortable. I can't imagine that she enjoys wearing that, that pleather." _And she's my baby, not yours. If she should match anyone, it should be me_, she wanted to yell..

"She could match you too. I'm sure we could have a skirt made in your size," Nancy said.

"That's okay, I need to dress a little more respectfully at work," Rachel struggled to explain calmly. Now she was fuming. It's not like she was that big. She shopped at regular stores, it was just that she had more self-respect than that, and faux shiny leather was tacky.

"Speaking of work, I need to get going," she continued. "Please don't feed her anything besides her bottles while I'm gone. I left more than enough milk, and be sure to put lots of sunscreen and a hat on Evita if you go anywhere."

"Of course, dear," Nancy said. "We need to protect that bald little head. Which reminds me, when do you think she'll grow some hair? She'll be so beautiful once it comes in."

Rachel didn't respond and tenderly gave her daughter a kiss on the head. It's not that she didn't care, but in her eyes Evita was already beautiful. She had faith that her daughter would have a full head of hair eventually, and it didn't concern her at all that she was still bald. She was a baby, after all.

She hated having to leave her daughter with Nancy and begged Noah to take her to the daycare at the hospital. Noah refused, out of fear of offending his mother. While knowing that Nancy loved the little girl and had also successfully raised an amazing man should have made Rachel feel better, she still didn't trust her. To add to her frustration Evita had seemed extra cranky lately, she'd caught them watching Schindler's List on more than one occasion, and there had been strong evidence in Evita's diaper that suggested that someone had fed her fried rice.

When she returned home at seven o'clock that night, things were chaotic. Evita should have been winding down and waiting for Rachel to nurse her then put her to bed. Instead, her daughter was bright red and screaming her head off.

"What's wrong?" Rachel said sharply. She snatched the baby from her mother-in-law's arms with a scowl on her face. Although she wasn't certain the distress was the older woman's fault, she still hated to see it, and the whole situation made her feel uncomfortable.

"I don't know, she just started crying a few minutes ago. She must know that playtime with grandma is almost over for the day," she explained, but Rachel was not convinced. Evita felt hot, and it was evident that she had been screaming for a while.

"I'm going to feed her and then put her to bed. We'll see you tomorrow," she said to Nancy, eager to get away from her and get her daughter calmed down. Except that she couldn't exactly get away, the older woman plopped down on the couch, which had become the makeshift master bedroom and turned on a loud reality tv show.

"Do you mind?" Rachel asked, glaring her mother-in-law.

"Oh, sorry!" Nancy replied melodramatically. She rolled her eyes, clicked the volume button a few times and went back to her program.

Rachel's jaw clenched as she tried to keep herself calm for the child in her arms. "You know," she said sweetly. "I'm actually trying to get her to sleep, which is proving impossible considering all the distractions you are currently providing. Maybe you could watch that upstairs?"

The older woman huffed and slammed the remote down on the couch before stomping all the way up the stairs and shutting the door to the master bedroom harder than she needed to.

"That's better," Rachel said, rubbing her baby's head. "Mommy missed you so much today, little star. Let's get you fed," she cooed. After a few more minutes in her mother's arms the baby's screams had turned to sobs.

She was clearly more relaxed being with her mother, she was still upset for some reason. It was then that Rachel noticed the tiny red bumps in Evita's mouth. When she unsnapped the onesie to see if they were anywhere else, her daughter vomited all over both of them. It wasn't like the spit-up that she sometimes had, it shot out of her, landing all over the place, and it smelled horrible.

"Oh my God," Rachel gasped. She sped off to the bathroom with the baby, trying not to gag, as she removed their soiled clothes. That's when she noticed that her daughter's belly was also covered in tiny red bumps. After tripping over her own feet, she scowled when she realized that Noah's mother was staying adjacent to the bathroom with the only bathtub in the house. Evita made another gurgling noise and Rachel ran faster to the only other option, the shower.

The frantic mother did her best to hold the squirming baby with one arm while getting them both clean and trying not to slip, which was no easy feat, but she managed to get through it. The shower helped, to a degree, and Evita's sobs turned to pathetic whimpers. The infant even seemed hungry so after Rachel nursed her she eventually fell into a fitful sleep.

The night was a rough one with Evita waking up more than usual because she was still not feeling well. In the morning, she was fine but Rachel and Noah, however, were exhausted. Fortunately it was Rachel's day off, but Noah wasn't so lucky. Rachel kept Evita home that day, declining playgroup with her friends, worried that even though Evita was much better, she might pass something on to the other babies.

When Rachel returned from the work the following day, it was the same thing all over again. Evita was screaming but this time the bumps were all over, and Rachel felt even worse for working when her baby was obviously still sick.

She was so glad that because of her connections through Mercedes and Kurt and was able to get her daughter seen on such short notice, so they didn't have to go to the emergency room.

"It appears to be an allergic reaction," Dr. Anderson said when he examined her on Friday morning.

"But she's exclusively breast-fed," Rachel asserted. "That hasn't changed."

"It might be something you're eating, sometimes babies develop allergies to something in their mother's diet after a while," he explained. "You might want to eliminate dairy and gluten for a while and see if that makes a difference. In the meantime, you can give her some baby Benadryl to help with the symptoms."

"Thank you Dr. Anderson," she said, scooping Evita up and holding her close.

"It's no problem." he reaffirmed. "Don't hesitate to call me if things get worse or don't improve. And it's Blaine, you know that! Which reminds me, are you coming to our Halloween party?"

"Of course, we wouldn't miss, it. Thanks, Blaine," Rachel smiled.

"Anytime, see you then," he smiled back and squeezed Evita's foot.

Rachel immediately cut out dairy and gluten along with several other common allergens, but Evita hadn't really improved. Rachel, however, lost five pounds in a week. She was thrilled, but felt guilty for being happy about it when her baby was so miserable. She had noticed that Evita only seemed to get sick on days that she worked. She was completely stumped. As a last resort she went through the pantry, gathering up all the plastic bottles, to get rid of them and replace them with glass ones. That's when she saw it. Hidden behind jars of preserves and marinara sauce was an opened and half-empty can of soy formula. She was livid and pulled out her phone to text her husband.

_I hope you're on your way home because I am about go all Death Star on your moth_er.

After eight years together, Noah's movie geekery was undeniably rubbing off on her.

* * *

"What's wrong?" he asked, when he returned from the gym a few minutes later.

"I've discovered the root of our daughter's sudden decline in health. It seems your mother has been sneaking her soy formula and I think she's allergic to it," she seethed, handing over the can.

"What? Do you not leave enough breast milk?" he asked. He didn't want to assume the worst in his mother but knew his wife had no reason to lie.

"Oh, I leave plenty." she growled. "There's enough in the freezer for her to live off for weeks! Haven't you noticed how she only gets sick on days that I work?"

"I guess," he sighed. "I'll talk to her about it tonight."

"No. We're dealing with this right now." Rachel ordered."You always say you're going to talk to her, but things never change. She's been here almost a month, dressing our daughter in slut-wear, undermining everything I do, ignoring all my rules, constantly criticising me, and I'm sick of it! And I want my fucking bed back. Do you realise we haven't had sex since before Evita was born?"

Of course he realised, he was a man with needs, after all. But first she wasn't cleared for it, and then she had her struggles with post-partum depression, and ever since she had been feeling better, Noah's mom had been staying in their bedroom. But he was like a sex-shark, he was afraid if he didn't get some soon, he might die. He was relieved that Rachel finally brought it up.

"Mom!" he called up the stairs, "Can you come down here please?"

"Hi Darling," she said, kissing her son on the cheek when she descended with a tutu clad baby. "How was the gym? Your arms are looking very buff."

"Mom, we need to talk about the Jewish elephant in the room," he said, gesturing to the can of formula on the kitchen table. "Rachel found this hidden in the back of the pantry, would you know anything about it?"

"Of course, dear, I bought it," she said, as if it was no big deal.

"Rachel leaves plenty of breast milk, and we prefer that Evita drinks that", he explained calmly.

"I heard that breast milk can cause obesity, and lets face it, Evita is getting chunky. I just figured the boys would never call her if she was a fatty. And soy is healthy, have you ever seen a fat vegan? Besides, the website for this formula says Dr. Oz endorses it," Nancy said, glaring at her slightly overweight daughter-in-law.

"Excuse me, are you on drugs? Babies are supposed to be chubby," Rachel interrupted.

"What?" Nancy gasped. "Of course not, I have never been so offended in my life! Noah, are you going to let this woman speak to me like this?"

"I'm sorry mom, but Rachel is right." Noah began. "We're Eva's parents, not you, and that means we make the decisions about what she wears and what she eats. You shouldn't have done this without asking us first. Have you noticed how sick she has gotten? You could have seriously harmed her. You knew we wouldn't approve of this, so that's why you were hiding it. And also, Rachel is not some woman. She's my wife, and frankly, you've been horrible to her since you met her. I love you, but Rachel and Eva have to come first."

"I..." Nancy stammered, "You! You did this, you stole my son away and then turned him against me!" She fumed, pointing at Rachel.

"Mother, I think it's time for you to leave," he said firmly.

Nancy plopped Evita down on the edge of the couch, disregarding the fact that she was likely to fall, and stomped up the stairs before slamming the door.

Rachel and Noah wasted no time rushing to their daughter's aid, running into each other and collapsing to the ground in the process. Noah got up first to rescue the baby, and Rachel just looked at him with a guilty expression on her face.

She twirled a strand of hair as her eyes darted between their daughter and the floor, "I'm so sorry, Noah. I know she's your mother and the drugs comment was taking it a little too far. I shouldn't have said it."

"You really are something, you know that?" he murmured.

"In a good way or a bad way?" she squeaked.

"In an amazing way," he said, helping her to her feet and tilting her face up to kiss her. "I am so turned on by you right now."

"Your face tastes awesome," she drawled, as she took his hand and placed it on her breast.

"Are you finally going to let me motor-boat those twins?" he asked eagerly.

"And then some." she purred. "Dr. Puckerman, I'm going to rock. your. world."

* * *

Two hours later the house was blissfully quiet. Evita was napping, everything "Nancy" was noticeably absent, and Rachel and Noah were catching their breath after their first sexual encounter in months. After a few minutes of just listening to the silence, the bedside phone rang.

"Hello?" Rachel said.

"Rachel?" the trembling voice asked.

It was Santana, and she was crying.

"What's wrong Santana?" Rachel pleaded. Breaking down wasn't something she had come to expect from her friend. The woman with the perfect life and the perfect family, who always seemed to have everything under control was losing it over the phone, and it was frightening to hear.

"Something happened," Santana croaked. "Can you come over?"

Santana was clearly distraught, and Rachel felt as if her heart had just dropped into her stomach.

"Is it the baby? Is Christopher okay?"

"Christopher is fine," Santana said in between sobs. "Just please come? Please?"

"I'll be there as soon as I can," Rachel assured her. "Hang in there."

"Thank you. Rachel? Don't listen to the radio," Santana begged. "Just please promise me that you won't listen to the radio on your way over."

"I promise," Rachel murmured. "And I'll be there as soon as I can. Give me half an hour to get the baby and I ready. It's going to be okay Santana."

After a quick and shower, because she couldn't go to her distraught friend's aid smelling of sex**, **she grabbed Evita, the diaper bag and she was on her way.


	29. October: Santana

**a/n: First of all, thanks so much for the reviews on the last chapter. Y'all are awesome! Second, I'm sorry I left you with a cliff-hanger for so long. I had to go out of town, so things were out of my control for a while. Third, thanks so much to Starsareametaphor for being my beta. You're awesome too! Fourth, I have a feeling some of you might not like me very much after this chapter. Just trust that Santana is my favorite, and please stick with it? lol.**

The day Santana's world came crumbling down around her had started just like any other day. Actually, it had quite an enjoyable beginning. Christopher had let her sleep for six hours straight, for the first time ever, she and Finn had the best sex they'd had since Topher was born, and finally Topher woke up with a sweet grin and happy babbling. Finn kissed them good-bye before leaving on another trip to Dallas, then she and the baby took a nice leisurely bath. Since no one was around except for the maid, and she didn't particularly care, she chose to forego contacts for the day and stay in glasses, and didn't even bother with her hair or makeup. She put on a pair of sweatpants and her favorite of Finn's button-up shirts. It was faded and loose, but it was soft and most of all, it smelled like him. She had found it in box intended for Goodwill one day, and put it on. When Finn came home that afternoon and saw her in it, he suddenly had to jump her bones, right there in the foyer. He didn't care that the maid was in the kitchen because Santana looked far sexier in his shirt that he ever had and he had to have her right then. That passionate display was nearly five years ago but he knew he'd never be able to get rid of it. So now, he slept in it the night before he went out of town, and she wore it to bed whenever he was gone. It made her feel safe, and made the nights away a little easier. She smiled at the memory as she put Topher in a new pair of footie pajamas, grabbed a blanket, and she and her son had breakfast on the back patio.

The weather was about as perfect as one could ask for in mid-October. The sky was beautiful and cloudless, it wasn't too cold, the leaves were beginning to change, and everything smelled so good. It was a quiet Saturday, and she didn't have work to get to she was really enjoying it. Her job was being a mother now, focused on her son's development and that was just the way she liked it. She'd said that to her friends once, and Rachel and Mercedes about died laughing, and Brittany made a weird face that Santana couldn't quite decipher. Sadness maybe? Or jealousy, which was odd because Brittany seemed so enthusiastic about going back to work. So maybe she did take her role too seriously, but after the lack of hands-on parenting she'd received growing up, there was nothing more important to her.

Some of the other players' wives had invited her over for lunch, but she didn't feel like going. She realized when she was first dating Finn that she had nothing in common with them. He played for the Carolina Panthers then, but all the football wives she'd ever met seemed to be the same. They were all a bunch of phony gold-diggers who were completely vacuous, and more than one of them had drunkenly admitted to getting pregnant on purpose and trapping their men into marriage. Plus, she knew there would be lots of questions like "Are you still breastfeeding?" and "Have you hired a nanny yet?". The answer to the first question was still "yes" and the second answer was "of course not". She really didn't need to hear once again what breastfeeding would do to her boobs, or how much more time she would have to shop, get manicures, and 'be there' for her husband if she had a nanny. Instead of having to deal with their annoying questions she preferred to stay home and bond with her perfect son.

At ten o'clock, Tina called her desperately seeking advice on how to calm Lily, who was suddenly refusing to nap. Santana smiled smugly to herself when she suggested that the four month old still needed to be swaddled, and it turned out that was exactly what she needed. Lily stopped crying, falling asleep almost immediately, and Tina thanked her friend profusely. Santana loved the fact that she was the youngest out of all of her friends, and she was kicking ass at this whole mom thing. They were constantly calling her for advice, and it seemed like her baby was the calmest and happiest out of all of them, just as long as he was in her arms. Her job was being Topher's mother, and she was damn good at it. If she was being honest though, she didn't really know what she was doing. Sure, she had more of a maternal instinct than she ever imagined, and she even surprised herself, but every other aspect of parenting was learned from a book. Six months ago, she had no idea how to be a parent, she barely had parents of her own to learn from. Her nanny cared about her enough she supposed, and had good intentions, but she had five kids of her own and was constantly busy and stressed. Santana practically raised herself, and was terrified of raising someone else, but she loved him more than life itself, so things were kind of falling into place.

Finn called to say that he had landed safely and that he loved them. They talked until his town car arrived then she and Topher did their mommy-and-me yoga in their home studio, had tummy-time for a good forty-five minutes, which the six month old was actually starting to enjoy, and then it was time for strained peas in his highchair complete with airplane noises. She shook her head as she was doing it, feeling ridiculously silly, but seeing the way Topher laughed when she did it, she continued. Pre-baby Santana swore she'd never resort to that, but it made Topher smile and made feeding easier. Lunch was messy, but Santana managed to get some of it in the baby's mouth, and then they headed upstairs for another bath. The happy infant was covered in the green mess so she decided she might as well get in too, because she had nothing else to do, and loved their bath time together. After the bath she nursed him, and he went down for his nap easily. After making sure he was sound asleep and secure in his crib, she headed to the mailbox. Of course, Quinn's story was fresh in her mind, but their house had been baby-proofed and since Ohio wasn't known for earthquakes, she trusted her intuition.

Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw, though. Sitting at the top of the day's mail was the latest issue of USweekly with the headline "Baby Number Two On the Way For Finn Hudson" written in bold white letters above their wedding picture on the cover. Her heart sank, not that she wouldn't love more children, but she definitely wasn't pregnant. Her period had returned with a vengeance just the week before, and while she and Finn weren't as "active" as they were before the baby, she had been on the pill since her six week post-baby checkup. She just hated the fact that the media was making up rumors about her family. She and Topher were not celebrities and she dreaded the amount of attention they would get from this story. And since there was nothing more important to her than having a family, she didn't think this was the kind of thing people should make up or start rumors about. She immediately began to feel sick to her stomach, just looking at the cover, and slowly made her way up her ridiculously long driveway before sitting down on the couch to read the offending article.

The article, she quickly found out, was not about her. It was about some twenty-one year old slut in Dallas who claimed to be pregnant with his child. Santana didn't know what to think. While the magazine was more respectable than a lot of other checklane reading, and she read it religiously, it was still a tabloid. However, there were pictures of Finn in front of this woman's apartment, and he had been going to Dallas a lot over the last few months. Her mind flashed back to the perfume she smelled, and the terrible thoughts she had when he showed up late for Topher's birth, and she could just picture her mother saying "told you so." She then did something she had never done before: she opened Finn's credit card bill. As soon as she did, tears stung at her eyes, and the bile was making its way up her throat. Her husband was cheating on her, she was sure of it. With her hand over her mouth, she ran to the bathroom, and barely made it there before emptying the entire contents of her stomach.

After regaining her composure, she reached for her phone to call Finn. He finally picked up on the seventh attempt, not that she could be more furious.

"Hey babe," he said, grinning when he saw her name on the caller I.D. "What's up?"

"Don't 'Hey babe' me Hudson," she hissed. "How could you?" It wasn't a question, it was more an angry accusation.

"How could I what? What are you talking about?" he squeaked.

"I know about her. My mother warned me that you'd be a philanderer, I should have listened."

Finn paused as he exhaled, "I don't even know how you found out, I am so stupid sometimes." he mumbled.

"It doesn't matter how I know, but it's out," she said harshly.

"I'm so sorry San, I was going to tell you about her, I just didn't know how," he rambled. " You've been so cold and distant ever since Topher was born and I don't know how to talk to you anymore."

"Don't you dare blame this on me," she yelled. "You did this! I've been cold and distant toward you because I've suspected this for months, since the day our son was born, when I went into pre-term labor and I needed you, and then you showed up smelling like perfume. And I had a baby, I had too much going on."

"Yeah, but you also have a husband, and I just feel like we're drifting apart lately. Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but it happened and she's in my life now and she's important to me." he explained.

"Ugh, you are unbelievable," she cried.

"When I get home I'll tell you everything," he sighed.

"Don't bother! I don't want to hear about it, not until you've gotten a DNA test and an STD test. I'm still breastfeeding, Finn. What if you gave me something and I pass it on to the baby? Did you ever think of that?"

"We're getting a DNA test already, even though the results are pretty obvious. But I don't think an STD test is necessary."

"Why?" she barked. "Because she told you she was clean and you trust her?"

"Well, I do trust her, but it's not like that," he started.

"You are unreal," Santana interrupted. "I realize you are as dumb as a bag of wet hair, but I can't believe you would do something this stupid. Don't bother hurrying home, you're not exactly my favorite person at the moment," she said before hanging up.

She sat there and cried for a few minutes, then she got up, wiped her eyes, and checked to make sure Christopher was still breathing before she planted a kiss on the side of his head and lifted him into her arms. She told the maid to take the rest of the day off, and then she called her friends and asked them to come over. Her only request was to please not to listen to the radio on their way there, just in case the news had spread. Then she went to the front porch and waited.

Brittany arrived first, and barely stopped the engine before jumping out to to hug her friend and grab Topher who was being held like a sack of potatoes and spilling tears and drool all over his mother's tennis bracelet. "What happened?" Brittany asked, while trying to calm the curly haired baby boy. She wondered how long he had been crying, and if Santana even noticed. She didn't seem to.

"I want to wait until everyone is here," Santana muttered, and then she saw Quinn getting Nathan out of his carseat, and Mercedes pulling up.

"She was helping me with Nate when you called, so she came with me, I hope that's alright," Brittany explained, gesturing toward their newest friend.

Rachel and Tina arrived a few minutes later with their babies, hugged Santana, who couldn't be bothered to hug them back, and followed her into the house while exchanging worried glances. They had never seen her like this. She was always so beautiful and impeccably put together, even while exercising, so for her to be in sweatpants and a men's shirt in the middle of the afternoon, something must have been very wrong. Rachel had also never seen her in glasses, and assumed she must have normally worn contacts, which she didn't even know about her friend. Plus the fact that the most hands-on, attached, and attentive parent in the group was ignoring her baby while he cried was raising some major concerns. She was, however, relieved to see that Topher was alive and appeared to be healthy and unharmed. Even though Santana said he was fine, it was good to actually see, with Quinn's story still fresh in her mind. And, being a mother, the baby was the first thing she had thought about when her friend called her in hysterics. They all sat down on the over-sized couch across from Santana, each with their own baby in their lap, and Topher in Quinn's, and looked at her expectantly.

She knew she couldn't stall any longer, and plopped the magazine down on the coffee table in front of them.

"You were such a beautiful bride," Brittany gushed when she saw the cover. "Oh my God, you're pregnant again?" she added after a few seconds, having finally read the headline, "But that's a good thing, you love being a mom. Why are you so upset?"

"No," Santana cried. "I'm not pregnant. Finn…." she croaked. "He went to Dallas and he met..." she paused. "There is a woman. A twenty-one year old girl there who says she's carrying his baby."

They all just stared at her, jaws practically hitting the coffee table when Brittany finally spoke up.

"I don't believe it. Finn wouldn't do that. We've all seen the way he looks at you, he practically worships you. Plus, he's just too nice."

"How do you know?" Santana barked.

Brittany jumped slightly in her seat and looked like she was about to cry.

"H-he did do it. He a-admitted it. And I t-trusted him." Santana said in-between sobs.

A few seconds later the distraught woman made the most gut-wrenching sound, doubled over and collapsed to the ground. She literally felt like her heart was being ripped out, and the pain was worse than childbirth. Rachel quickly handed Evita over to Mercedes and wrapped her arms around the thinner woman. She seemed so fragile that Rachel was afraid of breaking her, and cautiously led her over to the couch.

"Was it just a one-time thing?" Rachel asked.

"No. I've suspected it for months," Santana bawled. "He's been wearing that gassy infant look that he only wears when he feels guilty about something, and the day Christopher was born, I smelled another woman's perfume on him, and I just checked his credit card bill. He's been making payments to a hospital in Dallas."

"Oh, Santana," Tina said sadly, squeezing her friend's hand. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Santana choked out. "But I can't leave him. Not with a baby. I won't do that to Topher."

She knew that wasn't ideal. She knew she'd look weak, like an idiot, and be a national joke. She'd stand by him, hold his hand, and flash that smile that had won her the title of "Miss North Carolina" while he made a public apology and showered her with diamonds. It was like a bad country song and everyone would laugh at her; but what choice did she have? She promised to love, honor, and cherish him, and she took that seriously. Even though he made those same vows and she wondered how he could throw them away like that. More importantly, she had a son who deserved better than what she had. She and Finn weren't her own parents, and Topher deserved better than that. He deserved, no he needed to grow up in a stable home with both of his parents.

Rachel's voice was gentle and kind, just like she always hoped her own mother's had been when she was growing up. "Maybe you should talk to Finn?" she posed.

"I have nothing more to say to him. Nothing at all," Santana said coldly, then remained stoic as she walked out the door, into the backyard and over to the fire pit. She peeled off Finn's shirt that had brought her so much comfort, doused it in lighter fluid, lit a match, and watched it burn. Her friends followed her outside, and Rachel put her arms around her again. Just like the clouds that had formed in Santana's personal life in just a few hours, they had begun to form in the sky, and it was far too cold to be out there in the thin tank-top that she was now wearing, but she pushed Rachel away.

They stood there in silence and watched the flames, not knowing what else to do or say, until they were interrupted by soft whimpers.

"Shhhh, little one, it's okay," Quinn soothed. She kissed the baby's temple and rubbed small, gentle circles on his back. After several minutes his cries intensified, and no amounts of rocking, bouncing, or shushing could calm him. He was reaching toward his mother, hands opening and closing in his own little way of pleading with her to comfort him.

"Santana, your baby needs you."

**a/n: Um, please don't hate me? Even if you do, please review? lol**


	30. October: Mercedes

a/n: ugh, sorry. I cannot believe it's been over three months since I've updated this! I have excuses, but no one wants to hear them I'm sure :) .It's just life getting in the way again! Big thanks to Starsaremetaphor and All The Jazz for beta-ing this chapter for me. This is technically a Kurtcedes chapter but there is a lot of Finntana, just because I couldn't NOT include it after last chapter. Thanks for all the reviews. It's been so long, I don't remember who I replied too. So I'm sorry if I skipped you.

After a lengthy discussion, and lots of grumbling from Finn, it had been agreed upon weeks ago to attend their friend's party and dress up as a family, but that was before the scandal broke, when things were still okay. Now, he wasn't sure if Santana still wanted to coordinate with him, or if she still wanted him to go, for that matter, and he definitely wasn't crazy about the idea of wearing eyeliner, but when she laid is costume outside the guest bedroom that he had been staying in the for the past two weeks, he figured he better do it. He was pretty sure it was all part of her plan to get back at him, but he was willing to do anything to get off her shit list at this point, so he went along with it. She wasn't happy with him, that was for sure, but it was Topher's first Halloween, so she was determined to make it normal and fun for him, even if he wouldn't remember it. Her sweet, kissable, innocent baby boy with her pouty lips and dark eyes and his father's dimples; she'd give him the world if she could. He deserved it, and so much more. So, she put on her wench costume that made it painfully obvious how much weight she had lost in the past two weeks, not that she had any to lose in the first place, and she tried to put on a smile for the cute little pirate baby she held in her arms, but her smile didn't quite reach her eyes.

The first annual Hummel-Jones-Anderson Halloween party was a smashing success. The house was in a middle class neighborhood filled with lots of young families, so they were getting lots of trick-or-treaters. The husbands got to talk serious football with a well camouflaged Finn, the mothers and babies enjoyed each other's company, but most of all it was an excuse to enjoy delicious food and fun seeing everyone in their creative costumes. The Hudsons had decided to go dressed as a family before the "incident", so with Finn's guyliner, eye-patch, and dreadlocks he wasn't recognizable to people who didn't know him. Santana had almost called to let the trio know they weren't coming but decided she needed to follow through because her friends needed her, and needed to see that she was okay. So, as uncomfortable as he was, Finn pretty much got left alone by everyone except for Artie and Kurt. They were major fans, and ordinarily, it might have been obnoxious, but his wife certainly wasn't talking to him, so at least someone was.

"So, how are you holding up?" Mercedes asked Santana as they walked into the kitchen to re-fill the candy bowl. It was a little after eight p.m. and the earlier rush of trick-or-treaters had slowed down, except for a few stragglers here and there. The party guests had all pretty much left too, except for their core group of yoga friends and their families. The mothers hadn't all gotten together since that awful day, and they were all eager to catch up and check-in with Santana that none of them really cared about keeping the babies on schedule that night, not even Brittany.

"Okay, I guess," Santana sighed, adjusting the precious cargo in her arms, and wincing slightly as her son's eighteen pound body collided with her bony hip. While she was still fiercely committed to attachment parenting, Topher was admittedly getting pretty heavy, and with her recently decreased appetite, she was a bit weak. Despite all the issues they'd had, she was beyond proud that her tiny five pound preemie had already more than tripled his birth weight, all thanks to her effort. She wasn't about to share her sweet baby boy with her cheating douchebag of a husband, so, she sucked it up. Topher wasn't going to be a screwed up rich kid if she could help it.

"Finn and I haven't said a word to each-other since I yelled and cried when the story broke, not even 'pass the non-dairy creamer'. He's tried a few times, but I'm just not ready to talk about it. I just…" she paused, trying to fight back tears. It was amazing she had any left after all the crying she'd done recently. "I just can't believe he would ever do this to me, to us," she added, kissing Topher's head and adjusting his bandana. "All the signs were there for months but I pushed them back because the Finn I thought I knew wasn't capable of that."

"Yeah, I'm so sorry Santana, I know you're probably tired of hearing that, but I just can't imagine what you're going through right now," Mercedes said sincerely, squeezing her friend's hand.

"Thanks," Santana sniffed, "I'm just thankful Quinn insisted on spending the night when I found out. I was just so upset that I didn't notice Topher's crying. It was like I was in my own self-centered little world. But she was there to comfort him, and bring him to me when he was hungry, and she comforted me too. She let me grieve and she didn't make me feel guilty when she had lost so much more. But this is kind of like a loss too, the death of my trust in my husband. It was what I needed at the time, and then she helped me realize that my son still needed me. Anyways," she sighed. "Tell me about this new man in your life, Mercedes."

"Well, his name is Shane," Mercedes began. "I met him a few weeks ago at a wedding that I worked at. He was the brother of the groom and also the best man. I caught him checking me out a few times during the reception but I tried to remain professional and ignore it. That all went out the window when I saw him dancing with the flower girl. He was so good with her, so when it was over, and he asked me for my number, I didn't hesitate." She shuffled her feet as she blushed. "I was a little nervous telling him about Whitney and my situation with Kurt, but I told him on our first date, and he was perfectly fine with it," she gushed. She felt guilty bragging about her new relationship to her friend who was having so many problems with her own, but found herself unable to fight the smile.

"I'm really happy for you," Santana said quietly. She knew that she was fortunate that things were amazing between her and Finn for years, and tried to focus on the feeling that being in a new relationship with him gave her. Mercedes deserved that, she just hoped for her friend's sake that all men weren't cheating, worthless assholes. Although between her father and now her husband, she wasn't so sure anymore.

"Where is he tonight?"

"He's working, he's a police officer." Mercedes murmured. "It's fine though. He only just met Whitney and Kurt and Blaine last week. That went really well, but I don't want to unload all of our friends on him just yet. It's so new," she explained.

"There you girls are!" Rachel said a few seconds later when she entered the kitchen in her Princess Leia costume, Evita on her hip. Brittany, Quinn, and Tina followed closely behind her.

"We're just talking about Mercedes' new boyfriend," Santana explained, causing Mercedes to smile even wider.

"We're so happy you finally found someone," Tina said warmly, before turning to Rachel. "I have to say, Evita's costume is hilarious."

"Thanks. I'm not the biggest Star Wars fan, and I don't think my costume is particularly flattering, but Noah would not shut up about it, so I gave in." Rachel said with a giggle. "Although, I must admit she makes a very cute Yoda, and at least the ears keep her bald little head warm," she explained, giving her daughter a gentle squeeze. "I love yours, who knew they made Angry Birds costumes for every member of the family!"

"Yeah, I don't know who was more excited about it, me or Mike," Tina laughed. "Anyways, I get that Artie is Michael Jackson and Nathan is Blanket, but I can't figure out your costume," she said to Brittany.

"I'm a peanut allergy," the tall blonde deadpanned as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Of course you are," Rachel said, exchanging a glance with Tina. Brittany was sweet, but definitely unpredictable, they'd discovered. They never quite knew what was going to come out of her mouth next or why.

"I love yours Santana, you look hot! Finn's a lucky… I'm so sorry", Brittany said, shaking her head and stopping herself before she finished the sentence. "I wasn't thinking, I'm so stupid sometimes."

"You're not stupid, Britt-Britt," Santana reassured her friend, "and thanks, but I obviously don't look that hot, at least not to Finn," she said sadly.

"No offense, but Finn's an idiot if he doesn't think you're hot," Rachel chimed in, "but can I be honest? You're looking really skinny lately, and I'm not saying that just because I'm jealous. You know you need to eat healthy calories for Topher, right? I know being able to nurse is important to you," she added gently, wrapping her free arm around Santana.

"I know," Santana sighed. "Blaine already pulled me aside earlier and warned me about it. I actually just noticed tonight how skinny I've gotten. I'm not trying to lose weight, and I'm certainly not trying to harm my son. I just haven't had an appetite."

"Of course not," Tina added sympathetically.

"I'm actually pretty hungry right now," Santana admitted after thinking about it for a few seconds. "Is there any pizza left?"

"Tons, and it has your name on it," Mercedes replied warmly. "What kind do you want?"

They all decided they wanted more pizza, and settled around the kitchen table. It was quiet as they enjoyed their food, except for the occasional coo from a baby, or roar of laughter from the men in the living room when, when Santana broke the silence.

"Maybe it's karma." she whispered.

"Excuse me?" Mercedes asked, wiping the sauce from her mouth.

"Maybe Finn cheating on me is karma. I was such a bitch in high school, up until I started doing pageants and had to act like a lady. I mean, seriously awful. I probably deserve it," Santana suggested.

Mercedes waved her hand dismissively, "That is ridiculous, it doesn't work that way."

"Mercedes is right," Rachel added. "And we've all done things we aren't proud of when we were younger. I was the most obnoxious, self-centered drama slash choir nerd in high school. You would have hated me, Santana, all the pretty, popular girls did. Someday I may tell you the names they called me," she giggled, trying to lighten the mood.

"I almost flunked out of high school," Brittany admitted. "I would have if it wasn't for Artie. I had learning disabilities that went undiagnosed, and he was the only person who cared enough to notice. He did some research and helped me find new ways of learning. Everyone else thought I was mentally retarded, literally."

"Wow, I would have never guessed," Tina said honestly.

"Yeah, it's not something I really like to talk about. It's nice to actually be treated like a normal adult, and I didn't want anyone to look at me differently. Anyways, my parents were not the most responsible, involved people either. They never paid attention to us, and they let me believe in Santa Claus until I was eighteen. He didn't come that Christmas, and when I asked them about it, they finally told me he wasn't real," the blonde explained sadly.

"I faked a stutter," Tina confessed.

"What? Why would you do that?" Mercedes snorted, trying not to laugh too hard. "I was a lot like you were too, Rachel. But I can promise you I was even more obnoxious."

Tina cringed, "I was painfully shy, and I started doing it to get out of an oral presentation. I kept it up for four years, but I don't know how I did it. Then I met Mike and started falling for him, and decided to come clean. He was a little hurt that I lied to him, but he got over it quickly."

"I also used to make out with girls for attention when I was drunk," Santana admitted after polishing off her second slice of pizza. "I was a mess. So, thanks for trying, but I'm still not convinced it's not pay-back."

"I totally did that too!" Brittany exclaimed. "Except I wasn't always drunk. There was a time that I questioned my sexuality, and thought I was in love with my best friend. But then I met Artie, and it was completely different."

"Santana, I was a mess in high school too. I was constantly fighting with my mom, I was a bitch to my classmates, I dyed my hair pink, got my nose pierced, smoked like a chimney, and even got a Regis Philbin tramp stamp, I got it removed, so don't bother looking," Quinn clarified to Brittany, who was reaching over and attempting to pull the back of her shirt up. "This isn't a costume," she added, gesturing to what she was wearing. "These are actual clothes I wore in high school that my mom never got rid of. I also had a pregnancy scare, and then when I found out I wasn't pregnant, I tried to get a friend to knock me up just so I'd have someone who loved me. He refused, and I didn't realize until I was older that he did that because he cared about me, and then I ran away to Hollywood as soon as I graduated, got on anti-depressants, and grew up. I even…" she started, unsure if she should admit this to Santana right now, in fear of the other woman hating her. "I even cheated on my boyfriend with his best friend when I was sixteen."

"Wow," Santana whispered.

"Yeah, I told you I was a mess. But I know you don't think all that means I deserved to lose my baby."

"Of course not!" Santana said vehemently.

"So, why do you think you deserve to be cheated on because of things you did when you were a child?" Quinn said, pulling the other woman into a hug. "You don't deserve this, no matter what you've done in your past, and I'm sorry it happened."

"I don't know," Santana sighed, leaning into Quinn's embrace. "I just don't know what to think anymore.

"What are you girls doing?" Kurt asked, coming through the kitchen door and grabbing the candy bowl.

"Sorry, we were hungry. I guess we got sidetracked and forgot what we came in here for," Mercedes explained.

"It's okay, the trick-or-treaters must have all gone to bed. But I was craving chocolate. It's the end of the month and Mercedes and I are on our periods right now," he joked to the other women. "Oh, Santana, Finn invited us to the Thanksgiving game. He said he rented out a box, and he'll order a catered dinner. Mercedes and Shane are spending the holiday with his family, and Blaine and I love football. Well, Blaine loves football, I love scarves," he clarified after he noticed Mercedes glaring at him.

"Sounds great," she smiled weakly. "I'd love to have y'all." This was their first Thanksgiving away from their families, and while Finn would spend a majority of the day involved in game-day related activities, she was quite relieved that when it was all over, it wouldn't have to be just her and Finn and the baby.

"Noah and Artie said you guys might join us too since your families are out of state and Noah's mom is crazy," Kurt added, turning to Rachel and Brittany and winking at the shorter woman.

"The more the merrier," Santana smiled again.

"Did she go down okay?" Kurt asked when Mercedes returned to the kitchen. It was two hours later, their friends had finally gone home, he had just said good night to Blaine, and was finishing up the last of the dishes while Mercedes bathed Whitney and put her to bed.

"Well she's asleep. It wasn't easy though, so try to keep it down. Are you sure you didn't sneak her any candy?" she joked, grabbing a plate off the rack and drying it before putting it away. "We do have a fully functional dishwasher, you know."

"I know," he sighed. "It's called Kurt. I always did it this way when I was a kid. It's therapeutic and it helps me think. Besides, this detergent makes my hands baby-soft. It's almost as good as duck fat," he teased, taking a ball of suds in his hand and blowing them toward her face.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked, swatting the bubbles away.

"This whole Finntana thing, I'm really bummed about it," he admitted.

"Finntana, really? You are such a dork," She laughed, before grabbing another plate.

Kurt blushed as she chastised him."Well, that's what the media is calling them, not that I read a lot of tabloids or anything. I'm trying not to, but it's hard. I just don't know what to think," he confessed.

"Look, I know you've idolized Finn for years, but he admitted everything to Santana. He told her he did it," she said bitterly. As someone who had been cheated on, she knew the empathy pain for her friend would last for a while. And Mercedes hadn't even been married to the guy.

Kurt nodded, "I know, but I still find it so hard to believe. I know I've only met him a few times, but he seems like such a stand-up guy, and as hard as it is for me to admit, I can tell that he really loves Santana."

Mercedes moved to wipe off the kitchen island and began rapidly scrubbing it, "Did he say anything about it tonight?"

"No, and we didn't ask." Kurt revealed. "No one really talked about it. He did mention that he feels horrible about what happened and that Santana still isn't talking to him and that she shares the baby with him even less now. He misses both of them."

"Well, that boy should have thought of that before he cheated," she hissed. She exhaled loudly as she fiddled with her hair before calming down slightly. "Santana also told us that they haven't talked at all."

"How's she doing?" he asked.

"She's devastated. She hasn't been sleeping, hasn't been eating, not that she really ate before, I'm sure. Her whole world cracked open, Kurt, how do you think she's doing?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "I just really hope they can work this out. They seemed happy before, and they look like the perfect family. I just really want to believe that fairytales exist.

"What would we be called?" She asked a moment later.

"What?" Kurt asked, not really getting what she was talking about.

"Well, you said the media is calling Finn and Santana 'Finntana'. What would be called?'

"Oh. Uh, Kurtcedes, I guess?" He laughed. "Anyways, speaking of not getting much sleep, why don't you go to bed, I'll get up with Whitney. I know you're exhausted."

"I don't know if that's your way of saying I look like crap, but I'll accept it. Sweet dreams Kurt," she smiled, kissed him on cheek, and then tiptoed to the nursery where she planted a feather-light kiss on her sleeping daughter's forehead.

"Sleep tight, my angel," she whispered, and then headed off to her bedroom where she inserted her ear plugs to enjoy eight glorious hours of sleep.


	31. November: Quinn

**a/n: Hi guys, remember me? Probably not, and I'm sorry about that. Things were crazy in my personal life for a while but I am trying to get back into the swing of things. This is not beta'd, but I wanted to get it out there for you guys. Speaking of betas I think I've lost mine. It was wonderful while it lasted, and I appreciate it, so thank you thank you thank you if you're reading. If anyone else that's reading is interested in beta-ing, please leave a review or a pm! I'd love to have someone to kick my butt, proof-read, and brainstorm about my stories with. Thank you for the reviews last time, I'm sorry if I forgot to reply to you. That happens when you take months to update :/ . Anyways enjoy!**

"Namaste to you," Brittany said to Nathan as she bowed in front of his stroller and made a silly face, causing the chubby tow-headed baby to erupt into a fit of giggles. "Namaste , na-ma-stay, na-mas-tay, that's fun to say!" She mused, now laughing almost as hard as her son was, while Rachel and Mercedes playfully rolled their eyes, and Santana smiled that same smile she'd been wearing for a month, the one where her lips turned up but it didn't spread to the rest of her face like it used to. Quinn had met Brittany, Santana, Rachel, Mercedes and their babies for coffee after the new mothers attended mommy-and-me yoga, until Nathan had decided he wanted fresh air, and Rachel had to pee. And Rachel Berry-Puckerman didn't _do_ public restrooms. So they abruptly left, helping each other get the strollers down to the sidewalk, while Brittany worked on cheering her son up. Apparently "Namaste" was the greeting and the farewell at said yoga class, and was now the blonde's new favorite word. "Namaste, Namaste, Namaste," she sang, slightly off-key, and throwing a silly little dance into the mix, causing everyone, well almost everyone, to laugh hysterically.

"Oh God, Brittany you have to stop!" Rachel begged as she wiped her eyes and held her stomach. "My bladder control is not what it used to be thanks to my c-section, and I'll never make it back to my house."

"Sorry," she mumbled innocently. "I was just trying to calm Nathan down."

"Well he's fine now, but I'm about to pee my pants. We all love your songs, and you can resume them once we get back to my house and I've relieved my bladder."

"Yeah, he's fine now thanks to my singing!" Brittany explained.

"That or the unseasonably warm weather and sunshine, which has been proven to lighten one's mood," Rachel offered, to which Brittany replied with a quiet "Namaste" and another peal of laughter from the group.

Quinn was bringing up the rear on the narrow, uneven sidewalk with Santana who was trying to force a laugh, when she noticed the other woman was looking at her. Quinn wondered how the yoga class was going for Santana since the scandal with Finn broke. If the other mothers there stared at her or if they avoided eye contact. If they tried offering comforting words or if they said nothing at all. If they whispered behind her back, or if they pretended like they knew nothing at all. Clearly they did, it was not only local news, but National, probably international, and Quinn had heard whispers about it at the grocery store, the restaurant, and at the park. She even stole her dentist's copy of USweekly, just so it would be one less magazine out there for everyone to read. It seemed like everywhere she went in that small, insignificant town, people had nothing better to do than discuss her friend's personal problems. She remembered the looks of pity, the staring, the avoidance of eye contact, and the awkward fumbling of people trying to come up with the right thing to say after Beth died. To her, it was one of the worst parts. They continued walking, Quinn was making small talk with Santana, Brittany and Mercedes were in the middle of the pack, while Rachel practically ran ahead of them.

"Topher is such a good baby," Quinn remarked, as she watched the happy boy take in his surroundings and then look back at his mother and kick his legs and while he smiled sweetly.

"He's always been happy, I noticed that from the very beginning, when I used to watch you guys," she added sheepishly.

Santana's face lit up at that. She looked tired, but not quite as thin as she did on Halloween. Quinn wasn't sure if she'd been taking better care of herself, or if it was just the way the designer sweats, that she was sure cost more than anything in her own wardrobe cost her, hung on her.

"Thanks," Santana beamed. She never got tired of hearing compliments about her son; he truly was her pride and joy. "He is good, I wish he would sleep through the night more often, but he's good." Quinn smiledback at them and then they fell into a comfortable silence for the rest of the way there. Topher would let out an occasional coo or happy shriek, the women would laugh, and Santana quietly contemplated the whole co-sleeping thing. She loved her son, she really did, but there were no words to describe how exhausted she was. He was still waking up most nights, usually more than once, and while she loved the quiet moments they spent nursing, and cuddling, and bonding, she also needed her sleep. He was seven months old now, and even though he was the oldest baby in the group, he was the only one that wasn't sleeping through the night. She loved the idea of co-sleeping, and always being there for her son, but she wondered if the fact that she was always there was encouraging him to wake up. It was as if he knew she was there, and that he'd get what he wanted, so he woke her up. Still, she had committed to this way of parenting, and she had to see it through, at least for a few more months, and since Finn was no longer sharing a room with her, at least someone was there to keep her company. Topher was really happy, that was the most important thing. At least someone in their family was. And selfishly, she loved the fact that she was currently her son's favorite person. His first year was going by way too quickly for her liking, and she knew that soon he'd be a toddler, and then a little boy who liked to run around and play ball, and his father would be his hero. But for now, she was all he seemed to want, so she'd stick with it.

"You're doing a good job with him, Santana," Quinn added after a beat, as if she could tell what the other woman was thinking.

They arrived at the cozy house, immediately being greeted by warm smells of Thanksgiving and Fall, while Rachel ran to the bathroom and the other women brought the strollers inside and set the babies on blankets on the living room floor, and Brittany continued her "Namaste" song from earlier.

"So much better," Rachel sighed when she returned a few minutes later. "Who wants pumpkin bread?" She asked eagerly. None of them were particularly hungry, but it smelled amazing, and Rachel was a fabulous cook, so they didn't turn it down.

"Oh my God, Rachel, this is incredible. You have to give me the recipe," Mercedes gushed.

"Thanks," Rachel smiled. She had spent weeks perfecting the recipe, and was extremely proud of it, if she did say so herself. "It's really simple, it just calls for a can of pumpkin puree, four eggs, a cup of vegetable oil, 2/3 of a cup of water, 3 cups of su….of that granulated, sweet, white stuff," Rachel fumbled, her face becoming red as she quickly caught herself before she said the word they'd all been avoiding around Santana since the scandal. They'd even started putting Splenda in their tea and coffee when they were with Santana, and Rachel _loathed _Splenda.

"She's talking about sugar, Mercedes," Santana clarified bitterly, as if the other women didn't know. "As in Sugar Motta. Sounds like a good name for a home-wrecking, husband-stealing, star-fucking, twenty-one year old pregnant, football groupie whore, don't you think?"

Everyone just kind of looked around the room awkwardly for a few moments. Quinn studied her fingernails that were desperate for a manicure as she thought about Sam. She was so thankful that at least she had gotten pregnant by such a good, kind man. They lived in Hollywood, the land of beautiful people, and Sam never strayed or so much as looked at another woman, even though she was huge, and hormonal, and covered in stretch marks for most of their marriage. Santana was still beautiful, much more beautiful than this Sugar girl, and her body appeared more-or-less the same as it did before pregnancy as far as Quinn could tell. It didn't make sense, and she felt horrible for the other woman. After a moment, Mercedes spoke up.

"I'm sorry, Santana, I shouldn't have asked for the recipe in front of you, I should have known that would be in it."

"We can't avoid the word forever," Santana sighed. She looked and sounded completely defeated. "It's not your fault my husband decided to cheat on me with someone who was named after a common baking ingredient."

"That name really is awful," Brittany commented, trying not to smile. Nothing about the situation was even remotely funny, but the name was so awesomely tacky that it was hard.

"It's one of the worst parts," Santana admitted. "I mean other than that fact that my husband cheated on me and now she's giving him his second child and not me. It's just so insulting that it had to be with a woman whose name screams 'trash'. It's like her parents were asking for her to be a slut with a name like that. Plus, that Jacob Ben-Israel douche-bag from TMZ keeps calling me for comments. I mean, really, how the fuck does he think I feel about it?" She spat, causing Brittany to wince and quickly cover Nathan's ears, as if she was afraid that he suddenly start repeating the word. Santana rolled her eyes, but she knew she had to start watching her mouth. Finn was always giving her a hard time for it, and lately she was tempted to start using even more profanity just to spite him, but she didn't. She had changed so much over the years, but her foul language was one of the few pieces of the "old Santana" that she hadn't lost.

"Ugh, he's such a scum-bag." Quinn groaned. "He approached me at the grocery store right after Beth died and asked me what I did with all my breast milk since I didn't have a baby anymore."

"Wow," Santana said, shaking her head. She was pretty sure if she ever encountered him in person, she'd slap the shit out of him, especially now. "Yeah, I have no idea how he got my phone number."

"They're sneaky," Mercedes sighed. Just the week before, she'd seen a picture of Santana and Topher on the cover of some tabloid. It was obviously taken in the park by the paparazzi. They lived in Ohio, they were supposed to be safe from that, but it was apparent that they had come to Lima just to snap a picture of them, and it made her blood boil. She hoped Santana didn't know about it.

"Yeah," Santana sighed, settling into a big cushy chair. She grabbed Christopher and wrapped a throw blanket around them. The baby, who was just starting to crawl, and into exploring everything, resisted at first, but Santana pulled him closer and planted a kiss on the side of his head. He just blew raspberries and melted into her embrace as he placed his head on her shoulder. It was as if he knew his mother needed the comfort more than he did, and he just let it happen. "Your house is so cozy, I wish I could stay here forever," she murmured, her eyes were getting heavy and threatening to close.

"Me too," Brittany admitted sadly.

"What's wrong with you?" Rachel asked.

"Artie." She sighed, shaking her head. "Artie is what's wrong with me."

"Oh, did he knock up a barely legal college girl? No, no, wait, that was my husband," a now fully awake Santana snarked.

Brittany just sighed as she picked Nathan up and awkwardly paced back and forth. She felt bad for bringing it up now, but they were her friends and she had to be honest with them. While it was true that she may not have the biggest problems compared to Quinn and Santana, it didn't mean that she didn't have problems at all, or that they didn't matter.

"I-I lied to you all," she stuttered. "I know I said that he took time off from his job for paternity leave, but that's not true. He got laid off."

"When?" Mercedes asked.

"In June. The day I started maternity leave, actually." Her voice was shaky, and she was trying not to cry, and then Nathan picked up on her mood and started to whimper. She fished a pacifier out of her designer diaper bag, a hand-me-down from Santana who was always getting new ones, and placed it in his mouth before it became a full blown cry. Brittany didn't mind that the bag was used. It still looked new, and it was something that she could never justify buying for herself, even if Artie was still working. So she took it everywhere, and proudly displayed it, label-side facing out. Santana had also given her some of the clothes she wore right after Topher was born and she wasn't quite back to fighting weight yet, but Brittany was slightly taller, and still had a little bit of extra weight around her stomach and thighs, so they weren't exactly flattering.

"How are you doing financially?" Santana finally asked.

"We're doing okay now that I've gone back to work. Artie was getting disability checks, and that wasn't enough. He wanted us to dip into our savings, but I couldn't do that. We're way too young to touch it. So I'm the breadwinner now. I never thought it would be like this." She sighed and patted Nathan's back gently. "I never thought I'd be one of those women who goes back to work so soon after having a baby, I secretly judged those women. It was always our plan for me to take a year off after he was born, but I felt like I didn't have a choice. And now, the sad thing is, I actually like working."

"Why is that sad?" Rachel asked. "There's nothing wrong with enjoying your job, in fact, I think it's great. I love my job!"

"But I don't love my job," Brittany admitted. "I just love getting out of the house. Getting away from Artie. But then I feel bad because I have to leave Nate with a sitter."

"Why doesn't Artie take care of him since he's not working?" Mercedes asked cautiously.

"I don't trust Artie," she sighed, her whispy bangs lifting up as she exhaled. "I mean, he feeds Nate when I'm not around, and does an okay job changing diapers, although I think he waits a while before changing them because the baby has had bad diaper rash ever since I went back to work. And they don't do anything. They don't go outside, and he doesn't give him a bath, or even change his clothes if he spits up all over himself, he doesn't read to him, doesn't play with him. Whenever I came home they would be lying on the couch watching tv, the house would be a mess, there were dirty bottles all over the coffee table. They didn't even watch anything educational like Baby Einstein or even Barney, it was just sports. So now Mrs. Kowalski , who lives below us watches him. She barely speaks English, and she has so many cats that Artie can't go over there without having an asthma attack," she added bitterly, still clearly resentful of the fact that she gave up Lord Tubbington for him. She loved Nathan more than life, and she was pretty sure she still loved Artie, but sometimes she wished she had chosen the cat. Her life would have certainly been less stressful.

"But she loves the baby and she sticks to my schedule and doesn't charge much. Maybe Nate will be bi-lingual at least. Not that Polish is that useful here, but at least he's learning stuff," she laughed pathetically.

"Oh Brittany, I'm so sorry,"

"And Artie," she continued. "He does nothing all day. Nothing!" She spat. "I thought maybe since he doesn't have to take care of the baby, he would apply for jobs or at least clean the apartment, or I don't know? Take Ducky for a walk. Instead he just watches television and fills out fantasy sports drafts, oh and porn. He checks out porn too. I don't think he knows I know how to check his history. I mean, I know guys like porn, and he's certainly not getting any from me since he doesn't even bother to shave or even shower most days. But why can't he apply for jobs online too? I'm sure he's depressed, and I'm sorry about that, but I just want him to wake up. He's making me depressed too, but I still work. I think Nathan was even getting depressed. Can babies get depressed?" She wondered aloud, but was interrupted by her phone vibrating in her pocket and she looked at it and groaned.

"That's my alarm, I have to go. I have to be at work in thirty minutes, and I have to drop Nathan off. I'll see you all later." She grabbed the stroller, refusing all offers of help, and abruptly left.

"Rachel, we have a problem," Quinn said, rushing over to her boss. It was later that same day, they were both at the restaurant, and it was during the dinner rush. "I think someone tried to flush paper towels down the toilet again," she sighed. "It's a mess, the bathroom is completely flooded."

"Ugh, no!" Rachel groaned as she wiped her forehead. This was the third time in less than two months that it had happened, and with a restaurant full of customers, she had to fight the urge to scream. "Okay I'm going to get all the towels and rags, you just try to get everyone out of here as soon as possible. Just tell them we're sorry, and comp all their meals," she sighed. She was beyond frustrated, and it would be a pretty big loss, but she didn't know what else to do.

It was an hour later, and they had managed to get everyone out and get the dishes and the flood cleaned up, but were still waiting on the plumber when Rachel anxiously checked her watch. "The daycare is about the close. Noah is working late, and I'll never make it there in time. I'll have to call Nancy," she shuddered.

"I could wait for the plumber," Quinn suggested. "I've got nothing else to do."

"No, I couldn't ask you to do that, it's my restaurant, it'll be okay. I'll just suck it up and call my mother-in-law," the brunette grumbled.

"Or I could get Evita," Quinn offered.

"Could you?! You'd be saving my life!" Rachel said eagerly, without even thinking about it, as she kissed the other woman's cheek. Quinn was a little surprised that Rachel was entrusting her with her child after what had happened with her own, and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't a little bit nervous. But she'd helped out with Nathan and Christopher, and nothing had happened, so that helped her confidence. Plus, Rachel really needed her.

"Who knows how long I'll be, but Noah should be home a little after midnight. Let me get you my keys, I'm parked on the third floor of the structure on Maple," she explained as she fished around the breast pump, hand sanitizer, rattle, various lip glosses, Barbra Streisand cd, and the blanket that smelled like Evita in her oversized diaper bag. "I'll just call the daycare real quick so they don't think you're trying to kidnap her."

Evita was sleeping when Quinn arrived to the daycare. She was curled up on her side, her tiny pink lips forming a pout, and a chubby arm shielding her eyes from the fluorescent lights on the ceiling. The blonde woman tiptoed over to the crib quietly after showing her I.D. and verifying how she was, and gently picked the baby up.

"Hi pretty girl," Quinn cooed sweetly as the baby started to stir and whine a little bit. "It's uh, it's Auntie Quinn. I'm your mom's friend, remember me? I'm going to take you home and put you to bed." That must have been good enough for Evita. She blinked at Quinn a couple of times, and then rested her head on her shoulder and placed her thumb in her mouth.

Quinn could feel Evita's cheeks working against her shoulder as she sucked her thumb while they walked to the car. A few times she sighed, thinking about whether or not she wanted to fuss, and Quinn just smoothed the tiny brown hairs that Rachel was admittedly glad had finally started to form on the four month old's head, mostly because her mother-in-law wouldn't be able to comment on it anymore. She started to whine as they neared the house, and Quinn silently cursed Brittany as she sang the "Namaste" song that was now stuck in her head. But Evita seemed to like it, as she stopped fussing and closed her eyes, almost falling asleep.

Quinn quietly got her out of the car, into the house, and upstairs to the nursery. Evita continued to fight sleep while Quinn changed her diaper and slipped her into a soft pair of footie pajamas, and then gently walked to the glider. Quinn was almost asleep herself, when she felt the gentle nuzzling at her chest that she remembered so well. It was what Beth used to do when she was hungry.

"I'm sorry baby girl," she murmured. "You must be hungry, I didn't even think about that. I'm a little out of practice." She held on to Evita with one hand as she fished around the diaper bag for a bottle. As soon as she saw that she was going to be fed, the baby smiled and took the bottle eagerly. Quinn smiled too, although a little sadly, as she thought of Beth. She'd be almost eleven months old now, and Quinn wondered what she'd be like. Would she still be fussy and colicky or would she be as happy as Topher and Whitney are, or as utterly charming as Evita and Lily, or would she be as deliciously chubby and blonde as Nathan? She also wondered if Beth would have transitioned to bottles by now, as she watched Evita who was just happy to be fed, no matter what the source was. Beth never took to a bottle, and it was one of the things that really frustrated Quinn, and kind of took away from the whole motherhood experience a little bit. She never admitted it, and probably wouldn't especially now, but Quinn absolutely _hated _breastfeeding. She felt lonely, and tied down, and would get so frustrated because Beth never seemed satisfied. Plus, it hurt. Her breasts constantly felt full and heavy, and her nipples were always sore, and the experience was at best, extremely uncomfortable, and at the worst, downright painful. And if she was being completely honest, she thought the whole idea of it was a bit weird. Still, she did it because it's what good mothers were supposed to do. She had made the mistake of saying she wasn't sure if she wanted to breastfeed at her childbirth class, and when it was over, she was cornered by what she and Sam referred to as the "boob nazis". She got a twenty minute lecture, and multiple pamplets that basically said that formula was rat poison and feeding it to your child was tantamount to child abuse. So, she never went back to that class, but the experience stuck with her and she was guilted into trying it. And she stuck with it because she had to. Because Beth didn't want anything to do with a bottle.

Sam had been so sweet and supportive, having a lactation consultant come over, and when that didn't help, he'd bought every bottle in Target, hoping to find one Beth liked. She was sad as she reflected on it, and she wished that things were different in so many ways, she wished she had a better attitude about motherhood, and taken time to enjoy it more. If only she could have known what would happen, but then would she do it all again? She had recently come to the realization that she would. Now she was becoming more at ease around other babies, and remembering more of the good times, and she was starting to feel more peaceful about it. Or trying to anyway, the last thing she remembered thinking about was Beth's first really big laugh.

She didn't know exactly when, but somehow Quinn had fallen asleep. The next thing she knew, she was being awoken by a gentle tapping on her wrist. Evita was awake and apparently had just discovered her tattoo. The blonde woman yawned and smiled wistfully as she traced it with her own finger and remembered the night she got it. It was a few weeks before she found out she was pregnant, and now that she thought about it, probably the night Beth was conceived. Sam had taken her to her out to a hot new sushi restaurant that they heard was always crawling with celebrities. It was a little out of their price range, but they were celebrating six months of dating, so it was a special occasion. Ryan Seacrest and some blonde were at the next table, so close that Quinn could have reached out and touched him. She would have, too, but Sam begged her not to. They racked up a huge bill, ate way too much sushi, and got completely smashed on saki and beer. She had been feeling fat that day, but after a few drinks, she didn't really care. They rode the ferris wheel on the pier until they wanted to puke, and then one of them, they couldn't remember who, had the wonderful idea to get matching tattoos. So they stumbled into a shady looking tattoo parlor that stayed open all night, one that they would have never set foot in had they been sober, and came out with matching Chinese symbols for "love" on their wrists. The next morning, they woke up with horrible headaches, and a discarded condom on the floor, which she now realizes was most likely improperly used.

She sighed as she pulled her sleeve down to cover it up, and wondered what Sam was doing. It was seven o'clock in California, so he'd probably be getting dinner. She wondered if he went to the Thai restaurant they'd been to several times a week when she was heavily pregnant and uncomfortable and trying to induce labor, or the chinese place the frequented when Beth was a baby, or if he'd found new take-out places because it was too painful. She wondered if he went to bed thinking about Beth every night like she did, if his nightmares had turned into sweet dreams yet, and how often he looked at his tattoo and thought of her. She wondered if he regretted it. If he regretted anything and everything with her, and if he had forgiven her for ruining his life. She also wondered if she was ready to call him. She pulled out her phone, about to dial his number, but changed her mind. She didn't know what to say. Instead, she placed a drowsy Evita in her crib, kissed her forehead, and quietly went downstairs to absent-mindedly watch herself on Lifetime while she waited for the Puckermans to come home.

**So, Sugar...Did you see that coming? What are your thoughts?**


End file.
